Thread: Ask Eruwen
So ask away....
Each post must start with "Dear Eruwen" and finish with your choice of signature.
The small print: Eruwen is not a licensed therapist. All advice is a matter of her opinion and her opinion only (which according to her whims and fancies is subject to change). In order to swallow her advice more easily, be sure to take it with a grain of salt.
I feel like my gardener hangs around my windows eavesdropping and what not; and he follows me around like a warm puppy dog. Am I being paranoid about this or is there a perfectly rational answer.
Desperately awaiting your answer,
Of course there is a simple explanation to your gardener’s doting behavior – he admires you. We follow people around who we most want to emulate, hoping for their respect in return. He is probably eavesdropping to make sure you are not leaving him, for it seems that he would not know what to do with himself without you to follow around.
You, on the other hand, have some issues to work through. Your gardener is not the only one with an unhealthy obsession, for your paranoia stems from the fact that you also have an unhealthy obsession with your gardener. A gardener is a person associated with nature. He has a closeness with plants and animals that you most likely stepped away from long ago; however, your paranoia is a sign that you were never able to completely do this. Perhaps you were forced to grow up too quickly and had to abandon that part of your childlike self without fully incorporating it into your adult identity?
The gardener is ghosting you because you want him to. You need to ultimately acknowledge that you too want to be closer to nature, which would allow you to get in touch with your childhood and, in turn, more firmly establish your adult identity. Instead of simply looking at your relationship as a master/servant relationship, you need to see your gardener as your friend. When you do this, you will both be able to benefit from one another’s knowledge – you from his natural wisdom and he from your ability to stand on your own two feet. As a result, one day you will be able to more firmly establish your adult identity, and he will be able to follow his own pursuits without looking to follow your lead.
Yours until the Reckoning,
Life is very bleak for me. All day I do nothing but sit or walk around. I must mention that I am behind bars so there isn't much space to sit or walk around. And at night I'm compelled to sleep due to lack of any probable activites. There are 2 more inmates who share the room with me and they don't talk to me at all. The worst thing is that I feel like a public display because of all the people who come to jeer and leer at me. I feel so like a burden. And the food is pathetic. I feel suicidal but there isn't anything to end my life with me. Please help.
Monkey from the Zoo.
You’re either really in a zoo, in prison or possibly married. Being “behind bars,” whether literally or figuratively is never an easy thing. There are two types of prisons, those we impose on ourselves and those imposed on us by others. Naturally, the latter of the two is the most difficult to deal with, since it was not your own life choice.
If you are in prison or married, then you probably chose the lifestyle that led you to enter into one of these institutions. If you are in a zoo, then you probably were not given a choice. Either way, your attitude needs to change.
Let’s begin with societal institutions. These are constraints you have chosen for yourself. Man chooses to constrain himself to separate himself from animals. If you wish to be free from constraints, then you must realize that you may be shunned from society; but you may find your happiness. If you still wish to live within the bounds of society, then you need to buck-up, and accept the decisions that you have made and get involved with your life once again.
Now, if you really are a monkey in a zoo, then let’s look at the positive side – although the food is terrible, you are indeed fed everyday, whereas this might not be the case if you were out in the wild. You also have less disease and health risks. However, it sounds like you might be happier if they weren’t feeding you everyday, since you have reasoned that you rather not live than live the way you currently are.
Solving your problems yourself, might actually occupy some of your time, and solve more than just your boredom. First, focus on why your inmates aren’t talking to you. Have you done something to them? Or are you simply a monkey that they do not wish to associated themselves with, for you may bring them down as much as yourself? As I stated before, beings wish to surround themselves with those that they want to emulate. Ask yourself if you are a monkey others would wish to be like.
Your wish to die is your natural aggression turned on yourself, for you have no other outlet for it. You need to find ways to occupy your time that would satisfy this wish in other ways – love and play are two possible ways of satisfying this need. I’m not sure whether your inmates are male or female, but either way – love or play – you will find an outlet here if you open yourself up to them.
The second problem you must solve is the people jeering and leering at you. Perhaps rather than letting the people jeer at you until you react, try reacting before they have the chance to jeer. Entertain them, and you may see that you entertain yourself as well. You may become that monkey that the others wish to be like. Also, if you are absorbed in love or play, then you may find that your focus on those leering fades into the background.
If you really do not want the leering, then you may just have to hide until the zoo closes. But that doesn’t seem to be a solution to any of your problems.
Yours until the Reckoning,
No, you are not crazy, at least not along the lines of the question you have asked me. You may not have noticed, but there are several threads here that do not deal with Tolkien. Someone may ask me a question related to their PT character, a Tolkien character or something not associated with either.
Yours until the Reckoning,
Why am I so much greater in the admirable attributes of wisdom and might, to those who are clearly lessar then myself, which is incidently the worlds population?
Awaiting your answer on the only question I myself have never been able to satisfy.
I naturally pondered the standard answer that if you are so mighty and wise, then you should be able to answer this yourself, but that would disguise the true issue here. You would not have asked the question if you truly were satisfied with your life the way it is. By separating yourself from others the way you have, you have clearly made yourself a lonely soul. You are seeking attention, but you are going about it the wrong way.
Those who have separated themselves from all others, whether perceiving themselves above or below others, are causing division in the world and not community. Division can also be described as tyranny, which is caused by the will of one being forced upon the will of another. True power and might does not come from division, but from community: unity and wholeness. When one is able to bring others together voluntarily rather than through a will that is forced upon them, they have demonstrated true power.
From my previous post to Itchy, tyranny obviously does not allow other individuals to rise to their full potential, giving you the falsely perceived notion that you are actually better than they are. If you would allow others to rise to their full potential, then you might not be so great and mighty anymore; and if you are truly greater in might and wisdom than others, the ones you are greater than would naturally reach this conclusion on their own.
If and/or when others begin perceiving you as mighty and wise through their own will, then you might be able to answer this question on your own in the future, bringing you satisfaction of the mind and soul.
Bring others together through community rather than tyranny, and all life (yours and theirs) will be more pleasant.
Yours until the Reckoning,
One can only reach tyranny if the lessar around him permit him to do so. Therefore one who is a tyrant has been made so becuase of the lack of opposition aganist his position as a tyrant - hence he is a tyrant through the doing of others as well as himself. This therefore brings the element of community - working togther to rise one to a tyrant. Others may establish there place below him as they did not challenge getting above him.
Without tyrants there would be no community as there is nothing to compare community to. Just like there can be no good without evil, for then the world simply 'Exists'. If you elect the way of community you are never going to rise above the rest of your fellow communists, whereas with tyranny a more structured hierarchy is formed, thus greater descions can be implemented without having to complicate things by consulting the community.
Tyranny is false community. Beings want power because it satisfies their natural urge for aggression and destruction (bringing one eventually back to wholeness that will only result in another division), but this will not bring about a higher plane of wholeness and existence. Good is not good because of its opposition to evil, good and evil cannot be separated out this way, they are are each a part of one another in endless circle, which is only divided by our own false perceptions; and to simply "exist," as you put it, would be true peace and community. Tyranny is simply a tyrant attempting to bring together others through aggression, which in the end, only brings destruction (i.e. division).
Do you think Itchy is in the zoo because he allowed others to put him there? Perhaps not. Perhaps he was born there. Perhaps he was kidnapped and forced into submission. Tyranny does not come from others "allowing" that person to be a tyrant. A tyrant simply wants to bring others together (as we all naturally want to), but he confuses obedience brought through aggression with the satisfaction that comes with true wholeness. The final result will only be division.
Yours until the Reckoning (when you will finally find out what it means to resist a tyrant),
I am a lonely soul, i spend most of my time floating around in my head to avoid the pains of today, i wander in endless places, meeting people i once knew. I even see myself doing things that are impossible, physics that don't calculate and sometimes recreating events that i should have handled differently. Am i a psychopath ready to explode??? Or am i fed up with the world???
Mr A. Lone
Am i a psychopath ready to explode??? Or am i fed up with the world???
(It is Grondy's uneducated opinion that the words of Douglas Adams's Slartibardfast are appropriate here: )
"No," said the old man, "that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Every person in the Universe has that."
I am a lonely soul, I spend most of my time floating around in my head to avoid the pains of today, I wander in endless places, meeting people I once knew. I even see myself doing things that are impossible, physics that don't calculate and sometimes recreating events that I should have handled differently. It gets to the point that the only solution to my problem is to withdraw further inside myself. The pains of living tax themselves on me more, depriving sleep and generating more despair. Yes, Elessar Lossëhelin, you are alone, but only because you have not truly regressed as far as I.
I stand alone.
To those wondering if I'm suicidal: no, I am not. Only time can heal me.
What exactly is love?
Until Eruwen has time to provide you with an answer from her professional knowledge base, here is my less than amateur reply:
There was going to be a Classics Illustrated comic book edition for each of the six LotR books; however, the the Tolkien family solicitors found out and put the kibosh on it. So your best bet would be to read the books: one chapter a night, if you can limit yourself to only that much.