Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.
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Eruwen hiccuped, a bit drunk from the good wine, and stumbled up the path that Laurel had taken down to her, brushing the dead warg out of her way.
From the path may you never stray
Through the woods without dismay,
Full of luck and joy
There he met the elves one day,
And they feasted all night long
Until the sun rose the next day,
and they were all gone
Sang Valin in a merry voice as he sat in an overstuffed chair and drank ale. He then lit his pipe and blew smoke rings.
As he headed back to the kitchen he thought to himself, "I hope those those ladies find their way back soon, for we need another kettle of soup and the customers haven't been very interested when I've made me Stone Soup fer 'em."
OOC: It's my 1400th post!!! Man, I'm OLD!!!! I feel special. Nothing on Grondy. When did YOU join, Grondy?
hey Grondy have you found someone yet to pick up the things on the things needed list?
"Ya know, I thought it would be better to get a group together to get the goods down there. There's quite a bit of stuff. It sounds like the other pathway has been opened now, so perhaps we can start to actually use the stairs for what they were intended."
They came out the top of the path and Eruwen looked at the room. "Seriously, Laurel. How in the world did you find this?" Eruwen looked down at the dirt on her hands, "Ah darn. Would you look at that? I broke a nail."
"When you've finished your snack Calin and are ready to go, come see me and I'll give you the list and send the House Troll along with you, for to guard the gold and do the heavy packing."
"Yo Eva, hows about some creamy cheesey cauliflower and brocolli soup? Else some good old fashioned Fangornian onion soup? Or Maybe even both? And here is the grocery list, please add to it anything you think we'll need in the next week or so. Calin has offered to do the Inn's shopping."
"Here's you some taters and venison Valin, plus a wad of Old Toby fer your pipe." continues Grondy as he also topped off Valin's tankard. "Oh, and Gimli's Finest is ale, not beer. Beer is what we serve the drunks, namely Loni now she can no longer tell the difference."
As they started to walk back to the main room, Eruwen almost hit her head on the beam in the hallway once again. "Oh sheesh, thanks for the warning," she said lowering her head, just missing the wooden obstruction. "I could have been knocked out again. Not good."
They reached the main room, and Eruwen sat down at one of the tables. "Heya Grondy. Could I get some food and drink please? Perhaps it can be taken off my payment for finding the source of that terrible moaning," she said as she lifted Claw onto her lap and started stroking him. "By the way, you may want to send some strapping men down there to get some of that aged wine and brandy. It's excellent!" she said with a slight hiccup.
OOC: This is going to be my last post until sometime in May. Take care everyone! Talk to you again soon.
"Okay," says Grondy to the House Troll, "You go along with Calin, she has the list for the groceries; here is a bag of gold to pay for them, don't use it for anything else, or let any one make off with it. You are to carry the groceries back here. And most importantly keep Calin out of trouble." "Calin, it's not that I don't trust you, it's just that we need those groceries so we can eat this next week."
well... were off
A tall fair headed elf named Windrush tiptoes in through
the door. "All Hail and Well Met, I am Windrush and I come to
taste the good beer and fine food that this house has to offer..
I am aware of the custom for a new comer to sing a song, but unfortunately
my larynx took a thrashing with a terrible cold last week and I have been
rubbing my throat with a leaf from a mallorn tree to aid in it's recovery. I will however
tell a jape...
Paddy (a threadbare hobbit) went down to the market one fine morning and spied himself
a shiny silver thermos flask. On asking the vendor of the stall what it was, the vendor replied that
a thermos flask kept things hot when needed and also kept things cold when needed ! Paddy then proceeded to ask the vendor how much he could purchase it for ? The vendor being a shrewd old Hobbit from over the Brandywine Bridge told him that he would sell it for 5 pieces of silver... the deal was done.
The following morning Paddy was crossing the bridge at Bywater when he spied his friend Murphy (A hobbit of dubious quality)... "The top o'th morning to you my friend Paddy" said Murphy "what shiny thing do you have under your arm there"? Paddy replied "A thermos flask", "well what does a thermos flask do when it's at home"? asked Murphy, Paddy replied "it keeps things hot if you want to keep them hot, or cold if you want to keep them cold" !!! "so what do you have in there at the moment"? asks Murphy
Paddy replies, "I have two cups of hot broth and two chocolate ice creams"
With that out of the way Windrush moves off to the bar to have himself a large tankard of beer and dodge any missiles from an unforgiving audience as he has told yet another of his useless jokes
no problem both of you
"That was a rather silly story Windrush, but it meets the requirement. Here's your tankard of Gimli's Finest and a plate of deep fat fried Spicy Balrog Wings."
I also apologise (being new) for the mixup in identities
adjourned to an outer chamber to remove the tunnel dirt from her skirt and done as Grondmaster
bidded adding more perfume to her neck and face to further enhance her demeanour...
"Some food, perhaps roasted chestnuts or some pumpkin pie? Is there anyone who can placate
an elf's empty stomach after such a long journey from the wilderlands?"
He strides over to a table and sits down - not sure if it is self service or a comely serving maid who takes the order
Magic lives inside my soul
Flowing through my viens
It penatrates my heart and mind
Causing sun when there is rain
One half of me was missing
And now it has been found
Dark and light caused corruption
But of late, become sound
Soon the day will come
When parts become divided
And on that day, neither half will loose
But one will be confided
Once again dark poetry has replaced light.
He grabs a plate cuts a piece of pumkin pie, adds a couple roasted chestnuts as garnish as well as a swirl of whipped cream and a dark chocolate shaving, and returns to the bar where he hustles over to Windrush's table. "Here you go my friend," and places the pie before the hungry elf.
Then he returns behind the bar and draws a a tankard of Gimli's Finest and a pitcher of beer; the forner he presents to Rue Auburn smiling, "For your dark song."
He returns to Windrush's table and bending over, whispers so none of the other patrons could hear him and trying to lessen any embarasment, ("Master Windrush Sir, I only say this just in case you hadn't yet heard: it isn't considered polite RPG etiquette to move someone else's character or even to put words in their mouth. You may suggest or request that they do something, but only they get to do the actual doing of it, don't you see" and he continues with a friendly smile, "then all we others get to do the reacting to it if we've a mind to do so.")
Grondy then tops-off Windrush's tankard from the pitcher and places the pitcher of beer beside the elf and says with wink, "Just in case you run dry afore we can get back to you. If you wants something more to eat, just yell. I'm off to get me a bowl of that hot creamy, cheesy broccolli and cauliflower soup and some toasted garlic bread, but if you needs anything just you give a yell and somebody will be back in a couple jiffys." And with that Grondy scurried back to the kitchen,
Making it theme specific will keep our clientele from just mumbling the words to some current tune on their Eye-Box playlist or repeat the joke from this week's Cartalk or the current edition of Readers Digest. Least that is my take on it. What do the rest of you think?"
May your beard grow ever longer, may the twinkle never leave your eyes
and your toes always find a nice fire to warm themselves by
Grondy yells," HEY EVERYBODY COME ON DOWN TO THE KHAZAD-DŘMISH-INN WHERE WE ARE HOLDING A LITTLE CONTEST FOR THE BEST SONG/POEM ABOUT THE INN FOR PATRONS OF THE INN
Post your entries in character below and sometime early in May we'll pick the best ones. First prize will be at the least a week's supply of Gimli's Finest.
One that springs to mind and which won't count in the contest, was written by Professor Tolkien and published in The Fellowship of the Ring as well as The Adventures of Tom Bombadil and The Tolkien Reader. It starts out:
THE MAN IN THE MOON STAYED UP TOO LATE
There is an inn, a merry old inn
beneath an old grey hill,
And there they brew a beer so brown
That the Man in the Moon himself came down
one night to drink his fill.
POST YOUR OUT OF CHARACTER COMMENTS ABOUT THE CONTEST HERE."
And after all that, Grondy draws himself a tankard of Gimli's Finest to sooth his throat from all that shouting.
Elvish script is tattood along one of her arms.
She says, ďMy names is Maydmarion, Iím new to this area, please may I join you all for a drink and a chat. I heard the laughter from outside, it sounded nice.
Everyone starts talking and drinking, the band starts playing again...
"This is for my lost love...."
Maydmarion starts to singing in a soft, sad voice, the rest of the patrons look up expectantly....
When I hear you laugh
When we share a secret
When your eyes sparkle
When weíre just us.
When we donít have to talk
When I watch you sleeping
When you remember
When I donít have to explain.
When you walk into the room
When we are in a crowd
When Iím by myself
When you make me giggle.
When I hear your heart beat
When you reach for me
Even when youíre not looking
Thatís when I love you.
Gimili asks what the drink will be, discretely wiping a tear from his eye. Maydmarion replies a single malt whisky if you have one - I need it to warm up and to forget...
Anyway here's your double-malt whiskey," said Grondy as he set it before the bow-woman. "If you'd like a tankard of Gimli's Finest Ale its on the house for your song; and would you be wanting a plate of Watcher Rings or Spicy Balrog Wings to snack upon whilst you have your drink?"
Windrush stands up from the table and bows low then sits down
again as he has consumed a little too much of Grondy's fine ale
and a Balrog's talon has stuck in his tooth
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the Khazad-dumish tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and the lager.
Anyway, the Ale sounds really good, I need a good pick-me-up, and the Spicy Balrog Wings could hit the spot, I've been on berries and leaves for the past week or so.
Looking forward to meeting the locals.
"Nice song Windrush; is its title 'The Landlord's Prayer'" says Grondy with a grin? "You probably need a refill after that: the same or would you like to switch?"
help me stay awake for another hour or so
Eva begins to sing to accompaniment that, strangely enough, doesn't seem to have a source.
The Khazad-dumish Inn Song by Eva lilith
"My first is the last in back and in Took
And part of the difference twixt left and forsook.
My next is the first of both haddock and hook,
My third is but one ere the first thatís in book.
My fourthís at the end, the last of them all,
The fifth is the third, for those that recall.
For the sixth and the seventh, the same letter call,
Starting dizzy and drunk, this oneís not hard at all!
For the eighth, hereís an answer, and not just a clue:
When youíre all by yourself, thereís no one but you.
Next is a letter that lets movers move;
Though they donít meow or mumble, youíll find it there, too!
I am the tenth letter- donít look for me!
I canít be seen, for an Iís how you see.
My eleventh is neither in foul nor in free,
Gollum uses this one a lot, youíll agree.
My twelfth is its own self divided by six,
My thirteenth the tenth one thrown into the mix.
My last are both second when youíre ďin a fixĒ
And at the ďnĒd of where I get my kicks.
When you solve this riddle, youíll have in your hand
The name of the inn that will never be bland.
So if you walk alone or roam in a band
Make your way to this tavern, the best in the land!"
Eva takes a quick bow and hurries off the stage to applause from those patrons sober enough to appreciate her song.