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Thread: How random can you be?

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Bottom of Page    Message Board > The Ivy Bush > How random can you be?   << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] >>
Possibly yes, possibly no, undoubtedly maybe.

Where did you get those shoes, off a color-blind lumberjack?
No, it was actually a fisherman wearing 3-D glasses. He did have a mustache, though.
If what was becomes what is, but that can never be, then why does the hive continue to produce gasoline instead of honey?
(Stop thinking so hard! This isn't a political statement... Or is it?)
That's because the fisherman wore 3D glasses instead of the usual 2D glasses which offered him a glimpse of what might have been.

Why do some people making themselves pass for victims when they are not?
Because it is often easier to feel sorry for oneself than to pull oneself up by their own boot-straps; especially if they don't own any boots. "I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes—until I met a man who had no feet." Ancient Proverb

Now then! Now then! What's all this? And where are you going with it? What ever it is?
Its a handbasket that is taking me somewhere! And I don't think I like the way we are headed...

She was not quite what you would call refined.
She was not quite what you would call unrefined.
She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.
_ Mark Twain
Who was she?
I'm afraid to tell you that she's a half pirate having a pirate mother and a maid father.

The constitution is the Supreme law, and if any other law is inconsistent with this constitution, that other law shall to the extent of the inconsistency be void
"The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people." - The Tenth Amendment to said Constitution.

Finders keepers; losers weepers.

To the winner go the spoils.

"It's all nuts and bolts: if the rider's nuts, the horse bolts." -my daughter's tagline
If you can't ride a horse you will get thrown down and will also loose a hall in the process.

Your email account will be activated two working weeks after registration
We assigned you an account number six months ago, if you haven't activated and started using it by the end of the week, we will be forced to close it.


How come banks only want to loan money to people who don't need it?
Because people who have money are so stupid that they do not realise how much interest they are going to pay!

Why is everyone equal but some more equal than others?
The Soul of this is from animal farm
Because in every society, the bullies will always rise in power over the weak.

Can you see what I see?
Aye, i could see that you had forgotten to close the bold tag. Orc Grinning Smilie Elk Grinning Smilie

Can you imagine why they always live happily ever after?
Aye yup! I forgot to add the slash and then I forgot to look at the finished product. Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie

The reason, as I see it, is that everytime the happily married couple couple came to a fork in the road, instead of taking it, they left it laying there.

Always on the forefront of pirate fashion, Captain Hook tries putting in his contact lenses for the first time.....thus starting the new pirate fad of the eye patch. "Arrrrgggg.....Aieeeeeee!" Elf With a Big Grin Smilie - lifted from a comic strip in today's paper.
Oh, Ouch! So that's where pirates got the expression "Aarrgh!" and why they began the annual 'Talk like a Pirate Day"!

Engine, engine number nine
Running down Chicago line.
If the train runs off the track
Will I get my money back?
Why were fire engines previously painted red, instead of the current yellow?
I don't know as the lorries are still red in my country! Elk Grinning Smilie Elk Grinning Smilie

Why are scientists bent on destroying the earth?

You forgot to close bold above too Orc Grinning Smilie
Because it is human nature to do what we can do, because we can.

Do Dwarves mine for treakle, or is it just found in treakle wells.

No, I had closed mine, it was Sian's and I have now edited her's to close it. I have been using a text size which blurrs the distinction between bold and normal text, to my eyes at least, so I don't always see this problem. So please continue reporting them when you find them; but don't bother looking for them in no longer active threads, because it takes a bunch of time consuming work to find the actual discrepancy in each thread.
It is found in treacle wells, and that too wells from the Blue Mounatains only.

Why does the government tax bank interest although it already comes from income taxed money?
I guess because it's the government and can do as it pleases..

Why have the grasshoppers eaten my petunias?

Sorry about forgetting to turn off the bold script, Grond!
It's because you have probably never heard of pest control methods! Elk Grinning Smilie Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

Do you know what a Dingo is where you can find one?
Dingos are Austrailian wild dogs; though some have been domesticated.

Where did I put my keys this time?
Google it and you'll get the answer!

Why should you rinse your feet if you're feeling hot and not your head?
Because their smell is killing us.

If you don't succeed the third time, why bother?
Exactly, another form of madness is trying the same thing every time and expecting different results!

Why are cats said to resemble women?
Because they are protective of their territory; they have hissy-fits, and they scratch when they fight?

Why can't I have one? All the other kids have one.
You can't have one as you've been naughty for the whole year and anyway you did not say that you wanted that in your letter to Father Christmas.

Why does this message appear every time you want to view something interesting: "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Sportfive "?
Could it possibly be because you are visiting sites that contain pirated video?

When should you refresh a webpage?
Could it possibly be because you are visiting sites that contain pirated video?

When should you refresh a webpage?
Actually I was on youtube and I don't really know if its legal or not!

You need to refresh the webpage if you think the data on it is outdated or if you have nothing else to do.

Why should you do regular exercises?
wild animals will be less inclined to desire you in a "Wild thang" type of way

Why did Hilary Clinton make a deal with the devil?
She did that because she was a great lover of nature and in this way asked the devil to plant some plants and flowers in hell.

Why do they always live happily ever after?
They don't always; sometimes they come to a fork in the road and take it. Or I've also heard the addition of '...until they came to an iron bridge.'

Can you scale tallest mountains during the height of winter?
I could probably look at the thing for a while and get out of breath that way Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie I would prefer that than losing breath at ridiculously cold heights and having to eat snow to survive... Only to die of ruptured lungs being filled with your own blood from drinking the fluffly white stuff... (Of course I got that from a movie called Vertical Limit Orc Smiling Smilie )... You could try it though, don't take my word for it Happy Elf Smilie... But no, I'll prefer to watch the snow and mountains Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

Do you think that the Large Hadron Collider (end of the world 'big bang' experiment') was/is a big waste of time and money and both variables could be put to better use?
Indeed it is a big waste of money and if you tell them that they'll either ignore you or switch to another more wasteful project.

Why did Stevie Wonder just call to say I love you?
Because it was the same as being face to face for him.



Around what age do you find dirty jokes funny and what age are they old?
I found them funny when i just got into college that is when I was about 12-13 and found them stale by the time I was doing my SC.

What's funny in a so called dirty-joke anyway?
Not much; and as we can't discuss them without using examples, (which are against this forums rules) we had best change the subject. Moderator Smilie

What is the maximum altitiude an air breathing airplane can fly, that is without resorting to rocket engines?
I don't really know. I'll guess about 10,000 feet.

Why would anyone want to read the Hobbit?
To get to the other side.

When will Friday the Thirteenth fall again on a Friday?
Um, let me consult my calendar (adjusts reading glasses): in 2009, February and March.

How do you solve a mystery?
You post it to Churchill who will read it and then will send you the answer which will be something like "its a riddle inside a mystery wrapped in an enigma."

How do you go back to the past?
One can only go back in time with a time machine. According to today's known physics, we can't go forward in time, but only back before the time when each time machine was manufactured.

If the above is true, in what year was Dr. Who's TARDIS invented?
No one know's when Dr Who's TARDIS was invented as he went back so often in time that he himself forgot when he invented it. Though many people have tried to date the invention Dr Who has always told them they were wrong!

Do you think you could cross a flooded bridge?
If I was wearing a life vest and firmly attached to a cable running between the two sides; else I'd rather keep my feet dry, Wiggle Smilie

Where do you watch football?
I don't watch it in a pub, nor in a bar, nor at my friend's place, nor at a social hall, in fact I watch it at home provided the matches are being broadcast!

Do you thing football is being ruined by too much money injection?
no, its been ruined by egos.

When will we teach trained monkeys to fire small arms weaponry? After all i know how.
This will be done when lunatics who walk about with guns will be arrested, beaten and jailed for being a threat to society and promoting these dangerous things.

Do you know what Angkor Wat is?
A temple complex located in Cambodia?

Where is the shortest building on earth?
You're right Grondy

The shortest building on earth is found at Oxford and is a hobbit hole.

Why was Mr Toad so addicted to motor vehicles?
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