Login | Register
 
Message Board | Latest Posts | Your Recent Posts | Rules

Thread: World's Worst

Is this discussion interesting? Share it on Twitter!

Bottom of Page    Message Board > The Ivy Bush > World's Worst   << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] >>
Er... Should I have gone with the 'Movie Goer' !!?

Ok....

"OOoo, ooo, ooo - I want to sit right in the middle..... excuse me, coming through - er, sorry, oops was that your foot? ... Sorry.... excuse me... Oh sorry about that, but - some extra popcorn for ya there, eh!? Ha ha .... Is this seat taken? Ok..... "

(Five minutes later....)

"OOoooo - I like this bit this is where she asks 'Who's there' .... Aaaaagh!! Cor - that was scary.... Did that scare you, neighbour? Wow!! Look at those effects, yanno - They use ketchup for that, I have a friend who is a famous actor.... OH!! What did I miss - WHAT DID I MISS?!?......"

"Hey - I've seen this movie 3 times already!!! This is the bit where...."

At that point you would probably see a flying bottle, ball of rubbish or maybe even a shoe(!) landing on said Movie Goers head!!

Ok - Next!! Smile Smilie

Worlds worst er..... clown !
and now to Baghdad with..........................


worlds worst juggler
If we are supposed to keep our political views silent on this site then it includes this thread also, regardless of how amusing you preceive your opinion to be. I mean no offence but I am tired of people trying to sneak their views into this site.
Worst juggler
Okay folks, prepared to be astounded, I shall light these Gasoline soaked torches and JUGGLE them. *sonic boom* Here we go folks! Sorry about that...Whoa! Oops, sorry miss, the hairspray helped it to ignite...
World's worst driver
look a fish.............................
stoney that wasnt a political view, i was just saying that newscasters would make awful clowns,have you ever thought one was funny?

worlds worst bystander at a murder site
Got it, mate. Didn't mean to seem angry on that last post. Wink Smilie I was having a bad day.

"What? Why that guy sure looks dead. What's that red stuff?"

World's worst weatherman.
And een Chileos Americanos ze weather today in ze north will be "Scorchio", ze eastern peninsula; "Scorchio!", to ze western sierras; "Scorchio!", in our bootifull central belt - "Scorchio!" and een ze South East outside ze London village, a light drizzle...

Worlds worst Weapon of Mass Destruction

Oooooh might be construed as "political" but hey whatever. Police Smilie
Running, screaming, people: Run for yer lives! Barney the Hideous Purple Dinosaur has grown to a huge size, and he wants revenge!!!!!!! No, wait, that probably be the world's most effective weapon of mass destruction, and it would *snicker* look like this: Barney, toting an AK47, that shoots out little thingies that make you like Barney, and turn your eyes purple, so that you may always gaze upon him. An army of toddlers and really, really old people follow, all holding slingshots that throw little Barneys at you. AHH!!!!!!!! Die Barney DIE!!!!!!!!

Oh, and umm... World's Worst Dictator
"Ok folks, you just do what ever. I'm gonna sit here and play PS2 games."

World's Worst writer.
I don't know the World's Worst writer; however, the World's Worst poet was Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England. I know this to be true because I read it in a book.

World's Worst candy bar?
ummmmmmmmmmm table flavored

no problem stoney,i probably shouldnt have typed that but i didnt think it would be taken as "political"at the time.

worlds worst.............landschnekt(medieval German mercinary)
ok that one was a little unworkable ignore the one about the landsnekt



worlds worst minion?


Rubi he is as much use as one of the stooges hahahahaha
World's worst IT technician.
"Er... try format drive C....."

World's Worst Pizza Delivery Person (I hope we haven't had that already)/
Let's see... that was one, large peanut butter with tuna pizza...right? No? well it has your address on it, so pay up!

Worlds worst hair dresser.
"Well, it is a lot shorter than you asked for. The color didn't quite work out either. Your hair is just horrible. That will be two hundred dollars please, and don't forget the tip."

World's worst aerobics instructor.
"One....and...Two...and........dang.............do you feel tired? I feel tired. I think I'll take a little break.."

World's Worst plumber.
*banging his wrench on a helpless pipe* This dumb screw won't tight- *the pipe cracks and blows up the house, it was a gas pipe* Um, whoops... *runs to the demolished door* I uh, just a emergency call from my mother, she needs me to, err, clip ehr toenails, yeah, I just mail ya the bill...

World's Worst Teacher (I bet this one's already been done...)


"In today's lesson in Good Auto Shop Practices we are going to ensure that our car's gas tank is empty before we remove it. First we remove the filler cap. Next we drop a lighted match down the filler spout, thusly" ... Exploding Head Smilie

WARNING: Do NOT try this at home. It is very dangerous and will result in loss of life and limb as well as property.

World's Worst Racecar Driver
Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Oh. What is that smoke. Hmmmmm. CRASH!!!!! Ow. I will use the fire to toast marshmallows. Oh look. I should've been looking at the road. Track. Whatever. Now I have broken the ninth car in a row. Hahahahahahaha. *faints, then does it again. And again. And again.

World's Worst website creator
Bill Gates or Microsoft? Elk Grinning Smilie

Anybody got any better (or worse) ideas for worst website creator? Tell us if you do, or please start us off with another new World's Worst of Whatever subject.
(For World's worst website creator)
HTML??? What's that? Aah........Hard To Mug Language, eh? Is that its full form?

World's worst VideoGamer.
"Hey! Cool!!...Watch everyone! When I push this button that little man runs around on the TV!

World's Worst skateboarder
"Now how do I ride this thing without a steering wheel or a seat?"

World's worst boat rower.
"But I have to face forward: like I can't see where I'm going when I face the rear."

World's Worst harmonica player?
"Ack! My gum is stuck in these little holes! Heelllp!!"

World's Worst guitar player
"When the bard notched his arrow, drew back the 'E' string, aimed at the Sheriff of Nottingham, and let fly; the string broke. Its whiplash removed three fingers from his left hand."

World's Worst Chef
"A little of this, a little of that... Oh! That's fuzzy, prolly make somebody's tummy warm... Mm... come hither, taste this Fido! Yes, you dumb mutt, just shove your head in the pot. Not, it does not matter if you lick it. Why are you hacking? What, no, no, Fido! Don't die in the pot, you weren't supposed to go in until AFTER the mice I found outisde the door this morning... Umm... Order up!!!"

World's Worst Ghost...


"Dang! I am not invisible, I am not scary, and I can't pass through walls!"

World's Worst checker player.
"Oh Goody! I get to crown another of your kings! "

Worlds Worst Mumbly-Peg Player.
EXPLAIN THIS MUMBLY-PEG.....................


WORLDS WORST GRIM REAPER
My pet rock.

Please refrain from shouting your posts (using all capitol letters) the occasional shout is acceptable, but all the time is considered rude. Moderator Smilie

(WARNING: Mumbly-Peg is a dangerous game played with a pocket knife with an extended blade on each end; where you sit in the grass and take turns doing certain tricks trying to stick a blade in the ground rather than in your self or your competion. We used to play it at school in the fifties before it was ruled too dangerous. This was long before pocket knives were considered weapons and outlawed from schools, court houses, and airplanes.) Shaking Head Smilie

World's Worst Magician
I'm sorry! The show today will be cancelled because I seem to have misplaced my magic book!

World's Worst Hangman!
And I, I do what! I don't want to knock the barrel over; then he'll die! No, I don't want to kill him! What do ya mean, this is what I applied for? I never wanted to kill people, I thought I was applying for the mouse at Chuckie Cheese....

World's Worst Lawyer


Addleshaw Goddard?

Wiggle Smilie

World's worst plastic surgeon.
See Michael (Jackson) I told you I did the best nose-jobs on the west coast!

Worlds Worst trail guide.
"Hmmmmm, let's see...the moss is on the north side of the tree. So I think that means we should go down this path----is there any trail-mix left?"

World's Worst deep sea diver.

...Is that a mermaid? Now what did I do with that dang old pressure gage? Is that Spanish gold? What weird animal is that? Where did I put that flashlight? Oh, there it is...now to check my oxygen...what? Only three minutes left!

World's Worst Nextdoor Neighbor?
I hope you like Micheal Bolton!

World's Worst Priest...
In a confessional.....
Person1: Forgive me father for I have sinned it has been 2 years since my last confession.....
Priest: What! That LONG! you'd better come more often unless you want to suffer eternally in hell!
Person1: uhhh....yes father....
Priest: continue.
Person1: I have sinned because I...=mumble,mumble-
Priest: You did WHAT?!? GET OUT OF HERE!!! God hates sinners!!!! You can never go to heaven! =chases Person1 out of confessional= Never come back unless you become Mother Theresa or the Pope of Rome!!!!!

World's Worst Punk Rocker Big Smile Smilie
Do Re Mi Fa SO La Ti Da!!!!
-Okay, now sing the real song.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty,
with my blonde and brown hair, so ahhh,
my lovely red nails, and gogo boots
my tights and my kite and so-ahh-
-Shut it! How the heck did you become a punk rocker?
My mom thinks I'm cool...

World's Worst Coroner (or is that too gross?)


Now, what do we have here? Let's see.... OMG! This guy is... dead!! Ewwww! Get him away from me!! Get him away from me!! Oh... oh... I think I'm gonna be sick.... Mommy! *faints*

Wolds worst dog walker.
...................Em........Where's the dog?......Well......I kind of lost him.......

World's Worst grave digger.


But I think burying them standing up with the top of their heads sticking out of the ground has an esthetic look to it.

Works Worst Typist.
wOrld"S worsT ttypist?/ Iguesss thAt wOULd havE to b me. wHaT do YpoU thiink???

World's Worst fast food cook.

Huh? A Burger with French fries? right! Hey Mac!! Can u give me that cookery book from the shelf? I can't remember wether the burgers are that roated thingy with some stuff on them or the one with that patty thingy shoved in between two blobs of bread.

World's Worst Psychiatrist!
Jump! Jump! Jump! he chants to his patient.

Worlds worst school teacher.
Student: Why should we distribute the 'x'?

Teacher: Look it up.

Student: But it's not in the book.

Teacher: Ha! Good luck.

World's worst sales clerk
NO!!! You can't buy THAT!!!! That's MINE!!! MY PRECIOUS!!!!

World's worst student
  << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] >>