Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.
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What kind of a place is this?
There's a clip clopping of horse hoofs and the door opens and Maydmarion walks in with a rather large, old, battered bag, as usual her bow is across her back and her quiver is tied at her waist, although there is a slight lack of arrows in the quiver.
Hello everyone, hello Grondy. Here you are Grondy I promised a presant for looking after me the other evening. I could do with a drink though, I've been riding all day and am parched.
Maydmarion opens the bag and takes out a beautiful mithril goblet and hands it to Grondy.
Grondy uncorks the bottle and pours a little in a glass a swirls it around, he smells it, smiles and takes a taste, relishing it as he keeps it on his tongue for a bit before swallowing. "Oooo! that is good, too good for the ordinary customers, but as you were the finder Eruwen, you deserve an occasional treat." And he pours her half a glass and the same amount for himself. "This stuff is not for drinking, but for nursing."
"Welcome Floyd_n_milan, The Khazad-dumish Inn is a tavern where we eat, drink, and make merry. I'm the Head Cook and Bottle Washer and a few of us run the Inn while Gimli's away. To get your first drink you must read and heed Gimli's sign posted there over the bar." (Its posted in the first post of this thread.) "Feel free to join in." (Remembering you are in character and not to put words in the mouths of others.)
"Oh my! Maydmarion, where ever did you find that," says Grondy as his eyes light up on seeing the goblet, "Is it a family heirloom, did you uncover a hoard, or did you sack a religous establishment? I see you've lost a few arrows: are they still after you or did you retire your adversaries? Anyway, this thing of beauty is worth more the the wee service I provided you; are you sure you want to give this lovely cup away?"
The first thing Calin notices is Eruwen running after claw. He goes after her to welcome her back and ask about her trip.
The door opens and a short figure comes into the room. He grabs a pint and a pipe and then smokes for a few minutes. He then jumps onto the nearest table and starts to sing...
There is an inn, a merry old inn
beneath an old grey hill,
And there they brew a beer so brown
That the Man in the Moon himself came down
one night to drink his fill.
The ostler has a tipsy cat
that plays a five-stringed fiddle;
And up and down he saws his bow
Now squeaking high, now purring low,
now sawing in the middle.
The landlord keeps a little dog
that is mighty fond of jokes;
When there's good cheer among the guests,
He cocks an ear at all the jests
and laughs until he chokes.
They also keep a hornéd cow
as proud as any queen;
But music turns her head like ale,
And makes her wave her tufted tail
and dance upon the green.
And O! the rows of silver dishes
and the store of silver spoons!
For Sunday there's a special pair,
And these they polish up with care
on Saturday afternoons.
The Man in the Moon was drinking deep,
and the cat began to wail;
A dish and a spoon on the table danced,
The cow in the garden madly pranced
and the little dog chased his tail.
The Man in the Moon took another mug,
and then rolled beneath his chair;
And there he dozed and dreamed of ale,
Till in the sky the stars were pale,
and dawn was in the air.
Then the ostler said to his tipsy cat:
'The white horses of the Moon,
They neigh and champ their silver bits;
But their master's been and drowned his wits,
and the Sun'll be rising soon!'
So the cat on the fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,
a jig that would wake the dead:
He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,
While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon:
'It's after three!' he said.
They rolled the Man slowly up the hill
and bundled him into the Moon,
While his horses galloped up in rear,
And the cow came capering like a deer,
and a dish ran up with the spoon.
Now quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle;
the dog began to roar,
The cow and the horses stood on their heads;
The guests all bounded from their beds
and danced upon the floor.
With a ping and a pang the fiddle-strings broke!
the cow jumped over the Moon,
And the little dog laughed to see such fun,
And the Saturday dish went off at a run
with the silver Sunday spoon.
The round Moon rolled behind the hill,
as the Sun raised up her head.
She hardly believed her fiery eyes;
For though it was day, to her surprise
they all went back to bed!
He sits down and has another pint, generously tips the barmaid, then goes out with a wad of pipeweed.
Eruwen got a hold of Claw before she had made too much of a mess in the kitchen, and returned just in time to enjoy her drink. "Ah, thank you, Grondy!" she said, tucking her nose deep into her glass. She took a deep breath, savoring the complex smells that were exhaled from the wine. As one of Thranduil's people, she knew how to appreciate good wine. She, too, swirled the wine around in her glass and nodding to Grondy, said, "Would you just look at the legs on that. Talk about aging nicely." Taking sip, she collapsed into her seat in ecstacy. "Now that I have the chance to actually enjoy the wine; it tastes so much better! Would you like to try some, Calin? Here have a sip of that!" she said pushing her glass toward him.
"You know what would go nicely with this, Grondy? Warg meat, marinated generously in Valinor vinegar with a touch of pipeweed pepper. Just imagine..." she sighed.
As she did this, a patron entered the inn and sang a song. She was enchanted by the song, tapping her foot as he sang, and she wondered if Claw was the cat he referred to. This made her a bit nervous though, since it implied Claw to be much more mischievous than she ever imagined.
Where is Laurel?
Eva is still staring after Gwaihir, not used to getting tips of any size, or even having the customers pay. Shaking herself out of her daze, she slips the coins into a jar under the bar that will go towards the next batch of groceries. "That was a nice song," she remarks to no one in particular. "It's a pity it doesn't actually count towards the proposed contest- I think we've only had one person other than me sing so far."
As eruwen pushes her glass towards him Calin pushes it back to her and shows her the bottle grondy gave him even if she wasnt paying attention. I already have my own eruwen and i would rather not deprive you of your treat.
"Your warg meat recipe sounds good to me Eruwen."
"Hey Ms. Eva, is that side of warg still hanging in the freezer or have we used it all? If any is left would you like to do a joint following Eruwens recipe?"
"Too bad that short figure left only drinking our common bar beer, had he waited he was due some of Gimli's Finest; oh well, maybe we'll catch him if and when he comes back."
Grondy the goblet is for you and I wouldn't mind a dram of that wine that the others seem to be having a pleasure of. I've been tracking a pack of orcs and when I finaly found them they had a hoard of treasures, most I gave back to the King, but I kept a few for friends, I count you as one of them. Anyone who does me a good turn I count as a friend.
Now would you and all the patrons be interested in this, and Maydmarion pulls out a box containing what looked like a cake. I thought this might be good after I've had a meal and I would like to share.
Elisa Took, one of the hobbits over in the Shire made this for me, it's made of some sort of bean they ground it down, it's very rich and sweet, please all of you, have a slice...Maydmarion cuts the cake and hands it out.
Calin trys some of the cake with a sip of the wine from downcellar. This is excellent. I think we should make this a special occasion meal for the special occasions of the inn. If we were judging I would give this a 9.5 because nothing is perfect.
Eva takes a sliver of the cake as she nods. "Yes, Mr. Grondy, I believe that we do have some Warg left. I'll get on Eruwen's warg recipie as soon as I finish this piece of cake."
"My favorite -- dessert before the meal, especially when it's as wonderful as this. Maydmarion, this cake is excellent. Compliments to the shire folk!" Eruwen finished the last bite and set the crumbs down for Claw to finish. "It certainly enhances the taste of this beautiful wine too." Eruwen leaned back in her chair and patted her stomach. "I sure am looking forward to that warg meat, Grondy and Eva. What a feast we are going to have! I haven't eaten like this since I left Mirkwood."
We should have a party more often, with each of us bringing something, be it food, a recipe, a game, or whatever you would like...
Ms Eva the coffee was superb and I would'nt say no to some warg met myself
"Thank you for this beautiful goblet Maydmarion, I'll save it for special occasions, like the drinking of this fine wine, and will remember you whenever I do," said the smiling Grondy . He then poured some of the wine for his friend, "Enjoy!"
"Caaakkke! Yes please! You can't say Grondy ever passed up a piece of cake when it was offered. Thank you. MMMnnn, that is good cake."
I dont think there will be any more contest entries coming in grondy. Ever since Eva did her poem no one has really tried. but mabye another contest or something else to mabye bring back customers?
Could we describe ourselves and pretend to be someone famous, the other patrons have to guess who we are??? Haven't thought out all the rules perhaps someone could come with some.
ie. certain amount of words, etc...
*gimli waves his hands in an arbitrary manner sorta towards grondy though not really*
Carry on carry on! Doing good! Great great.
Where the hell did I put my tankard??
*gimli sticks his head under the tap for a quick drink and then slides back under the bar to his normal resting spot*
"Welcome back Gimli, don't you remember, your tankard got crushed that time you tried to lift the house troll one handed and slipped. Oh well, all was not lost, for I tried to straighten it out; though now it does seem to dribble a bit, not that you'd notice, seeings how you drink from it anyway, like you wet your ears with each and every swig."
"Yes, it looks like the Tavern Song Contest went over like a mithril balloon. Still I'll leave it open until Midnight (GMT) Tuesday, just in case someone has been procrastinating; and will anounce the winner on Friday. Due to the dearth of entries, I will be the sole judge and all decisions will be final."
"A Guess Who I Am? contest might work better as a game in the Ivy Bush Tavern, though it does have possiblities. Please see if you can come up with rules and methodology to hold it in either venue."
Hello Gimli, nice to meet you, have heard a lot about you. Have a drink on me and as I have just given a gift to Grondy I may as well give the other gift I have in my bag to you as you're tankard is crushed. I'm sorry it's not a mithril one like Grondy's but there was only one of those. Maymarion places a large silver tankard with elvish script carved around the base. The script is an elvish blessing....
May your drink be as good as the company you keep
May your life be filled with good company
And your tankard filled with good drink
Welcome back to your inn Gimli. It is nice to meet the creator of this inn. I think your work is very nice and hope to see you around more.
Eva walks in with a platter of marinated warg meat. She almost dropped it when she heard the others welcoming Gimli, the actual owner of the Inn! She managed to maintain her composure, however. She came up to the counter and asked "Does anyone want some of this warg? How about you, Lady Eruwen? You suggested it, after all."
Eruwen jumped up for the first slab of warg meat, leaping over the table with ease in her excitement. "Oooo, I would love some, Eva! I've saved just enough of this great wine to wash it down with." She made her way up to the counter, pushing several patrons out of her way to get to the front.
before i forget. Grondy i think Gimli should have some of the wine that was found downstairs. After all this is his inn and I think he is deserving of it.
"Okay Robbin, I'll tuck a bottle under his arm, but hide the corkscrew in case he wants to drink it upon waking, so as not to let him waste such a fine vintage while under the anfluence of incahol."
"Anyone want to split a slab of that delicious smelling marinated warg meat? I don't think I could eat one all by myself. My eyes aren't that big."
*gimli jumps up to accept the wonderful tankard given to him by Maydmarion with great humility.*
wow.. Thank you ever so much! I will definatly make good use of it!
I promise to never let it sit full too long... well.. at all really!
*gimli nods to robbin and eva*
Pleased to meet you both! I hope I haven't been to offending with my occasional snoring.. I don't think I snore, but grondy swears I do...
mmm.. do I smell warg meat? and whats this under my arm??? mmm looks to be something a bit higher class than I am used to. Perhaps I should leave it in the care of my good friend grondy to keep for me so I don't finish it off in a moment of drunkeness!
well... thats it... I've been away long enough... A round of drinks on me!
*checks his pocket book to make sure he can cover that*
oh who cares, you only live once!
UM... Thanks but Gimli.. do you really have to pay for drinks at your own inn. isnt there some rule against you having to pay for your own ale and whatever else you serve.
Calin then goes back to nursing his new mug as he thinks about everything that had just hapened.
"If the hired help, owner included, drink up all the profits there won't be enough left in tthe till to pay for supplies to restock the larder and wine cellar. Besides if we don't pay for our own drinks the books at the end of the month start to look like those of Worldcom and Enron, and we mustn't have that.
You will also notice the low pressure tactics we use to ensure that no one's bar tab exceeds the GNP of Umbar, in that no one has been refused service and all accounts receivable are minimal. Each and everyone of our guests have been paying enough to keep us solvent and we have never had to break an arm or cut off service; though we had to get a small damage deposit from Loni as insurance just in case she damages the property of one of our guests during one of her hilarious outbursts.
Anyone in need of a refill?"
oh in that case, I will take another one. and i didnt know running an inn could be so taxing on the brain. mabye the head but not the brain.
well, as my brain only thinks of one thing... a full tankard of beer......
Here you go gents, a refill for each of you and a bowl of cheese flavored popcorn to give your fingers something to do in between drinks. Enjoy!
ANNOUNCING THE WINNER OF THE KHAZAD-DUMISH INN SONG CONTEST
I Grondy being sober and in sound mind and in excellent spirits have deemed
The Khazad-dumish Inn Song by Eva lilith
to be the winner. And the prize is: Dinner for two here at the inn (she won't be cooking that night), another bottle of the excelent fine wine we found in the second cellar, as well as her choice of breakfast in bed, a bouquet of roses, or a grease job and horseshoe rotation from Honest Gorbag's Garage and Emporium.
Well done Eva!
Well done Eva !!!!! you deserve the food and the night off
who will you take with you?
"Thank you! I'll have to think about who to take... I don't know anyone very well..."
"Now then, I'm about to tap another keg of Gimli's Finest; anyone care for another tankard," says Grondy, "just yell out if you do?" As he rams home the bung and reaches for a glass to sample the fine ale, he thinks to himself, "This glass is for quality control only, you understand." "Ahhh, that's still mighty good stuff. I'm now off to the kitchen to see about rustling up some Barbecued Oliphaunt Ribs."
I would love a tankard of that ale, but please if you see me drinking too much let me know - you know what happened last time. That als is really good but should carry a warning, (Maydmarion starts laughing).
Has anyone got any local news (meaning gossip) I could do with a good chat.
"Here's your tankard Maydmarion.
I heard the village idiot, you know, the tinkers son, I heard he tried to roast mashmallows thru the bars of Amarië's Balrog cage. He probably would have been all right had he not poked the Balrog with his marshmallow skewer. As it was, he singed his hair and lost his eyebrows; lucky he didn't lose bore more than that. Andall along there was a sign saying 'Beware the Balrog', so it wasn't like he wasn't warned." And rolling his eyes Grondy concluded, "Some people's kids!"
Eva was somewhat distressed at the prize for the contest, as she had no idea who to take to the dinner for two, and didn't want to seem selfish by asking for two dinners for one. She was so distracted that she didn't watch what she was doing in the kitchen, which is never a good thing in a place like the Khaz-Dumish...
OOC: Hello?... anyone there?
"Well you could always order two dinners, eat one, and take one in a box for eating on the road the next time you leave town. Or you can eat one and instead of the second, choose one of our spiffy purple baseball hats with the logo of Khazad-dűmish Inn embroidered on it in living colour*. Or instead of the Dinner for Two prize you may choose our $26 gift certificate which can be applied towards the purchase of the other fine selections found in our Potty Old Dwarven Gift Shoppe; though it is mightily understocked at the present.
And can I interest you in some Bar-B-Qued Warg Ribs or pink lemonaide?"
(*Has yet to be and may never be designed, but would be fun to have one. Same about a hat with the Planet-Tolkien logo on it. )
The long-forgotten and veeeeeery long sleeping body of Icefangs stirs. "What the 'ell?" she mutters and gets unsteadily to her feet. Ice walks over to the bar and passes, her head banging the top of the counter.
"Well, Mr. Grondy, I would feel selfish using up the whole prize myself when it's supposed to be dinner for two. But maybe I wouldn't have to eat it with them... like, Miss Icy there looks like she could maybe use some food..."
Eruwen stirred out of her warg food coma and looked over at Eva. "I think I have enough room to share a dinner for two now, Eva. Would you be interested in dining with me?" She brushed her long, silver hair out of her face, and retied the black leather knot holding it back. "Of course, I'm no handsome male elf, but I clean up fairly well," she said with a bright smile. "Come on, you can tell me about your life, and I will sit back and listen." She motioned to her to have a seat next to her.
"Grondy, anymore of that fine wine available for a small fee?" she said, batting her eyelashes at the kind innkeeper, attempting to look as innocent as possible...well as possible as it is for a murderess to look.
"Aye Eruwen, there's a tad bit left. Let me just get the bottle from whence I stowed it behind the bar." Soon Grondy returns with a flute stemed crystal goblet containing the marvelous beverage which he set before the elven lady. "There you go marm, enjoy!"
"Did you have a nice nap, Icefangs?"
(*Has yet to be and may never be designed, but would be fun to have one. Same about a hat with the Planet-Tolkien logo on it. )
that would be great....
Maydmarion stands up and hiccups and sits down with a red face as she looks around at the other patrons and giggles.
Please can I have some of those nice b-b-q warg ribs, I'm getting a bit hungry and I need to soak up some of the ale....also some of the pink lemonade might be nice....Maymarion hiccups again and starts a bout of giggling, which didn't look as though it was going to stop....... hic hic
Grondy rustled up a plate of b-b-q warg ribs, a baked tater with sour cream on the side, and some stewed zuchinni and as he was leaving the kitchen grabbed and a clean dish towel which he lightly dampened. He proceded to Maydmarions table and set the plate before her along with some silverware. "This here towel's for your fingers after you've licked-off all the good stuff," he said saucily.
(Grondy read Tom Swift during his formative years and that ending is known as a Tom Swifty.)
Calin looks at marions plate as it comes out and sees whats on it. Grondy i think i will have the same as marion please. If it tastes as good as it looks then it will be fantastic.
sorry about the 4 word post but as i was typing the post the bell rang and had to make it short and sweet.
"It smells good too, Calin and here's some for you too. And a tankard of Gimi's Finest™ to ease it on down."
"I'm fixing some baked acorn squash for later this evening, so you all may want to save room for some. Going to split and gut 'em and place the halves on a baking sheet at 350° F for about an hour; then a dab of butter, a teaspoon of brown sugar in each, and serve 'em with a spoon in their half shells. Darn good stuff."
(Your apology is accepted Robbiniwood, don't worry about it. You may wish delete that post, if you do, I will edit the others to remove the resulting remarks.)
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“Um... sure, Lady Eruwen. That is, I’d be glad to share my prize meal with you. I mean, if you really want to... okay.
OOC: sorry I’ve been gone so long. Don’t know how often I’ll be able to get on this summer, kind of busy, but I’ll try. Eruwen, if you really want that conversation you’ll have to give me a little bit to put my back story together consistent with Middle-Earth.