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...gondorian inn where it ws rumoured to rain beer and snow mushrooms.

Then the name of the forest was changed, and Mirkwood it was called, for...
Of The Rings Of Power in The Sil
....the wood was filled with deep dank, dusty dark, mushy milk, and malicious mirth, but mostly mirk.

'Oh, that won't do!' said Bilbo. 'Books ought to have good endings. How would this do: and they.....' - to Frodo in 'The Ring Goes South' of FotR.
...got beaten for ever until the final battle.

All that is gold does not glitter,
All those who ...


By an old hobbit.
.....All those who are old, are not fitter;
All those who are feathered, do not twitter.

'If then you are the Halfling that was named, doubtless you brought.....' Faramir to Frodo in 'The Window on the West' of TTT.
...your supper with you and some mushrooms i guess.

nice rhyme grondy. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

When they got to the edge of the circle of lights they pushed...
.....their pushcarts into it's center and set up shop selling hot dogs with chili, saurkraut, and three types of mustard: Grey Poupon Dijon, Plochman's Natural Stone Ground, and French's American Yellow.

Out leaped Wood-elves with their bows and..... - from 'Barrels Out of Bond' in The Hobbit
...plastic arrows ready for training and some of them actually tripped on their friends causing a mighty brouhaha in the forest.

They had escaped the dungeons of the king and...
.....and were trapped by the minions of the Wicked Queen of the West, who.....

They would stand a siege for weeks, and..... - from 'The Clouds Burst' in The Hobbit.
,and weeks unless we give them what they want: a few tons of popcorn.

Now far below the goblins and the wolves were scattering...
.....wild-flower seed towards beautifying their part of the mountain, which looked quite black and forbidding after that forest fire which was caused by all those Dwarves, their pet wizard, and his skulking little friend.

Frodo drew the Ring out of his pocket again and..... - from 'Shadow of the Past' in FotR.
...again just to see if it was there and try to decide whether or not it was pure gold.

When nearly a fortnight had passed Frodo looked out of his window and saw that...
Many Partings in the ROTK.
.....the beans Sam had planted in the garden the night before had grown into a forest that reached up through the clouds.

Inside the passages were lit with red torch light, and the elf-guards.... - from 'Barrels Out of Bond' in The Hobbit.
...were busy painting the walls bright red to celebrate the berry bush flowering this summer.

"No!" said Haldir. "We have two more ropes. We will fasten them above..."
Haldir to Legolas in Lorien at the crossing of Celebrant
.....on that branch on the left and leave the Dwarf and the youngest hobbit dangling for the Orcs to find while the rest of us make our get away.

The heads had vulture-faces, and on their great knees were laid..... - from 'The Tower of Cirith Ungol' in TTT
...naughty Orcs that needed a spanking and a time-out...

"I was not sent to beg any boon, but to seek only...
Boromir, in "The Council of Elrond"

.....the Ultimate Question of 'Life, the Universe and Everything,' to which the answer was "42".

'Nonetheless they will have need of wood, said Aule, and he went..... - from Chapter Two of The Silmarillion.
...to go pick some up from the lumber yard at Valar Depot.

For Ulmo bore up Elwing out of the waves, and he gave her...
Silmarillion, Chapter 24 "Of the Voyage of Eärendil"
.....a stern warning about going scuba diving without first setting a flag to inform boaters that divers are in the area, and especially to chastise her for leaving her diving buddy and going off on her own singular adventure; and finally the give her what for, for not allowing enough air-time to surface in stages so as not to become inflicted with the bends. After that he gave her a towel and a nice cup of hot tea.

'Did I not counsel you, lord, to forbid his..... - Grima Wormtongue to King Théoden at the coming of the three hunters to Eldoras as told in 'The King of the Golden Hall,' of TTT.
...cell phone?! That thing has not STOPPED since he got here. Meeting?! Hmph. You and he have barely gotten past 'hello', what with all these constant interruptions. How do you expect to conquer Saruman, or save Gondor, or storm the gates of Mordor, if the two of you can't even have a decent planning session?

"Why ever did I wake up!" he cried. "I was having such beautiful dreams. I dreamed I was..."
Bombur, when he wakes up after falling in the enchanted stream. The Hobbit, "Flies and Spiders"

.....sailing my 12 metre in the Americas Cup and was leading by twenty seconds on the last leg and England's Victory had just blown-out her spinaker when I was so rudely awakened.' I could have won that race.

'Let us shut out the night!' she said. 'For you are still afraid, perhaps, of mist and tree-shadows and deep water, and untame things. Fear nothing! For tonight..... - from 'In the House of Tom Bombadil' of FotR.
is the Super Bowl and all the nasty things in the forest went up to the Prancing Pony in Bree to watch the game on Butterbur's gorgeous new 60" Pana-palantiri flat-panel television.

In that hour Lúthien came, and standing upon the bridge that led to Sauron's isle she...
The Silmarillion, "Of Beren and Luthien"
....she dumped Beren's ashes into the waters with a heavy heart and tears in her eyes.

"And your snores would waken a stone dragon—yet....." the Merry People of Rivendell to Bilbo upon his and Gandalf's return there in 'The Last Stage' of The Hobbit.
...those lazy sluggard Dwarves somehow manage to sleep right though all your racket!

"Come! This is the hour when we draw..."
Aragorn to Eomer, "Helm's Deep"
a mural on the Keep's walls which Legolas has tricked Gimli into coloring—keep it inside the lines please.

'Yet there may be a light beyond the darkness; and.....' Aragorn to his mother Gilraen at their final parting in Appendix A of LotR.
...then when you come out of the tunnel you have to stop at the toll both and pay 5 dollars.

Good answer to my quote about "drawing"! As I wrote it, I was picturing a reply having something to do with pretty pictures of the sun and clouds and rainbows, and maybe a bunny under a tree...and you weren't too far off, LOL!!!!!! Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

"Love not too well the work of thy hands and the devices of thy heart; and remember that the true hope of the Noldor..."
The Silmarillion, in "Of the Noldor in Beleriand", and again in "Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin"

.....a chicken in every pot, a good five cent cigar, and to be the first of your family to graduate from University.

"It looks a bit thin, but its tough; and soft as milk to the hand. Packs close too, and as light as....." - Sam to Frodo about the physical characteristics of something he liberated during a midnight requisitioning trip prior to arriving at the Emyn Muil, which they were endeavoring to find a way of climbing off. - found in 'The Taming of Sméagol' in TTT.
...your wallet on payday AFTER the wife takes her share!!!

"We don't often see Shire-folk riding on the Road at night. You'll pardon my wondering..."
Harry the Gatekeeper, speaking to the Hobbits. FOTR, "At the Sign of the Prancing Pony"
....but do you have any Grey Pupon? (I don't know about that spelling, I looked in my refrigerator and I no longer had any of it.)

'But there was so much at stake that I had to take some risk—though even when I was far away there has never been a day when.....' - Gandalf to Frodo upon his return to the Shire after an absence of seventeen years. - from 'The Shadow of the Past' of FotR.
...I was actually GLAD that I gave up lounging around Valinor to go tramping around the muck and mire of Middle-Earth, sleeping in muddy ditches, tracking down that stupid Gollum that your idiot cousin Bilbo should've stabbed when he had the chance. AND WHAT THANKS DO I GET?!?!

OMG, LMAO!!!!! I am totally in stitches with the grey poupon!!!! I could just see that idiot Harry opening the little peep-hole in the gate and asking that. BWAHAHAHA

"Bilbo Baggins! You are more worthy to wear the armour of elf-princes than many that have looked more comely in it. But I wonder...
The Elven King to Bilbo, in The Hobbit "A Thief in the Night"
.....don't you think wearing it under that itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot bikini will be a distraction when the minstrels come retell your tale.

'What in truth this Thing is I cannot yet guess; but some heirloom of..... Faramir to Frodo upon their meeting after Sam's conie feast - in 'The Window on the West' of TTT.
...the mighty Rockefeller family is what I'm guessing. Hey, it's not a briefcase full of $100 bills now is it? Cause me & the other Rangers, we could really use that dough. This place needs a little redecorating, plus the boys have been working really hard and I think they've earned a "keg party" for next Friday.

His family grew and grew, and after his days continued to grow, until Brandy Hall occupied the whole of the low hill, and had...
Description of Brandy Hall, FOTR, "A Conspiracy Unmasked"
.....a great hall, three hundred eighty-five bedrooms, one hundred sixteen living rooms, thirty-seven kitchens, but just five bathrooms.

'They will delve in the earth, and the things that grow and live.....' - Yavanna to Aulë in their section of The Silmarillion.
...in my garden will need to be watered daily, fed once a week, and mowed twice a month. And make sure your Dwarves don't forget to trim the hedges and blow off all the clippings when they're done!!!

"The Riders are about again, up in the air. I saw them. Do you suppose they could...
Sam to Frodo in TTT, "The Black Gate is Closed"
....deliver fire suppressant to those wildfires that are still raging, seeing as how the DC-10's have been de-certified for that job since one of them clipped its wing on some trees, as it was trying to clear a ridge while flying low to deliver its payload?

The Streams shall run in gladness.
The lakes shall shine and burn,
And sorrow fail and sadness
At the.....

- from the old prophetic song sung by the inhabitants of Lake Town (Esgaroth), found in 'A Warm Welcome' of The Hobbit.
...cash register handling returns the day after Christmas.

Welcome, kinsman, for so I hold you. Here you shall dwell at your pleasure, save only that you must...
Turgon to Eöl, The Silmarillion, "Of Maeglin"
.....pay some nominal mandatory immigration fees and fill out these forms in triplicate, signing on each of the lines denoted with an X, which occur three times on each of the eleven pages.

'I need no map,' said Gimli, who had come up with Legolas, and was..... - from 'The Ring Goes South' in FotR.
...about to get everyone hopelessly lost, because (like most men) he refused to stop at a gas station to ask for directions.
"I *KNEW* I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque!" LOL! Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

"After all he is my friend, and not a bad...
Gandalf to the Dwarves, The Hobbit, "Out of the Frying-Pan into the Fire"
.....bridge partner, though he still has a predilection to trump my tricks time and again, even though I have yelled at him until I'm blue in the face.

The hobbits felt refreshed, as if they had had a night of unbroken..... - from 'A Knife in the Dark' of RotK.
...drinking, partying, and dancing in the local discotheque until the break of dawn when the Shirriffs arrived to break it up and send everyone on their way.

In this same time Fëanor came over the Sea in the white ships of the Teleri, and landed in the Firth of Drengist, and...
The Silmarillion, "Of the Sindar"
.....kissed the ground saying, 'Home again, home again, jiggety-jog.'

It was the trees at the bottom that saved them. They..... from 'Out of the Frying-pan into the Fire' of The Hobbit where the Company had just slid down the shale covered slope after escaping from the orcs backdoor and reuniting with Bilbo.
...saw that one of the trees was "home base", so they tagged the tree and yelled "Olly olly oxen free!" and stuck their tongues out at the big bad goblins NYAH NYAH, then all the goblins went back home in frustration.

But last night I told you of Sauron the Great, the Dark Lord. The rumours that you have heard are true: he has...
FOTR, "The Shadow of the Past"
.....a tiny pin-head, with just one huge flaming, all seeing eye, with which he is reported to look hither and yon for the Good Humor man's ice cream truck.

Sing and be glad, all ye children of the West,
for your King shall come again,
and he shall.....
- from the great Eagle's song proclaiming the fall of Barad-dûr to Minas Tirith found in 'The Steward and the King' of RotK.
...bring free ice cream for everyone since he managed to find the aforementioned ice cream truck that Sauron never could seem to locate.

And sitting upon his carven throne in the city of Armenelos in the glory of his power, he brooded darkly, think of...
"Akallabêth", shortly after Ar-Pharazôn seizes the sceptre
.....filling his bathtub and stocking it with boats, wonderful toy boats with which to invade the homeland of those arrogant busy bodies, the Valar and their Elven toadies.

'So it came to pass in the days of Cirion the Twelfth Steward (and my father is the six and twentieth) that they......' - Faramir to Frodo and Sam after they had viewed the Window on the Westm in the chapter of that same name in TTT.


...decided to raise more money by legalizing gambling, but only in the ocean resort of Dol Amroth. Although this resulted in increased state revenues, it also attracted a lot of undesirable Half-Orcs, Trolls, and Ogres.

And the inner fire of the Silmarils Fëanor made of...
The Silmarillion, "Of the Silmarils and the Unrest of the Noldor"
.....a single wax birthday candle; I believe it was purple and had been lit with a Bic lighter.

'Get down or we will shoot you from the wall,' they cried. 'This is no parley. You have.....' - The Uruk-hai to Aragorn at the Hornburg in 'Helm's Deep' of TTT.
...10 seconds before this message will self-destruct. 10....9....8....7........"

'So it was that when summer waned, there came a night of moon, and Gwaihir the Windlord,
swiftest of the Great Eagles, came unlooked-for to Orthanc; and he found...'

Gandalf to Frodo -- FOTR, "The Council of Elrond"
... a raging party with Gandalf doing a jig in the centre of the crowd and Saruman tending the bar.

Then hope was renewed in the hearts of the Elves; and in that very time, at the third hour of morning...
Damn! My computer crashed after I finished writing my finish and was going back in another window to check if my finish fit as my defrag program activated for its weekly run. That should be weakly run, as it takes hours even though I close all programs except it, Explorer, and my web filter which I tell to stop all internet action over the cable. The computer shuts down if I close Explorer—via cont-alt-del—the problem is every five minutes the defrag starts over checking for errors because of data changed and it takes about four minutes to get back to the new area where it stopped. And it is only a 20 gig hard drive. My 200 gig portable drive doesn't require defragging. I'd get a new computer and op system i I could run my old programs on it, but for the users convenience those won't run on the new systems. Anyway.....

....when the sun rose at its most northerly point on the eastern horizon, as was its want each year and as it had each and every year since Treebeard was a twig and he saw the first time it brought light to Middle-earth.

'I like walking under the stars. But I would welcome..... - Frodo to Gildor in 'Three Is Company' of FotR.

... the company of a lovely maiden and an ice-cream for each of us.

Sorry to hear about your computer, Grondy. But all one can do about it is nod his head knowlingly and offer sympathies.But maybe you should discontinue the scheduled defragmentation and do it only when you have no need of the computer. Like before you go to sleep.

Frodo glanced at all the faces, but they were not turned to him. All the Council sat with downcast eyes, as if in deep thought. A great dread fell on him, as if...
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