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Okay, I finished it and sent it to all of you anyway. It does have a disclaimer warning you not to open it if you are easily offended. So you can't blame me, you have been warned.
Ha Ha Ha Smilie Enjoyed it very much Plastic! You certainly have a talent for parody. I kept waiting for the gang to make it to Lorien though...wanted to see the naughty elf-maidens. Wink Smilie
very very amusing Plastic! Ha Ha Ha Smilie
Do you have more of these things?
S'my first go at ripping other people off. Much easier than original writing isn't it?
I was told it went on too long by a friend of mine who read it this morning, she reckoned I should have left it when Gandalf and Alatar go to the pub. But then she's not really a Tolkienite.
LOL! I just had a peek and Taz put it up in the fanfic section, completely uncensored! FREE SPEECH! ONE EACH!
Well actually I haven't got around to reading it yet, silly me for trusting plastic huh. Oh well will have to stay up till later tonight.
Oooh. Must read it then!
Read Smilie
Wahey! Brilliant stuff Plastic! Really & honestly loved it!

My only complaint is that it's too short. Any more of the sort? Or are you planning add to it? I liked the pub scene best!

Taz - please keep it up in the fanfic section - it's really good. I don't think anyone could be offended by it?

p.s - Plastic, can I forward it to some friends? I'll add the 'copyright by Plastic Squirrell' thing etc., not to worry.

[Edited on 13/6/2002 by Ungoliant]
Very Big Grin Smilie very, very good!
Man I really loved the part about the Balorg-wings!! The rest was great too!
ROFLMAO!!! The SKWRL's story is brilliant. I had to stop reading half-a-dozen times just to wipe the tears from my eyes so that I could continue. Well done Mr. Squirrel. Cool Smilie

Taz: I suggest you let it ride as is. The four or five usages of the four letter word are quite mild in this ungodly age. Besides it isn't where your average underage tourist is going to go looking, and even if they did, they know and use words a lot more terrible than that one. Shocked Smilie
In the original e-mail to Taz I did point out that he might want to add a few ****s here and there, in my defence.
Yeah, forward it to anyone you like Golly, I'd be glad of the publicity (thanks for giving away my secret identity by the way Animated Wink Smilie )
And it sounds like I'm going to have to come up with some more of these aren't I?
Ooops sorry mate. Fixed it already. Ta, I'll forward it to my friends then.

Yes, looks like you'll have to write some more. At least you know you have an appreciative audience out there.
After a horrible, grueling day at work, I came home, opened my e-mail and, lo and behold, there was an e-mail from the Plastic Squirrel with an attachment. Thanks, Plastic, your Balrog spoof erased an otherwise yecky day. I really had a great laugh. I had no idea you were so talented. I loved it! When is your next creation?
Read Smilie Ha Ha Ha Smilie
*blushes deeply*
I dunno, any requests for another chapter to tackle?
Any help would be much appreciated.
Keep them coming, Plastic. That one was really funny.
Well, after chatting to Alyssa yesterday, I think I might have an angle on "The Council of Elrond" so you never know, I might do that next.
Out of curioslity, how long did it take you to write 'Bridge'?

Ok, I confess, it was a selfish question really, I just wanted to know when we could expect the Council of Elrond.
It took me a little under 3 hours last Tuesday, over a crate of lager. But I never ever get stuff done that quickly normally, so don't hold your breath!
ROFL! Very Big Grin Smilie
Loved the story! Keep writing Plastic, doing well! Big Smile Smilie
he who doth write...
of things funny and bright...
shining and light.

the bridge at present ... his best
he who profess
only voice of sanity, duh...isn't!

i fear i dread
the path he next tread...
for councils of elrond
his next thread?

a lager
a dagger
i'll take a wager...

[Edited on 22/6/2002 by tuesday]

[Edited on 30/9/2002 by tuesday]
LOL Good one Tuesday Smile Smilie
I hope it's not too late to tell you how I loved that! I thnik I will buy myself some lager today and I will see what happens...
Never too late for a compliment Eryan, thanks. Drink is always the best inspiration, but I think I need to go back to Vodka for my next outing, it works a lot better than Lager.
Big Laugh Smilie
No, "fat neck" is one of my mistakes. I once called Plastic a fat neck (jokingly of course), but it appears to be called a "big head" in English, if I remember correctly. Fat neck is just a literal translation from Dutch. Tongue Smilie
What on earth is a "fat neck" Tom? a red-neck?
Is it possible to not be offended by old pal Plastic? I will work on it...
He keeps getting away with it, doesn't he? Very Big Grin Smilie
Quote:
Truely talented writers do not need to turn to chemicals such as alcohol for inspiration, of course. Otherwise, how can you ever know if the inspiration truely comes from you and not merely hallucination? - so I am told by a very wise writer friend. Smile Smilie


{just trying to be responsible}

[Edited on 30/9/2002 by Allyssa]
I never claimed to be even slightly talented, your friend ain't so wise is he? Look at Coleridge, without Opium and Laudanum etc. etc. he was crap, and can you imagine how dull the Dead would be without drugs?

Oh btw, sorry 'bout the language Taz, but everyone was warned WELL in advance. Council of Elrond will have **s in all the relevant places, as will the Old forest (which Tommy has already sent me and I'm bust doctoring) when I get them done. Both are nearly there, but I'm kinda busy at the moment, and I'll get them checked by you guys first, okay?
No offense, Plast. Was just trying to be responsible to all those impressionalble youngsters out there. Big Smile Smilie
Heh! I never expected it to get put up uncensored in the first place, but luckily for me, Taz never used to read stuff before he put it up. The poor deluded fellow assumed I would have made it clean! Wink Smilie
He's sent Old Forest to me now, read it, and (if I don't sound too much like a "fat neck" Animated Wink Smilie ) it's hilarious I think. Plastic did a really great job with it. So when are you going to put it up then, Pman? Smoke Smilie
It should be going up this week Tommy, it's been approved by a couple of council members (I think) though Grondy ammended a lot of it for me and made a lot of suggestions, not all of which have been ignored (how unlike me) as a lot of it was quite relevant. However, I can't remember how many YAY!s I got in my mail on Saturday morning, as I was quite preoccupied while I was trying to check my mail with one hand (really, don't ask).
ok, Plastic, I'll bite. What happened to your hand?

And just to keep on topic ...and all the *** were in the appropriate places.
Quote:
... as I was quite preoccupied while I was trying to check my mail with one hand (really, don't ask).
Quote:
ok, Plastic, I'll bite. What happened to your hand?
Big Laugh Smilie Puppy Smilie He's a Postman; a dog bit it. Dog Smilie Big Laugh Smilie

Very Sad Smilie Seriously, though, I hope it wasn't something very dangerous like a guitar string breaking and whapping a bad slice out of you, Squirrel. Was it your fingering or your picking hand, course either will preclude your participating with your band except maybe on the vocals, Bummer! Sad Smilie Hope it heals up quick. Smile Smilie

And back to the topic, I suggested alternatives for the ***s and non-***ed words which will probably be among those being ignored. Very Big Grin Smilie

Okay, when I said don't ask, I meant it. There's nothing wrong with my hand, it was just... erm.... busy shall we say? Nuff said.
And I've got to add another paragraph or two to the old forest now, as Tommy pointed out to me that it doesn't fit in with the first spoof chapter, so I need to create a little continuity, end of the week still looking good though.
Quote:
And back to the topic, I suggested alternatives for the ***s and non-***ed words which will probably be among those being ignored


However did you guess? Nobody ****s with my ****s Wink Smilie
Okay, for those of you who haven't seen it yet, TomBombadillo's "The Old Forest" is now up in the fan writings section just over there <- see?
Well done Tommie (and Skwrel!) Orc With Thumbs Up Smilie


Shocked Elf Smilie (The 'Fool of a Took' spin-off made the final cut.) Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
Would have thought of it myself if I hadn't been "rush-editing" the whole thing, twas lucky you spotted a whole load of stuff I didn't Grond. Thanks mate.