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Enter at your own risk.


Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear.
'Mirror, mirror on the wall, which's the nearest car of all?' Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

(Sorry I had to bend the rules and copy one of the major words, but I couldn't pass up Snow White's Wicked Queen's line; though the picture in my mind's eye was Cruella De Vil trying to park her rather lengthy coupe-de-ville.

Without a substantial new funder, we cannot keep paying our bills.
Without a rich sponsor, bankruptcy is in the future.
"A while ago there was a young man dwelling in a great and goodly city by the sea which had to name Langton on Holm." - the opening sentence of William Morris's 1894 The Wood Beyond the World
Once upon a time there was a man who lived in a city which has now disappeared.

Unauthorised duplication is a violation of applicable laws
Copying this material is not allowed and if we catch that you have so done, you will be hauled before a judge and the book will be thrown at you.

This device must accept any interference received, including interference that may cause undesired operation. Part of the documentation that came with a new battery back up surge protector.
Your appliance does not have any priority. So just shut up and accept any interference you receive from anything. Your complaining about it will change nothing.

Also available on cassette and CD from Harper Collins Audio Books
I wrote a pithy response to the above, but the spell checker ate it maybe because I don't remember how to enable JavaScript in IE on this new computer and I haven't yet decided if I am going to download Mozilla's Firefox to replace IE like I did on my eight year old Dell.

Meanwhile, maybe I will get back to this tomorrow; I'm just about burned out today.
And for the illiterate or those who desire being read to while commuting, washing dishes, or falling asleep, we offer books on disk and tape.

'Although he composed in many musical genres, Vivaldi truly redefined the concerto and made it distinctly his own.' - from the blurb on the back of the Dover publication of Antonio Vivaldi's L'Estro armonico Opus 3, in Full Score.
Vivaldi excelled in Concerto though he also tried other genres for pleasure or for being the nearest thing to a jack of all trades.

You're under attack. With call and SMS spoofing and spam, mobile viruses...even SIM cloning. Here's how to protect yourself.
That's from the cover of PCQuest
Open our pages and read the plethora of exciting articles we are offering this month.

Volunteers do not need experience; they only need a hammer, gloves, and the desire to help. - taken from a Habitat for Humanity request for help.
Anyone can help, only simple tools are needed.

" Love. Even with all the math in the 'verse if you take a boat in the air that you don't love she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning o' worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down, tells you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her a home." - Mal , in Serenity
Trying to explain amour and agape love is something like trying to explain how a bumble bee can fly. You can only know the former when you experience it, while with the latter you know it, because you can see it.

Are we there yet?
"Excuse me Sir. Do you know where we are going and when we are going to arrive? I'm starting to feel nervous"

This is taking longer than usual. Try reloading the page.
Still waiting? Click the refresh icon.

"Thank you for waiting; a representative will be with you shortly." (followed by tinny-Muzak music) and then it is all repeated every fifteen seconds endlessly.
Haven't you understood? You're not wanted and nobody wants to answer your queries?

The following components require your urgent attention - you have chosen to ignore the following faults.
Hey you! Look at this list of things you have yet to do.

Coupon is required and cannot be combined with other offers, discounts, or coupons.
To get your discount bring your coupon. And to you cannot get a bigger discount with other coupons. It's either this or nothing!

Money launderers often send money through various "offshore accounts" in countries that have bank secrecy laws.
To keep the gummint from knowing how you are moving money about the world, some crooks are washing it via pseudo-nefarious agencies.

When in doubt; throw it out! The sign that should appear on every refrigerator door.
If you're unsure whether or not your stuff is bad, there's only one thing to do, throw it away!

A demurrage fee will be charged on a time basis if parcel(s)/packet(s) is/are not taken within 14 days of the date of this notice
If you have not picked up your stuff within one fortnight of this date, we shall start charging you daily rent.

Oh, where have you been Billy Boy, Billy Boy, Oh, where have you been charming Billy?
Young man, I'm asking you where you have been and what took you so long?!

The moon is a ghostly galleon, tossed upon cloudy skies...
Sailing above the horizon, the silver orb floats majestically through billowy fluff.

If at you don't at first succeed, try, try again.
Practice makes perfect!

Rub full face over surface to be glued
How not to use super glue, unless you want to permanently attach that hockey mask.

'Software, documentation or packaging may differ from retail versions.' - Portion of small print disclaimer from mailed advertisement for online purchase of PC accessories.
What you buy may not necessarily look like what you first saw although it is the same thing.

Examples and self-test exercises to support each key principle.
At the back of an accounting book.
This book pictures and diagrams!

As I walked out In the streets of Laredo,
As I walked out in Laredo one day
I spied a young cowboy all wrapped in white linen
All wrapped in white linen and cold as the clay
I saw a cowboy in white linen which he probably stole as cowboys don't wear white.

A complete IP PBX for today and tomorrow that is easy to use, fully featured and robust.
Buy this system today and it will be obsolete next week.

'Please don't squeeze the Charmin.' - famous TP ad from TV
Listen to us, we're trying to make you buy our product.

Pre-order your copy now and you will get a free stop watch
Don't delay, buy it before it comes out and receive a complimentary worthless bribe that will lose three minutes every hour.

This magnificent work, dedicated to the Florentine Grand Prince Ferdinand III de' Medici, incorporates twelve works organized as four sets. - blurb from back of my Dover Publications edition of Antonio Vivaldi's L'Estro armonico, Opus 3, 12 Concertos for Violins and String Orchestra (ca 1711).
This is a piece of art dedicated to Florentine Grand Prince Ferdinand III de' Medici and is famous because the guy who did that got it copyrighted before you and thus won renown for something even you could have done.

A ledger account is the history of a particular type of transaction or of the dealings of a business with a particular person.
Financial records come in multiple forms.

'Here is truly a master key to Tolkien's Middle-earth. - blurb on the back of Robert Foster's The Complete Guide to Middle-earth
If you do not understand the Masterpiece of the Great Tolkien then use this.

A flawless masterpiece...one of the most influential books of our generation
From the back of the Hobbit, The Observer's quote.
'Try it, you'll like it!'

However, that's not the correct order for the words.
Hey! you got it wrong, fix it!

What we become depends on what we read after all of the professors have finished with us. The greatest university of all is a collection of books.-Thomas Carlyle
You won't remember what your professors taught you. If you want true knowledge go read books.

Say whether each of these statements are true or false. Quote from the passage to prove the correctness of your answers:
Crusoe was a small and timid dog
In the following sentences, write whether they are factual or not. Verify your response using the accompanying text:
The little mutt, named after Defoe's shipwrecked hero, was quite insecure.

Such cases were known to drag on for months, if not years.
If you register a lawsuit expect it to drag on for several years.

The court will not consider your case as you have no Locus StandiElf With a Big Grin Smilie
You can't bring your case to this court for you were not one actually harmed as a consequence of its aspect. Or something like that.

For information concerning authorization of electronic share movement, please contact your Broker/Dealer. - Amongst the fine print on a Stock Purchase & Dividend Reinvestment Plan Quarterly Statement.

You got it correct Grondy! Bravo!Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

If you want to play on the stock exchange find a broker or you're going to bankrupt yourself

The "I'm Feeling LuckyTM" button automatically takes you to the first web page returned for your query.
"Take a chance; punch the button and get taken to the most frequented page."

An alternate method of calling someone stupid: They got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
Do not call someone stupid rather say its an error product of humans!

Discuss the latest medical and health news, ask advice about health and nutrition. Note that this forum is not a substitute for consultation with a physician.Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
Tell us about the newest happenings in healthcare; post your queries about healthy eating here; but, also take what you read here with a grain of salt, for you will undoubtedly get better answers from your local sawbones. Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie

In any comprehensive history of the idea of climate change, references to Mars and Venus will keep popping up—and with them, the name Carl Sagan. - a statement by Charlene M. Anderson, Associate Director of The Planetary Society, on page five of the July/August 2008 issue of The Planetary Report, Volume XXVIII, Number 4
If you want to understand what climate change can do look at Mars and Venus and you will get an idea.

Shallot plants can grow from year to year without re-planting
These giant green-onion cousins are perennials.

You are responsible for postage of your game to our servive center.
If you can't send your game to us we cannot provide the repairs.

It compromises of the laws in a country that set out the basic structure of government and, if there is a bill of rights, the basic social and political values by which the country wishes to live.
A general description of a country's constitution.

Re-enter the building and cross Checkpoint 15. - Sentence from a TR7 Walkthrough.
You missed something. Go back and follow these instructions.

If clicking the link above does not work, copy and paste the URL in a
new browser window instead.
If the link is broken: try, try again.

'Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this sun of York' - Shakespeare
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