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Thread: New story. Really need comments

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Sorry for not getting back to you sooner valar_deimosa.

I feel that your story needs a lot more fleshing out. You are in a bit too much of a hurry. Slow down a bit and let Gandalf have a smoke or lets have a closer look at Legolas when he appears or Elrond should sigh (he does that quite a bit apparently).

The plot is good though. A bit tricky with the changes to cannon, I am not sure how readers would respond to this. A lot of fans are very protective of Tolkien's prose - you just have to look at the reactions to the film to see that! Are the changes necessary? Could you invent a few new characters to replace dead / oversea ones? eg: substitute Elladan for Elrond, Eldarion for Boromir? just a thought.

Keep at it! Smile Smilie
I think Allyssa has a valid point, valar_deimosa. I really like your plot but would prefer that you invented new characters. The problem is that Tolkien has already developed the characters in the Fellowship and I can't imagine them, nor do I wish to, any different then who they are. Unless, of course, your story is meant to be a spoof. I would encourage you to continue writing because what you have written is creative. I particularly like the verse.
Since this is just a draft, I assume you weren't looking for advise on grammar, spelling, sentence structure, etc.
Keep going with it.
Rednell Read Smilie
Hey Val, can't find the Dwarves fighting the Easterners story, so do you mind if I reply here? Alissa sent it to me. It was great! It was so cool how you had the dwarves make that ditch. Your descriptions were really good, and the emothin was definitely there. I hope to read more of your stories, keep it up!

I have moved this post to the Coming of the Eastern Dragon thread

[Edited on 19/9/2003 by Valedhelgwath]