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Thread: World's Worst

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Bottom of Page    Message Board > The Ivy Bush > World's Worst   << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] >>
"A speech? But i don't want to talk to them! I am not doing it!"

World's Worst farmer.
Y am I so unsuccessful at the chicken crop? Am I planting the chickens too deep or too close?

World's worst skydiver!

HEADLINES: Skydiver nearly kills himself!
Skydiver(xtremely thick) interview:
Question: why did u open the parachute so late ?
answer : the parachute handbook says 'Count till hundred before releasing the parachute' Orc Going Huh Smilie

World's worst LOTR fan !
Tolkien wasn't very true to the films, was he?


World's worst...

babysitter
"What kids?"

World's Worst hangman.
life is precious and we should forgive people for their wrongs no matter how serious..............hey whats this loop for?............................gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!


worlds worst mechanic
(from under a car)
OK, you can remove the jacks now..

World's worst Superhero
"Up,up and-oh,forget it.I'm just sick of doing things for everyone else.Save yourselves!Do your own dirty work!You think my whole life revolves around you helpless idiots?-starts crying-"It's time for me to start thinking about me!Where's my mansion?Where's my stock in Starbucks?Maybe I'll buy a sportscar..." world's worst librarian.
"Don't like this one. I'll just throw it out. *does so* Hmmm, this one's good. I'll put it in a glass case so no one but me can look at it. Hmmm, good one. Another fgor the glass case. Bad one. Another for the tip. *sees hot guy* What's your phone number? Here's a pen. Where's paper? Oh, this book will do *ripping noises* Hey, where'd he go? What do you mean, I shouldn't rip book's pages out? What was wrong with her? You lilke that book? Okay, here's the page I ripped out from it. But you don't like the picture on the cover? Oh. Okay, I'll just rip all the pages out, and you can have those. *rip, rip, rip, rip, rip*
World's worst video-game player
My ex-girlfirend... for example:

ME: "No, not that button, remember when i said stay behind my guy and shoot your zappy thingeys at the bad guys"
HER: "Oooops"
ME: "*sighs* You killed me again, i sense a pattern forming"

World's Worst Cleric, Priest, Rabbi, Imam, Monk, Druid (choose according to faith/creed or lack thereof)
Priest...

"Ha! That's a load of codswallop" (rips out pages from the bible) "That just did not happen" "Who wrote this?" "As if...." (continues ripping pages out) "Do they think we are stupid?"


World's worst second hand car salesman
I think you'd better go elsewhere, the police are on their way.
OR
The rust's not that bad and we've secured the exhaust with brand new wire. Bald tyres are the latest thing, all the kids have them.

World's worst florist.
Atchoo!

Worlds worst barkeeper.
you know, you shouldn't drink alcohol. It's bad for you. I don't thnk I'll sell you any. Bar's closed!

World's Worst vegetarian
That leather jacket will go great with my leather boots,maybe after i finish shopping i can go get a 28oz. porterhouse steak!


worlds worst astronomer
"AAAHHHHHH!!! When I look in this tube the moon looks HUGE!!!"

World's Worst bartender
(u can put in the same worlds worst as another person as long as u dont answer them the same way)

theres(much staggering and nocking stuff over) no more liquor to sell!

worlds worst pilot
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! look at how high up we are!!!! All the houses are so tiny!!! loooook! im making them get bigger!!!!!! *continues to descend* what? why are all the passengers screaming?
world's worst race horse jockey
I wonder how much wait i can gain before the Irish Derby?

worlds worst NASCAR driver
maybe if take the spoiler off the car will go faster.......................

worlds worst doctor
"Sick? Ummmmm....Here, take this. I think that might work. The last person I gave that to never had to go to the doctor again."

World's Worst singer
(whispers to people behind a curtain) "turn on the CD so we can start the concert!"

worlds worst waiter
::Sees a hott guy over in the distance. Walks over to his table. Looks hime in the eye. trip and fall and spill all the drinks on his head::

Worlds worst couch potatoe
im going to go do my daily workout...................thats 1 push-up down 199 to go!

worlds worst thread
probably anything that comes from me! Boring Smilie O.k.,really-anything not on this site. world's worst elvish name.
legolA*S

worlds worst dark lord
Hey! I need some light here!

World's worst computer.
"Oooohhhh! A virus!! I'll just open it while my owner isn't looking!"

World's Worst tap dancer.
noooo! not these bl**dy cramps again!

World's worst salesman

salesman: Hello sir , i am here to sell u an offer. buy a webcam and get a laptop absolutely FREE.

world's worst : news host
"Hmmmm, seems like there's something goin' on somewhere. I dunno, who cares anyway? Looks like it might rain today...if some clouds come our way."

World's Worst king.
"What?! What do you mean 'rule the people?!' What crown? Oh, that crown...I gave it to some nice young man who said he'd take care of it for me...."

World's worst writer.
"Doctor! Doctor! Huge problem here: I don't know what to write! What do you mean, ' that's called writer's block' ?? Can't you get me any pills??"

World's worst... easter egg.
salmanilla,salmanilla,salmanilla,salmanilla


worlds worst advertisement
You know, of course, that this isn't the best, and that it won't last a lifetime, right? It's the worst thing on the market and we just want your money...what?? What'd I say????

World's worst fridge.
(red guy with pitchfork inside says)come on in ur letting the fire catch on urself MWARHARHAHARAW!

World's worst college professor
"OK, listen up. You are all going to fail miserably so there's no point.... just take the rest of the term off. See you at the exams."



World's worst Newsreader.
"Uhhhh, what is the stock market? And why is everything written so small??"

World's Worst housekeeper
What house? Uh-oh! I seem to have lost it!

World's worst wizard.
"Dang wand, why won't this thing work?" (sound of wand being rapped on the ground) "What a piece of junk!" (sound of wand being jumped upon....Thump!....Thump!....Thump!......BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!...........

World's Worst hobbit

Hobbit caught in a lonely dark place with a Nazgul. Nazgul approaches the terrified hobbit. hobbit says, "Mr. BBB...BBlack Rider wud u be interested in a game of RIDDLES !!!"

World's worst : wine conniesuer
I love wine! Gimme some! I have to taste it and test it out! ::Gulps:: Is this chicken or tuna????lol

worlds worst Homer Simpson
(man with no yellow skin and completely sober)Time fer some push-ups!


worlds worst dirt salesman
Clean stuff! Ye clean stuff here!

World's worst soldier.

soldier on guard sees a person walking towards him and says"HALT! DONT SHOOT OR I WILL MOVE!

WORLD'S WORST : Bart Simpson
A smart respecful young man.

World's Worst mechanic.
Now apprentice, the first thing you need to master in mechanics is the sad, sad, shaking of the head and look on the face when opening the bonnet. This guy's car is fine, it's just it's run out of petrol, but I'm going to charge him a thousand bucks for it! (or pounds, or deutschmarks, whichever you prefer) Great, eh? Oh! You're not my apprentice? You're the guy whose car I'm fixing? Oh, well, just my little joke.........

World's Worst Parent
"Where's the baby?"

World's Worst rapper.
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