Thread: World's Worst
<<                >>
Ok, now lift those weights, as I eat some more of my Big Mac...
Worlds Worst Farmer
What do you mean I can't grow hens by buring chicks in the ground and watering it daily? Isn't that what hen-farming is all about?
World's Worst circus-trainer.
"Now watch closely as I put my head into this lion's mouth.
Oh! Nooooooo" ... CRUNCH!!!
World's Worst Tea Leaf Reader
Let's see, hmm... now this looks like a.....a um..... well, you're going to uh-drown in a bowl filled with tea! Yes, yes that's it!
World's Worst Dog Breeder
Hmmm....I wonder what would happen if I put a poodle with a pincer?
World's worst chef.
"Uh..oops I just cut off my finger...Oh well, I hope the customer wont notice!"
(sad thing is this has happend in one of the restaurants I went into...Oh no!)
Worlds Worst Nun
One who moonlights as a belly dancer and mans a late night telephone call center for loney hearts.
World's Worst Backgammon Player?
Oh, I want to start with the yellow colour or was it blue, come on give me the cards you....
Worlds worst thief
"Excuse me madam, may I please look inside your purse for something valuable?"
Worlds Worst LOTR Critic
"Well, I know what I like and LotR ain't literature."
World's Worst Space Opera
"What is that thing flying at us? OH MY GOD!! IT'S A GIANT DOG-BEAST ALIEN!!! Run for your lives!!!!"
World's Worst Barber.
Oops! Let me trim that little mistake. Oops now it doesn't match the other side so I'll have to take some off of there too. Oh My!!!
World's Worst Hot Dog (frankfurter, tube-steak, weiner, sausage, etc. on a bun.)
At a hot dog stand, known for giving names to different kinds of hot dogs:
"Well, this one here is a I-Don't-Really-Know-What-Kinda-Meat-It-Is Dog, and that one over there, that's a If-You-Eat-Me-You'll-Gain-Thirty-Pounds Dog, and..."
World's Worst Auction Caller (the announcer)
One with a stutter...that would be one loooooong auction!
World's Worst Astronaut
"Houston, we have a problem, I forgot my aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii............." (no sound)
World's worst Dating Show Host
So , have you decided , number 1 or number 2 ? Remember Darling , that Im also available, meet me later on ?
Worlds Worst Journalist
I refuse to write
worlds worst amusment park
Down at my uncle's amusement park, they have a roller coaster that is three miles long ....... and ..... two ..... feet high.
World's Worst Bar-B-Que Sauce.
you know....It would safe alot of money if we just gave them brown food coloring and water....
Worlds worst spelling of the word Australopithecus?
? A whatever the word is
Worlds worst criminal
hey look! they've got pictures of me all over town, and I'm WANTED!!! for a party I hope ...hmmmm ....there's an RSVP on here!!!! I'll be there, don't worry, I'll just call the partythrowers, what's the number again??? Oh yeah, it's 9....1...1...
world's worst pilot
Hey look at me! I'm flying ..... I'm flying ...... I'm Splat!
World's Worst Stinkbug-Stomper
I love stink bugs. NOOOOO!!!!! DONT STEP ON THEM THEY ARE CUTE AND ARE LIVING THINGS.
Worlds worst conservative
Oh dearie... let's cut our vintage dresses into tank tops...
world's worst champion
oh, I feel terribly sorry for that guy who is second... I shall give my prize to him, and next time I'll make sure he's the winner... poor guy... I'm sure he tried sooooo hard...
world's worst superhero
"I'm Pillow Fight Man! Do that again, and I shall hit you with this pillow!"
World's Worst Slumber Party
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know, what do you want to do?"
"Well, we could watch TV or play with the computer."
"No, because the storm has killed the power, the cable, and the land line telephone."
"Well, we have run down the batteries in our cell phones and I-pods, so those are dead too."
"We could take turns reading a book out loud, except the candle has blown out"
"And I don't know where any more matches are to be found."
"We could get something to eat and drink."
"Except that downed tree has made the kitchen inaccessible."
"Is your sleeping bag soggy too?"
"I wish my house was closer to town."
"I wish your parents had left us a car."
World's Worst Bingo Caller
Number 22, no wait a minute, sorry 23, whoops sorry 99
World's worst tap dancer
filppity floppity flip flop....crash!!
world's worst washing machine
EUGH! ITS DIRTY!
Worlds worst athlete
I'm not fat! I'm just dietically challenged!
World's Worst paratrooper.
nooo i grabed my childs back pack... (i sort of based it off a joke of people in an airplane that is gonna crash. if you havent heard it it is funny...)
worlds worst post
Anyone of M's. And to all of you out there whose name starts with M, I wasn't thinking of yours, I was thinking of that other persons
World's Worst Smokejumper?
Maydmarion starts to cry....then realises it's not her
Cough, cough - I can't go down there, I've got asthma.
World's worst baker
My father died in a baking accident, and so, to prevent it happening to me, I've decided never to use ovens, or pans, or mixing spoons, or flour, or wheat, or....
world's worst dictionary
A is for apple.
B is for baby.
C is for cat.
Z is for zebra.
World's Worst Opera?
(outside the opera house)
"Is someone dying in there?"
"Dear god above, take the person into your mercy and let him die, our eardrums cannot stand his caturwauling anymore."
World's worst candy
written on the wrapping:
this is not a toy! keep away from children! do not open! might explode! this is hazardous waste! dangerous contents! best thing to do: give it to the police or to your local atomic expert! do not eat! if swallowed, immediately get a coffin! we wish you a lot of fun with your candyworld product!
world's worst computer game
(instructions on screen)
"Please, dear player, stay where you are. Do not move. Do not press any keys. Do not turn this program off. Do not touch your mouse or joystick. Do not do anything. When the time elapsed has gone to an eternity, you may win!!!! "
World's worst tailor
urggg... I've run out of glue... and this dress is supposed to be finished this evening... so I'll have to take staples...
world's worst football coach
Men, you need to know, that the point of football isn't winning! It's about showing the other teams what a great gentleman like air we have about us! So don't push, don't shove, don't kick, don't do anything violent. And try to lose gracefully...
world's worst photographer
"what a funny machine... what is it? and all those buttons... I should try them, they look so amazing. so how about this one? ... *arghhhh* lightning! a thunderstorm is coming!!! run for your lives or you'll be struck by a lightning!!!!!!"
world's worst plane
"Hurry up Wilma, we don't want to miss our flight!"
"Hold on Fred, do you even know what plane we're one?"
"Of course, Pterodactyl 3000!"
World's Worse Hand-dryer"
After you have washed your hands and are ready to dry them, simply open the furnace door and stick your hands in. Please roll up your sleeves first, for singed cuffs will spoil your shirt.
World's Worst Marshmallow?
*person chewing* hmmmm marshmellow! *marshmellow attacks Person_Chewing "arg!" Person_Chewing has lost 10 hp points and 5 end. points. Marshmellow eats Person_chewing. Person_chewing has died......wierd.
worlds worst gaurda
Grondy doesn't recognize the word "gaurda" so he can't provide the World's Worst.
Cloveress was puzzled by "gaurda" too and requests a definition from Elrose.
hey Elrose, tell Elfy, Cloveress, and Grondy what 'gaurda' means, please!!!!!
oops sry....i havent seen u elfy for a long time! a gaurda is somewhat like a police man
<<                >>
(A Garda is an Irish policeman)
What you want to keep the stolen car - ok
World's worst dentist