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Thread: Elves and gastric eruptions.

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Hello and good evenin'. I have started this again since my last attempt was deleted as it was posted in an inappropriate thread.
The question arose in the chatroom one evenin' and it was decided between a few of us that it is a good question.
Never once in the Lotr,Hobbit, Sil and Unfinished does it mention gastric eruptions amongst Men,Elves, Dwarves or even Hobbits.
Now I thought with the hobbits bein' a relaxed people that the odd one may have slipped out.
I even thought that ol' PJ would have add them just for the fun of it. But alas it is still a mystery...so I have decided to throw the doors open and discuss the matter in hand.
If the Hobbits eat that much lembas bread there as ta be sumthin' and what of the elves. At the council meetin' would Elrond have left or just sat on.........
Well if i'm not mistaken, in the SEE of FOTR, Pippin releases some gas...
I agree with Dauros. There should have been more gas with all that food among the hobits.
Thats what I'm talkin about. Ye saw how much they ate....or maybe it was how their digestive system worked maybe...they didn' fart so hair grew on their toes......
Val shakes head in dispair. Look Around Smilie I've seen it all now. Are things really this bad around here?

Walks away and leaves them to it.........
were not that low yet Val ye don' wanna here the other suggestion Big Laugh Smilie Big Laugh Smilie Big Laugh Smilie Big Laugh Smilie Big Laugh Smilie
Alright. you're a writer. You're writing a book. would you seriously put gastric eruptions in it?

YKou lot are low.

To low for ............ THE SPOTTED DAISY anyway.
Seeing as how I deleted Dar's original thread, I'll re-phrase his original question.
Quote:
Do Elves suffer from flatulence?"
And of course the answer is: Most certainly. Girl Smilie Very Sad Smilie Dead Smilie Exploding Head Smilie

cool question Dar. even i thought about something like this b4. i mean that none of the nine walkers are ever shown to be heading for a make shift jungle toilet. i mean Aragorn i n the movie sometimes gives the look as if he is holding something big with great difficulty.think of this Dar what if someone wants to sh*t right in the middle of a battle ? i think its better to get killed than fight the battle with all the crap jus comin out ? Very Big Grin Smilie
now Val this is a just question. we are not actin low or anything !
Good were gettin abit of interest. Now could you imagine how the story may have changed if folk had been on the loo. What if Aragorn had been busy when the attack came on weathertop. Or Tom was busy else where when the weepin willow was havin abit of fun.
And what is so bad sayin fart for example in Shrek the amount of farting and fart jokes is immense and with Shrek 2 comin' soon there probably be more.
If I had wanted ta be crude I could have went for do elves sh*t in the woods? without the the wee star.
LOL Darous.. You silly man! Tongue Smilie
Of course Elves and the races of Middle Earth suffer from flatulence...
I don't recall reading much about it if at all in Lord of The Rings but it's been a while since I've read the whole series. Wiggle Smilie
i cant understand if dar thinks they fart or they dont.

my opinion is that everyone lets one out every now and then immortal or not!
but put into consideration the fact that Tolkien would skip up to a week at a time describing scenery changes and the moods of companions without stating anything they said.so during one of these lapses in conversation could there not be room for a bit of gas or relief?but i dont think whether or not the ringbearer was staying regular was an important thing to include in the books. (and who did somone say is a writer trying to write a book,i myself have decided to try writing my story until the plot comes so there is some bacground that goes along with the plot.only problem is my book so far is short, pointless and with random character introductions.and it burns my eyes when i look at it.)
My ancient grandmother (my mother was born in 1914) used to say:
Quote:
Better to fart and bear the shame,
Than not to fart and bear the pain. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
Amen
Wise sounding Grandma you had there, Grondy.
Quote:
Better out than in, I always say. - Shrek
Wiggle Smilie
Do tolkiens creatures fart? Do bears sh*t in the forest! Beorn does to.

Hairy hobbit feet can't be a by product of not farting as I have hairy toes and feet and I'm always farting.

It's an interesting idea that may Aragorn could have been crimping on off, whilst the ringwraiths attacked. Imagine "Get back, huunnnghhh, you foul spawn of. huuunnnghhhh, Sauron." Wink Smilie
Quote:
It's an interesting idea that may Aragorn could have been crimping on off, whilst the ringwraiths attacked. Imagine "Get back, huunnnghhh, you foul spawn of. huuunnnghhhh, Sauron."

Hmmm, i don't think that happened... during the attack at Weathertop, Aragorn was running around with torches... if he'd had experienced a couple of gastric eruptions at that point, the fires would've caused the whole place to explode... heh the eruption of Weathertop. "I didnt know Weathertop was a volcano, eh Mr Frodo"

if an elf farts in the forest and no one is around to hear it did the elf really let one rip?i had to put that thought in somewhere on this thread.
Yes as he would have heard it, most probably smelt it and at least felt it part his ring piece. I wonder if elves farts are pungent.
Iím sorry, Iíve tried but I absolutely fail to see how this thread has any relevance, or socially redeeming value whatsoever!

As a true Tolkien fan I find this thread to be completely and utterly embarrassing to Planet-Tolkien.com, and for itís membership, and I cringe every single time I see this thread displayed on the home page!

Iím just glad that J.R.R. is no longer alive to see this ridiculous, embarrassing thread. If he could see this thread from the afterlife, he is probably rolling in his grave right now, shaking his head in disgust, and disbelief.

This thread is a crying shame! No offense, but whether you people realize it or not, you are doing a serious disservice to the memory of J.R.R. Tolkien!

Quote:
Val shakes head in dispair. I've seen it all now. Are things really this bad around here?

Walks away and leaves them to it.........


Amen Val couldnít agree with you more! Forgive them Eru, they know not what they do!
Shaking Head Smilie
Yeah i kinda agree. I mean its just gone to far Sorry guys.
Moderator Smilie Okay, we've had our fun and heard enough on this topic.

As Planet-Tolkien's bit towards cutting back on global warming, I'm locking this thread to reduce the amount of methane gas produced by the 'Great Toothless One'. Moderator Smilie
Moderator Smilie The Council apologises for leaving this thread locked for so long. That was not our intention, merely an oversight. The thread is now unlocked and you are free to continue the discussion. Enjoy. Elk Grinning Smilie
Fantastic!

I can think of no better way to enrich our daily lives! Tongue Smilie
well its not exactly the same without darous and ross(i know ross is gone and i havnt seen any new posts from dar)and the discussion is pretty much over anyway.anything that eats farts(among other things)and all the races of Middle-Earth eat,therefore have gastric eruptions(among other things)with the exception of Ents,who only drink(i think).
Well, maybe they just do quiet ones, and you don't notice. Who says Ents have the same anatomy as us? Hmmmm?
Ents suck a lot of moisture in through their toes too. Also as they perspire a lot through their hair, they have very little need for your normal plumbing system. Of course all this is pure conjecture on my part.
Quote:
anything that eats farts


But did you know that seagulls cannot burp? In fact if you feed them a fish laced with ample quanties of sodium bicarbonate (baking powder) their stomachs explode (do not try at home kids!!!)
And you know this.. how, Valedhelgwath?

Been experimenting? Wink Smilie
Let's just say, I've been told. Angel Smilie

Apparently it's something to do with a valve in the their oesophagus not letting air back out quite as readily as my own.