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The largest ones possible since I would like to buy something out of them too.

Why do cats purr?
Because bark only comes from trees and dogs.

Tell me, where is the nearest Pub?
Just to the left of the main University gate.

What if the Moon shone of its own accord?
Then those astro-nuts who visited it last century would have gotten their booties singed.

Tell me again why I can't go out tonight?
Because the aliens are planning a fly-over tonight during which they will spurt out some chemical that will make your skin and organs translucent so that they can do non invasive studies on how humans work; what they don't know, is that with translucent skin our internal organs are susceptible to sunburn.

Why is there always a power cut just after you set the clock on your VCR?
Well little one: Read Smilie Once upon a time, a long time ago when the world was young and McDonalds, Starbucks, and Walmart had not yet become figments in the eyes of their founders, there was this gentleman named Fransis F. Murphy, who by a fluke of fate was elected to the legislature. There he wrote and sponsored many a bill; however there is only one for which he is now remembered. For this one he gathered a great coallition of like-minded legislators to back it; and low and behold it was passed and one day the executive signed it into law; and to this day it is known as Murphy's Law. Read Smilie And that little one, is why the power is always cut right after you set the clock on your VCR.

Why do clocks always run faster when you are running behind?
So that you can't catch up with the times.

Was music invented or discovered?
Discovered, by a little old lady who used to live near the present site of Stokely on the Lawn ever so long ago.

Did you know the first Rock Band was founded in 1842 by Joseph Richardson, a mason from Keswick, England?
No, I didn't.

Why is split personality a disease?
Just like when we try to serve two masters we get in trouble; so to when one being with multiple personalities trys to do something, they each pull in a different direction causing the being to go off its nut. Same way you can crash a robot's program by giving it conflicting instructions.

How close to the top of a tree can one climb?
Well, I've climbed all the way to the top of a cherry tree, higher than the roof my friend's house.
Have you ever seen a sting ray in the wild?
Nope. Only in aquariums.

Why are weeds considered to be bad?
Because they are growing in the wrong place, often to the detriment of the indigemous or cultivated plants. Some weeds are called noxious, because their rate of growth is so rapid that they grow everywhere and can take over from everything, when not controlled. Kudzu in the Southeastern United States and to a lesser extent, Morning-glory in my home state of Washington.

Why do two or more people see different things in the same cloud formation?
Because they see what they want to see and since people have different notions of what they want, they see different things.

Why does a crow crows while a cat meaows?
Because it would just be weird if a crow meowed and a cat crowed.
If you question was hitting at the fact that the crow is a kind of onomatopoeia. Then the answer would include that word "crow" has a long vowel sound, while the word "cat" has a very sort vowel sound. The only animal sound that I can think of that doesn't have the rule of the long vowel sound is the ribbit.
Perhaps we should rename cats to be meows. And frogs to be ribbits...but then people would get them confused with rabbits. So rabbits would have to be renamed....

But what sound do rabbits make?


They mostly make sniffy sounds, but sometimes they make little soft squeeks... maybe we should call them sniffeeks? Orc Grinning Smilie If we're renaming cats then we have to rename dogs too.

How did cockroaches survive the atomic bomb?
They thrive on radiation, converting it to useable energy and those little paper parrasols one often finds in their fancy drinks.

Why is it when I ask them to come here and do that, they go someplace else and do something other?
Because they are idiots, that's why!

Why don't things go to plan?
becaue most plans arent thought of that well

Would the world be a happier place if every postman wore a clown outfit???
No way! I think there would be more postmen attacked by dogs, and more people scared to go outside of their houses.

What is the story of love?
Quote:
You've got to give a little, take a little,
and let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

If you add three toothpicks to a pocket full of rye, what do you get?
I guess three toothpicks in a pocket full of rye.

Why are people more afraid of the dark?
i suppose that people are wary of things that they cannot see, and when you are in the dark, you cannot see, except not that many people have the fear of God in them???

Why did the leaders of the Gloucester Cathedral give permission to film Harry Potter (the dude who practices witchcraft and wizardry) inside the Cathedral???
Perhaps the memo regarding the true nature of the film was lost on someone's desk, and the church authorities thought it was a movie simply about an impetuous young man with glasses.


Why are male goats referred to as billy-goats? Why not call them charles-goats, or fred, or maybe even maxwells?
Well, once upon a time when the world was much younger, there was this animal breeder named Grandpa Euclid. He developed the breed of animals called goats that has come down to us even unto this day. In honor of him all males of the species were called euclid-goats. Now a few decades later, his grandson became the world renowned mathematical theorist who became the Father of Geometry. One day while he was visiting his grandfather, one of these male goats, who everyone knows are want to eat anything, got loose and gobbled up all of Euclid's triangles, rectangles, trapazoids, rhomboids, squares, parallelograms, and circles. When Euclid noticed this he shouted, "OH BILLY-HELL!!!" and from that day to this all male goats have been called billy goats. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking with it!

Now tell me, did you like my story or should I have stood in bed?
hmmm it doesnt make much sense, so ill go with 'shouldve stood on bed' sorry Big Smile Smilie

Where did the term 'Balderdash and Piffle' come from???
Balderdash is derived from the Greek words balderi which means bald and daccio which means to dash. The word first came about during the first Olympic Games in Athens: a spectator was watching the 100m dash when a gust of wind blew off his wig, in an adrendaline rush of embarrassment, he ran after the wig and beat the athletes to the finish line.
Piffle is a word that was secretly added to Webster's dictionary for the sole purpose of using it in a certain boardgame which was running out of real words. It therefore, doesn't have a real meaning.

Grondy, I loved your story, if it's any consolation. Elk Grinning Smilie "BILLY-HELL!" Big Laugh Smilie

We need a goat icon...

Why is there a tooth mouse and a tooth fairy - surely there should only be one; and which one came first? Elf Confused Smilie
well, i think its obvious that the tooth fairy came first. the tooth mouse (although i have never heard of it) was just made to confuse the little children because it is immensly fun to confuse people. or the tooth mouse was made to scare off the mothers (hee hee hee)

Why dosent Harry Potter just take out a gun and shoot Voldemort, that would definately take care of the problem?
Because 'He Who Must Not Be Named' never comes to the USA and Harry, being a law abiding citizen living in England, doesn't have access to handguns—automatics store their bullets in a clip and revolvers store them in a revolving cylinder and I wish mystery book and screen writers knew the difference—and long-guns (rifles and shotguns) need be registered. Thus Harry, being underage can't get there from here without violating a muggle law.

Besides that, Snape will do that deed: After protecting Draco's life as he promised to Mrs. M.; Snape will do in the Dark Lord slipping him a particularly putrid poisoned potion in recompense for causing Snape to violate Dumbledore's trust; thus saving Harry's life for the final time. However, in remorse for doing in his old boss Dumbledy-Door, Snape will then take a pull at his potent poison potion and join his nemisises James and Sirius, who will then be in Snape's debt, so he believes, for saving Harry from spending the rest of his life in prison for murder. Ron will marry Hermoine; Harry will marry Ginny; Hagrid will marry Madame Maxime; the reformed Droco will marry Lovely Luna; and the final chapter of the final book will end with Mom and Pop Weasley inheriting the Earth. Elf Winking Smilie

So how do you think book seven will end?
Hey Elrose...

"next knows Tenaciuos D? "

Yup, sure have! Jack Black....

Rude, crude, but pretty funny stuff!
Moderator Smilie Huh???
Er... Ignore me, Grondmaster!

I had entered Thread.... Thought I'd already gone to the last page... Turns out I hadn't! I was 'replying' to the last post on first page I

Apologies. Ignore & continue from last....

Book 7 will end...

Harry will awake, from the dream that it all was, to find that he is a typical spotty teenager - having a marvelous imagination & decides to write the books! (Sorry, crap - but you put me on the spot... Anyone else have a more imaginative idea?)
okay here goes ill try (and guys, ive never read a harry potter book in my life and the info that i do know is from friends telling me, so correct me if this has already happened Big Smile Smilie)

The seventh will start with an advance in years when HP has become Hogwarts headmaster and then go back to the build up to it, the blonde dude (cant remember his name) will side with the evil wizard man who keeps trying to kill HP and his crazy friends and they will try to kill them once again, but because the blonde dude and the evil wizard man have teamed up and HP and his crazy friends cant defeat them, then suddenly........ HP's parents rush to the scene and they are not dead, they are alive, you see it was all a cover up they dissapeared as the evil wizard dude used the wrong spell to kill them and it sent them to a virtual world and they have been fighting for what seemed like lifetimes to get free of this virtual world, and they kill the blonde dude and the evil wizard man and live happily ever after, oh and HP saves the girls life (the girl hes always with) and they get married and she becomes a powerful witch lady and they have lotsa Harry Potter kids with scars on thier head and all their names ryhme with Harry eg. Barry, Gary, Larry..........

Elf With a Big Grin Smilie The End Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

Did you laugh at my story???
lol. wow that would be sad.

i think i heard the ending some where. harry loses his scar. just to say i'm a huge fan of Hp. (the books any way) i still can't beleive she killed dumbledore. i swear i went into depression. i still dunt think snape is evil. dumbledore always said that death was just the beginning of a journey, why then would he plead for his life? what if he was pleading for snape to kill him? in the middle of the book, he and snape had got into a fight, snape was saying he didn't want to do it any more. what was it? working with the dark lord perhaps?

we'll see we'll see....

meh........ i like my version Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

you need to post a question..........
lol...ri...um...

what would you do if somebody you thought to be dead suddenly came back in your life?
If somebody i thought dead would get alive,i'd probably petrify from my fear and faint! Shocked Smilie After that,I will want to know how, when or why he/she came alive and i would write a book with everything i heard about it.Now time for my questionsuppose your ship shinks in a very remote island and you can choose 3 thinks to have with you ecxept for a boat!Which would they be? Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
except for a boat, hmm...

A raft, a paddle and a fancy new sun hat! Wiggle Smilie

Seeing as I cheated, just a little... & it would be interesting to know - same question as above but, more specifically - choices not to include ANY type of person-sized vessel or swimming aid !

Wiggle Smilie

*Winks @ Νinerl
The boxed set of The Hobbit and LotR; an endless diversified supply of healthy food and drink; and a large insect repellent tent with a fly (for sleeping and shade). Happy Elf Smilie

However, in this modern day and age a satellite radio-telephone, a global positioning device, and fresh batteries for both. Elf Winking Smilie

Can you stand on your hands without crouching?
And why would anyone in their right minds want to do that?
dunno...but there are strange people in the world. (inoe this is random but i just want to say the sunset is real pretty right now.)

can you look at a random object and make a whole story out of it?
Yes, but I can't guarantee the story will be very good.

Tubby: Please add [ /b] to the end of your bold highlighted text. When you forget; I have to edit your posts to do it for you. Thanks Happy Elf Smilie

Why do most politicians make life harder for the little people instead of representing them? Is it just the 'Golden Rule': "Them that has the gold, makes the rules".
lol. good question. it definatly seems so. (grr...Smile Smilie)



Is a dream just a twisted form of reality?

No, I believe a dream is just random firings of neurons in the brain. Some times they recall memories, sometimes they create strange impossibilities. Most of the time you get a combo.

Grondy...you know if you are the one to post right after someone who forgets to close a tag; you can do it for them; just at the beginning of your post, the first thing you can put would be [ /B ]. That might be easier than editing his post, but if you are looking for more work to do there is about 20 unclosed quote tags that need closing in the Quote Game Thread. Here is one. There is actually one inside another here. I guess 20 is an exaggeration; I only found 3. I think unclosed quote tags are the most distracting. Should I demonstrate?

Who thought up HTML?
Quote:
Moderator Smilie No, you needen't bother.
Grondy was here.
I didn't see any, on those pages so either someone cleaned them up or one of us is mistaken. Give me the poster's name and date of the errant post.

Tim Berners-Lee probably invented the World Wide Web and HTML.

What is randomness anyway?
Quote:
1. Having no specific pattern, purpose, or objective: random movements.

2. Mathematics & Statistics: Of or relating to a type of circumstance or event that is described by a probability distribution.

3. Of or relating to an event in which all outcomes are equally likely, as in the testing of a blood sample for the presence of a substance.

Despite the negative connotations jargon uses of this term have, it is worth noting that randomness can actually be a valuable resource, very useful for applications in cryptography and elsewhere. Computers are so thoroughly deterministic that they have a hard time generating
high-quality randomess
.

randomness
n 1: (thermodynamics) a thermodynamic quantity representing the
amount of energy in a system that is no longer available
for doing mechanical work; "entropy increases as matter
and energy in the universe degrade to an ultimate state
of inert uniformity" [syn: entropy, S]

2: the quality of lacking any predictable order or plan


Apparently... Randomness has an important place in science and philosophy Wiggle Smilie

Well... There are the definitions but in my own opinion I believe that 'randomness' is what makes us Human!

What computer or other device do you know of that can close its eyes, wave its finger about in an amusing fashion, then say... "THAT ONE!!" Big Laugh Smilie

Hee hee

Question...

What, in your opinion (apart from thumbs) seperates us from monkeys?
Most monkeys have tails, but they don't have access to ATM cards. Oook!!!

Now then: What, in your opinion (apart from thumbs) separates us from chimpanzees Question Smilie

Okay, so it wasn't very random, but I did add a twist. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
ways of communication... ??? ...



what do u like best about lotr?
Wow! what do i not like about lotr?? I love everything about it. The story is so rich and beautiful and full of meaning and depth, as well as the characters and the descriptive style of writing. It feels so real to me, yet fantastical and surreal at the same time.

Mostly, I think I love how it makes you feel like you're a part of the story, a part of middle earth (I can picture myself being there) - and just about anyone can relate to it in some way (If they give it a chance).

Which character in lotr do you relate to best and why?
Probably Gandalf, as i am a deep thinking, it does take me ages to make a decision, in fact i think so deeply that i end up not doing stuff as i think too much about it Orc Smiling Smilie but when i do make decisions i have good reason to act upon it as Gandalf does

Why do you think that most people are obsessed with the unknown???
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