Thread: Story Game
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Gandalf then said: ,,Fool of a dwarf, it would suit you well to be left here, at least that would rid us of your stupidity"
,,I agree totally with Gandalf, however since we are supost to be the good guys we can´t do that" said Elrond
A very awkward silence
Galadriel, in a moment of weakness, pleaded to the rest of the company that they would stop and help Gimli.
Aragorn, who had remained silent a very long time and hadn't even tried to show off his manlyness in an extremly long time (10 minutes) took a liane and swinged himself over to Gimli, shouting: "OOOOOOIIIIIOOOOOIIIIOOOOOHH!!!".
He landed, very elegantly, in a bush of nettles and sprung up, holding his hands in his behind, screaming like a little girl: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!! IT BURNS, IT BUUUURNS!!" Pippin and Merry laughed so hard at Aragorn's spectacle they fell over and into the yucky little stream.
Aragorn cried and went to Galadriel for comfort and plasters.
Sam, who now had developed long, furry ears and ran on all four, jumped around, got himself loose from the leash and ran over to Gimli. Gimli, afraid of all hobbits similar to dogs, fell over backwards and got rid of the sticky goblet, which later turned out to be nothing but a lollipop, which Sam more than happily ate.
Aah, they were on their way again and everybody had become quite tired and Aragorn kept complaining about his behind. All of a sudden an arrow came trhough the woods and nailed Elrond's expensive-but-not-very-right-in-fashion-jacket stuck to a tree...
"Look, guys, I'm in a really cranky mood today, ok? We've walked for hours and I just sat in a bush of nettles and these guys just won't stop laughing at me..." The company starts to giggle when they remember the sight of Aragorn in the nettles "STOP THAT!!" Aragorn shouted. "Ahem, anyway, I don't have the time or the energy for your silliness, Oliver and Connor. If you don't leave us alone now, I will have to show off my great manlyness."
The rest of the company is rolling on the ground laughing when Aragorn says this and Oliver and Connor looks very confused.
"We still want to know what you're doing here" Connor said.
I´ll count to three and if you haven´t answerd when I get to three I will wait a little longer, but just a little, and if you haven´t answerd then, I will blast you to oblivion Ha, ha ,ha ha.
Oliver have you been taking your pills? Sayd Connor
Oliver ignored that remark and started counting: one.........two.........thr! NO wait said Frodo, I´ll tell you what we are doing here.
Like hell you will sayd Legolas and shot Frodo in the shoulder.
You idiot, why did you shoot Frodo but not them?? Sayd Elrond.
Ooh, wright, sorry Frodo Legolas sayd in an sorry voice and started crying. After 5 minutes or soh he noticed everybody was looking at him. He was embaressed and decided to make them think about something else, soh he killed Connor and Oliverwith his bare hands.
You know, said Gimli, sometimes you freak me out
[Edited on 10/5/2003 by pesi]
[Edited on 10/5/2003 by pesi]
"Dag nam it shouted Aragorn he ripped my bloomers.
"Be quiet you big sissy" shoutewd Frodo
Then from the shadows dropped down a caped figure.
"Need some help Oliver"
"The more the merry we have quiet the little band here Bruce."
--Sorry Sheryl, I just had to do that--
"ALRIGHT Just STOP IT!" yelled Gandalf. "I'm sick and tired of all those people suddenly jumping up in our faces from a shrubbery or a rock or from behind a tree. Now let's just move on." The poor Saruman was stunned as he thought he was going to frighten and surprise the fellowhip. As Gandalf walked past him he nudged Saruman who fell over the same cliff and right on top of Lurtz! What do you know, some people are lucky.
Anyway, The Fellowship had many other adventures there in the forest that they had unknowingly walked straight into, but since I'm sick and tired of not getting anywhere, you won't hear about them.
They finally got out of the forest and into a great field. They saw birds circulating in the sky and then fifteen great eagles with golden chains around their neck landed just infront of Gandalf's feet.
And Frodo said, "Who is this Enemy you hath spoken of, Gonedaft?"
Suddenly a low voice murmered:
"The Enemy is an Elven-prince
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the first whose realm was vain and whiny
and full of hair-products, oh so shiny"
The others stopped in amazement, for the voice was Sam's.
"By Eru, what doest thou here!?" shouted the Wizard.
"Sam!" Frodo cried, and raced to his side.
Everyone shook their heads.
"Well, er...great to have you back, Sam!" said Elrond.
"Sam's riddle, what does it mean by "The Enemy is an Elven-prince?"
"Well, Sam?" asked Galadriel.
"We knows!" said a voice in the shadows. "But we will not tell it to the one who stole our shrubbery. Thief! Baggins! We hates you forever. It's ours! Mine! My, no! Our...precious. Give us the Precious!
It was Gollum/Sméagol.
"What's he doing here?" asked Pippin.
"Fool of a Took!" said Gandalf.
Aragorn said,"Ah! so u know bout our little footpad, do you? He's been following us since Rivendell."
"Wait a second!" cried Frodo. "That riddle sounds awfully like Legolas here."
The entire company turned and stared at the Elven prince from Mirkwood.
"You, Legolas?" said Saruman, who had climbed up the cliff.
Then the Enemy was aware of them, and his elven-Eye piercing all shadows looked across the clearing to Frodo; and the magnitude of his own folly was revealed to him in a blinding flash.
Legolas quickly drew his white dagger, ran to the cliff, and jumped off. One of the fifteen Eagles hovering there cught him on his back. "Quickly, Gwaihir!" he cried. "Do not let me fall" he gasped, for he felt life in him. "Bear me to Barad-dûr!"
"I've never heard of Barad-dûr before," said Sam again, wagging his doggy tail.
PJ steps into the scene yelling: "CUUUUT!! CUT CUT CUT!!! Ok, WHO came up with the idiotic idea to bring in old Monty Python jokes in this? I've TOLD YOU guys: I DID NOT direct Monty Python (but oh dear I whish I had) I made 'Meet The Feebles'. If you are going to put in ANYTHING from another movie, put in MY movies! They need all the promotion they can get. Ok, carry on guys."
"Well, Sam", Gandalf said, "You see, Barad-dûr is the enemies place, that's were we're heading."
"YIKES! We're heading to the enemies place???" Sam put his tail between his legs. "I don't want to go there! I'll die! Again! And again! And probably a third time too!"
"And a fourth time three", said Elrond. "OUCH! Galadriel, why are you stepping on my foot?" he cried and Galadriel whistled and looked suspiciously innocent.
"Yeah Sam, but if you go there, I'll give you a treat!" Frodo tried. "Here boy!" Sam jumped over to Frodo. "Goood boy, Sam, goood boy!"
"Er.. hello? People? We've got an elf and an ex-friendly eagle on the run here", Pippin yelled and waved with his arms to get attention.
And with that he proceeded to run up a hill and jumped he actually fleew for about 2 seconds then he fell into a shoe which had been left by some dark roguish stranger
Then, Frodo watched in disgust as Sam...
"You've got what?" asked Samwise, struggling to be freed from his ... prison. "A bruise on your noggin?"
"No, Fool of a Gamgee!" replied the wizard. "An answer to why this plotline has become so screwed up. It must me a film by Ralph Bakshi, since he was so hopelessly naive to details that he couldnt even get Celeborn's name right!"
"It doesn't feel like we're in a movie," Frodo said cautiously.
"How would you know?" Gandalf spake. "Have you ever had a dream so real that you were unable to tell the dream-world from the real world? What if you were unable to wake up? How would you know where you were? Consider this movie-world to be a dream-world."
Pippin shut his ears, saying "I'd rather be in a book."
Frodo says, "Hold on! Now this sounds like a Wachowski brothers movie! We've got Gonedaft as Morpheus...And I'm Neo (his smaller version). Look, there's Agent Smi-, oh, sorry, its just you, Elrond."
"Well, it's hard to tell them apart, since they're both played by Hugo Weaving in the movies." Gandalf said.
"Anyway," Gandalf said, "I remembered that those eagles are the fifteen Chieftains of the Eagle-lords, and they're good. So how can they be evil-acting? We must be in a movie." He calls for Legolamb to come back, and not to follow the script. The Elf sheepishly returns.
"But if that is true, Mithrandir" says Leggy, "whose movie are we in? It sounds like a movie by both Bakshi and the Wachowskis."
"I know!" said Merry, who had been following them for a while without saying a word. "It sounds exactly like a Peter Jackson movie! The low-budget, philosophy-enriched style, complete with a lack of attention for details sounds like our Kiwi friend!"
"Ah!" said Gandalf. "You have solved the riddle! Now let us enter the Mines of Moria."
The Fellowship looked at each other in disbelief, each silently saying to himself, what's he talking about??
"Oh! Sorry, wrong movie." amended Gandalf hastily. "Well, now that we know we're in a movie, let us be off! We must go to the TRUE Dark Tower, the place where the scripts and cameras are, stealthily recording our every action. To Wellington!"
The Company agreed, and went on the march to New Zealand (which happens to not exist yet in ME, but PJ doesnt concern himself with such details ), singing a song, deep and low:
To Wellington! Though Wellington be ringed and barred with doors of stone;
Though Wellington be strong and hard, as cold as stone and bare as bone,
We go, we go, we go to war, to hew the stone and break the door;
For bole and bough are burning now, the furnace roars - we go to war!
To land of gloom with tramp of doom, with roll of drum, we come, we come;
To Wellington with doom we come!
With doom we come, with doom we come!
[Edited on 8/7/2003 by Arcormacolindóva]
"Don't be stupid, you Fool of a Took," replied Merry, "this is an island and you can't dam up an ocean, especially one as big as the Specific; and even if you could, we'd all drown ever afore the water reached those guys in up the TRUE Dark Tower, what's currently locating in Wellington."
Then, they saw a black speck falling from the sky. It was the Withc-King of Angmar, on Ancalagon the Black!
"Ankly! I thought you were dead!" cried Gandalf.
Angmar dismounted the Beast and flew to the ground; he pulled out a massive greatsword of obsidian and steel; proceeding to chop off Galadriel's head, since he had mistaken her for Éowyn. The blade fell with blinding speed and the Jewel of the Noldor stood there, dazed.
Then, when it was a hair's breadth away from her neck, she took her two hands and smashed them on either side of the blade, stoping it; whilst throwing the Captain of Carn Dûm out of the air and onto the ground.
"What business does a Black One and a Dragon have in the lands of Men and Elves? Speak quickly!"
The Fell One hastily screeched out an endless defiant note, of which the following words could be discerned: 'Nubin sherkuk, rakhizinash, matizinashûk!'
Gimli rolled his eyes and said "So much for the legendary courtesy of the Wraiths! Speak words we can all understand!"
So the Black One hissed "I smell your blood, I shall devour it; eat it all!"
Sam started to whimper and said "this guys starting to creep me out!"
The company then decided that they were going to -...
Mean while the forces of evil ...
Meanwhile, Gandalf was...
Anyway - "So *hiccup* about this *hicc hicc* war on *hicc* Wellington..." Gandalf didn't quite finish his sentence, as he suddenly fainted and slumped on his chair. The rest of them rolled their eyes and continued to ignore him..
During this interval the orcs returned laden down with bricks and a spool of orange ribbon, the General Store having sold all their pink ribbon to Aragorn for his party frock. The Black One took the ribbon and started tying pretty bows around the bricks.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Legolas was ...
After a fail court case (they were trying to sue Aragorn for buying all the pink ribbon, they deemed the orange ribbon unsuitable for their evil puposes!), the bad guys headed back to their new top-secret-hide-out; the public toilets at Isengard.
Meanwhile, Gandalf was...
peeing!!! when Saurumon walked in on him!!!!
"Saurumon!!! get out!!!! I don't want you to see my..my...my...YOU KNOW!!!!!" Gandalf yelped
Saurumon left right away not wanting to be blinded for life by the sight of him!!!
Killed or let's say tried to kill everything in there way including people. All the squrrels were defeated and gandalf and the other "warriors" had but a few scratches!!!