Thread: How random can you be?
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to the pen(t)house.
Why are some things illegal?
Because they are the things that people enjoy doing the most.
If you were the first on to know the world was going to end...who would you tell first?
The person standing next to me.
What do you do if your dog has been sprayed by a skunk?
If the person you loved most of all in this world jumped off a bridge, would you jump after them?
I don't think so, I'm not too good of a swimmer.
How can one catch a hamster running loose in the house?
By sending for the help of Darth Vader.
Would you still be able to chew if your teeth were made of cheese?
Yup. Only it would have a sticky end.
Why don't giraffes require neck ties?
Because they are more partial the cravats.
How many onions does it take to 'Cry me a River'?
I don't think there are enough onions in this world to serve that purpose.
Why do people cry when watching movies?
Don't get me wrong, I'm one of the crying lot.
Because the movies evoke their emotional sentiments as slowly and steadily connect to the characters concerned in the movies and reach to such an extent that the people watching the movie become able to feel the pain of the concerned characters in the movies and hence end up crying to release their sad emotions which they feel for the characters in the movie.
If you were trying to fail... and succeed in doing so....what have you done?
I accomplished what I set out to do...
Why are cup costers called "costers?"
Because they be expensive and costing munney.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
Then politicans would have to answer all those tricksey questions; they couldn't beg off on the technicality of they're being hypothetical.
Why are there no clouds in the sky outside my window today: like today we've got one of those "The bluest skies you've ever seen in Seattle" skies as I look east across the pond toward Seattle.
bacause the clouds are on strike.
Why do people like to "jump around and actlike a chicken".
Because someone cut their tails off just below their ears.
How far can pigs fly?
As far as they want to. Problem is, they don't seem to want to.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Only for baseball umpires: They're blind in one eye and can't see out the other.
Why can't water crawl uphill?
its to busy running down
why did the duck want a drink?
To put out the fire caused by its mate's homemade chilli.
How many corners are there on a cube?
six corners, 16 edges so 6
if i see what you say is red as what you say is green for my whole life, then would i say red to youre green
nope you would say blue
Why does chicken little say the sky is falling?
Because the thing that bonked him on the noggin didn't come from the ground; else he'd have cried, "Help, help, the Earth is rising!"
If one clicks on one of the "Free Smileys!" ads, does this result in a doubling of one's SPAM?
I'm too afraid to try; SPAM scares me... with all its SPAMiness...
Why do we continually get mail from credit card companies, even though they've been sending it for years and we've never responded?
Because they are people with lots of free time on their hands and a computer with internet connection so their idea of fun is to send off random mail to random person in hope of finding an e-mail correspondent with whom they can spend some of their time in sending random mails to that specific person for a time period.
Is the sky really high or is it just the reflection of the ocean by a huge mirror that envelopes the Earth?
definitly a huge mirror.
why do people yell stop theif instead of that persons a theif, becausee the thief wont listen to stop thief.
Because the rest of what they're going to say is "...I didn't say simon says!"
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
I wouldn't do anything...I don't like Klondike bars...
Have you ever been dared to get drunk?
No, I did it on my own. In retrospect it wasn't that much fun, during or after the fact. Before I turned 21 I seldom got drunk and only then because it was against the rules. I don't think I got drunk more than a couple times in the next twenty years, and in the last twenty years I haven't been drunk; limiting myself to just one or two drinks per evening and that only happens three or four times a year.
Do you use Tobasco Sauce on your food?
What color are your shoes?
One pair's Red and Black and the other one is Black and White.
Why do some things stick?
Van der Waals forces.
[This post has been edited because I sleep too little and type too fast.]
Well, its upto you whether or not you want to believe it.
Why is it always the computer's fault?
Because it can't talk and deny the accusations. Well, not yet anyway.
Would you rather have unlimited knowledge or money?
Neither for both would probably get me in trouble: I'd go mad with the former or become a tyrant with the latter.
How wet is too wet to go fishing?
it depends....if you use a rod to fish a little wet, if you fish 'gollum style' it doesnt matter
how thick is the thin line between genius and insanity and have you crossed it??
There's a line?
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. If you're a surrealist it is already in.
Knock, Knock, Who's There?
Probably some opportunity.
Why do people want to be famous?
Because they haven't yet thought about what it would be like to be hounded every single place they will go in the future.
Does the light go out in the refrigerator when you close the door?
WARNING: Please don't climb in the refrigerater to check this, you might get locked in and die!! Instead, just very slowly crack open the door all the while watching the crack to see if the light comes back on.
I've tried peeking, but I'm not quick enough...
But, why are peanut jars always sealed so tight?
To keep all those Hefalumps and Oliphaunts out, not to mention the Grondy, who also likes peanut butter.
Does your peanut butter stick to the roof of your mouth; does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night; do your ears hang low? If so, you probably need a slice of Be-bop-a-re-bop-a Rhubarb Pie.
I'll have some of that pie...
Why are sponges called "sponges?"
Because "sponges" soundsbetter and more importantly, takes lesser time to say than if they were called "those mushy-mushy-suck-up-liquid stuff"
Why do we die?
You can't say that people don't advance, because in every war they find a new way to kill you!
Why are we born?
That really belonged with my surrealist question, but it's more random here.
Why are we shorn?
I don't know
Would you like fries with that?
Actually, i'd prefer onion rings...
Why is jelly also called 'jam'?
Because the person who invented it was schizophrenic.
How do they fit those ships into those bottles?
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Haven't you heard of test-tube ships?