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Thread: World's Worst

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Bottom of Page    Message Board > The Ivy Bush > World's Worst   << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] >>
Hey, you can't move the tower. Duh, it's like very huge and made of stone! You are like, SO bad at this game. Let me go first and I can show you how it's done. Now, where are the dices?

Worlds worst car washer.
Ok. Mister! You asked for a car wash with shampoo and wax. Well, I didn't shampoo it because I didn't see any hair, I didn't wax it becase I didn't see any legs and as for washing, I pshed your car into the lake for the "atomatic" washing. You can pick it up from there later.

World's Worst Architect!
"Well, I got me a hammer and some nails. What else do I need? Plans? Heck no! I'm gonna build this house all by myself!"

World's Worst eye doctor.

"Your eyes are really bad. Let me take them off your head."

World's Worst Priest
"Don't worry, you're going to Hell anyway, just go do whatever you want, especially the illegal stuff. Whaddya mean the Ten Commandments? More like the Ten Rules That Should Be Broken! Go! Sin some more, my child! You're not blessed!"

World's Worst Conversationalist.
"Hi!"
"Yes."
"No."
"Sometimes."
"Nope."
"Sure."
"Maybe."
"Gotta run, bye."

World's Worst Secret Agent
"Hey everybody! I'm the secret agent who's supposed to kill you guys. Say why are pointing that gun at me like that? Are you going to shoot -"

World's Worst bounty hunter
The world's worst bounty hunter is lying dead across the horse of the outlaw he was trying to capture.

World's Worst recording artist.

"I sure hope my new polka song, Mary Had a Little Lamb, makes it big!"

World's Worst Taxi Driver.
Ever see Robert DeNiro's version of the cabby?

World's Worst Dental Hygenist
"Okay now we are going to take ot the bad tooth and the other teeth in its proximity so that the infection doesn't spread!"

World's worst teacher!
"2+1= chair..." oh my god they're actually writing this down!

World's Worst Smelly Person
"I wil now bathe myself in antibacterial chemicals that leave me smelling nice and fresh."

World's Worst Dietitan (that is how you spell it right?)
Hmmm, now lets make sure you wrote it down correctly: 2 donuts for breakfast, washed down briskly by your favorite cola; candy bars and soda for lunch; then a large helping of waffles and syrup with lots of bacon on the side for supper. Any questions?

World's Worse (Department Store) Santa Clause.
*kids walk up to santa. santa pulls out a shotgun and aims at them*
"You kids just keep on walking."

World's Worst Radio announcer
Thump, thump, thump. "Hey, is this thing on? I can't tell if I'm on the air!.....What are you waving your arms about for Jim?"

World's Worst North Pole elf.

As the presents go by for inspection, an elf steals them. (lame i know, best i could come up with)

World's Worst gymnast
"And now...for my special double cartwheel! This one really wows the judges."

World's Worst Christmas Card.
"Dear Sir or Madam, in your time of loss this season please know that the thoughts of the entire Stitch and Preserve funeral home are with you."

World's Worst househeeper.
Just sweep that pile of dirt under the rug, dear. When finished we'll have a nice topographical map of the world!


Worlds Worst first date. Thumbs Down Smilie
A date to a septic tank storage facility or an abattoir (that is how you spell it right?)

World's Worst church acolyte
dude walking into church with a beer in one hand, a "smoke" in the other. Don't forget the blue, Mohawk!

Worlds Worst... POst <--- yep try to top my crappy post... i dare ya
huh?

World's worst Emcee!
Yo...yo...Uh, what was I saying?

World's Worst Couture-Fashion Designer
The trash bag is in, love. The trash bag is in. Just spray this Channel symbol on with this gold spray paint, and we'll be all set.

World's Worst 9-1-1 operator.
Hold please...

World's worst librarian.
"Lord of the Rings?! That's not a book! That's a movie!"

World's Worst Ice cream man...
Oh dear, this looks a tad frozen.

world's worst plumber *blocks nose*
"I think this would take about seven months to fix."

Worlds worst teacher
No homework for today, and you all passed.

Worlds worst sumo-wrestler
"Im on a diet."

Worlds worst parents
Play with matches, do drugs, smoke, cheat, lie, and steal. (or is that best parents? such a close line...)

World's Worst bully
"Oh my... Im SOOOO sorry, did I hit you? Here take my money for the trouble... agin, sorry"

World worst baker
"Try new flour free dough, found only here!"

worlds worst computer geek
"Eek! There's a mouse by my computer!"

Worlds worst comedian
ummmm... *very touchy subject*... *cough...*

worlds worst horse trainer
"Good Doggy! Sit! Come on, SIT! SIT! SIT! Stupid dog!"

Worlds Worst Coach
No don't worry about training, you go home and don't lift a finger. Sleep, eat, sleep eat. I'll see you in a few weeks for the race trials!

Worlds worst landscape gardener
The broken-down car in the middle of your yard looks great! The redneck look is in. Oh, and the weeds, the weeds are actually a plant that grows like wild fire in East Africa; I thought it would be a nice addition to our local species.

World's Worst Mountain Climber.
*if I don't look down everything will be okay....don't look down....don't look down*


World's Worst Band Teacher
HONK! HONK! beuatiful..

Worlds worst shop assisstant
Uh.. I just done my nails, why dont you shop that. What?... yeah I know it get paid for this but halllooooooo... my nails!"

worlds worst witch
I wish myself into a vision of beauty 1,2,3 POOF POW BANG (big haze of blue smoke) ...................

woof woof grrrrgh Puppy Smilie

Worlds worst plumber
Oh Shucks, it still won't drain uphill; and I just licked my fingers. Yuck! Dead Smilie
Grondy...what "worst" thing would you like us to discuss? Smile Smilie
Oops! Sorry about that; and speaking of absent mindedness:

Worlds Worst Absent-Minded Professor
"Robert, Hmmm...I'll call you Bob.
James, well, I'll call you Jim.
And Frederick, well, of course you'll be Fred.
Christine...Christine? How about I just shorten it to Christ?"
(This really happened to a friend of mine! She was like, "What?!" The professor was totally serious...didn't have a clue.)

World's Worst Archeologist.
Dinosaur?

worlds worst olympian
I win! I win! Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

World's Worst Pet Groomer
This week's special is poodle-cuts on cats. Very Evil Smilie


World's Worst Tee-shirt Slogan
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