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Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.

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Bottom of Page    Message Board > Roleplaying Guilds > The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.   << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] >>
*Wondering how the fish managed to fly, Aethar used his bow to turn it into a pincusion, then brought it inside, stuffed it full of wet rags, removed the arrows, and mounted it on the wall.*
That was impressive., but uncalled for. Frowny face.
Grondy said, "That'll larn 'im!"

"Aethar, that's the first time I ever saw someone shoot down a flying fish; they usually don't stay out of the water that long. And after eyeballing it, it don't measure up to the legal size for keepers, so were going to have throw it back." And reaching behind the bar, Grondy grabbed his pink umbrella and turned the mounted fish back into Ar-edain. "Now let that be a lesson to you, young'un," he added with a wink.

"Another round of Gimli's Finest is on the house, and I've made a new batch of split pea soup for this blustery day, if anyone is interested."
Fionwë was beat to the punch in getting the fish, so he decided that he needed to do something slightly more impressive. Grabbing his equipment, Fionwë called out, "I'm heading out to the woods for a while. I should be back in a few hours."
With that, he went out the door and rode off on Starmâene.
There goes the elf, trying to out-do me, you know I wasn't showing off, I was just annoyed by the flying fish.
*sits down at a table and lights up his pipe*
I'll have some of that soup if you don't mind.
"A bowl of my split pea soup for Smaug'll and a loaf of freshly baked dark rye bread with a crock of butter to go with it. Enjoy! Good sir. And don't worry about the competitiveness of some of my customers, that's just their nature.

If you'd care for a room to recuperate. sleep, or tidy-up in, don't hesitate to ask. We also have a weight room with stacks of out-dated magazines to lift, press, and read while waiting for your next adventure."
*CRASH*
There was a huge noise outside as something large fell down. Fionwë opened up the door and walked into the room. "Uh, Grondy, sorry about the little wheelbarrow outside. Someone left it out, and Starmaene tripped over it as we came back. Heh, I was maybe going a little too fast in returning. Anyways, the wheelbarrow is kindling now."
Fionwë stepped back outside, and presently another *bang* was heard as the back door was kicked open, and another *thump* as something heavy was put down against the wall in the backroom. Fionwë walked back into the front, saying, "I caught a huge monster a few miles away, off towards the mountains. He looked like a good catch, so I figured I'd bring him back. He is in the backroom now, and no, nothing is broken."
Taking a seat in one of the chairs, he muttered "I haven't seen a fish that big before in any rivers. The ocean yes, and much bigger, a river is unheard of though..."
Grondy went towards the backroom with the intention of checking out this fish-tale. Over his shoulder he yelled to Fionwë, 'I hope you cleaned and scaled it before you brought it in here, because I for one am not going to do it; and I hope you kept it cool transporting it here, Because I hate cooking fish that have turned, it gives the Inn a bad name, as well as a bad aroma,' and he disappeared into the backroom.
You realize that what you're talking about is practically cannibalism to me, right? I'm truly appalled.
"Hey Ar-Edain, I'm sorry if we offended you, but shape-changers should be careful as to their form when visiting the Inn, such that our over-zealous hunter-type customers don't mistakenly add them to our larder. And if they are related to the Balrog, Warg, or Fissheses that appear on our menu, they have my permission to abstain from the foods containing those ingredients. And you also have the right to give our tuna fish sandwiches a pass too.

I'd also suggest you not enter as a stalk of celery or a carrot, for some of our customers are Vegans, and having meatless diets they often are quite hungry and might overlook the sentience of the vegetable sitting in the corner, quietly sipping on one of our fine wines.

Now, can we change the water in your tank or would you like something different to drink or eat? It's on the house because we here at the Inn aim to please, and only meant to rattle your cage, not jerk your line such that you swallowed hook, line, and sinker."
"I'm not a shape changer! What are you talking about? Really, Grondy, I do wonder what you're putting in that ale sometimes." Ar-edain shook his head thoughtfully.
You aren't a shape changer, yet you managed to turn into a salmon. Hmm
'And then he has the audacity to complain when we fall for his illusion hook, line, and sinker. Or so it must have been if he didn't physically change shape; for my mama said fish can't walk on dry land, or into a barroom even. And only the ones in faery tales can talk, and I never heard of one what could fly more than a few feet out of the water upon getting up a head of steam prior to broaching. Or maybe he is just a figment of our imaginations and we should just ignore him in hopes that he will go away.' said Grondy with a twinkle in his eye and he winked at Ar-Edain. 'Me thinks if we had a third leg, he'd pull that one too.'
I must agree
*sits down in a corner and puffs at his pipe some more*
Fionwë just chuckled quietly as he watched the exchange going on in front of him. He noticed that the Inn was a tad limp these days. He wondered when the old activity, such as when he first came to the Inn, and the old patrons as well as the new, would come back...
Grondy went to the kitchen and brought out a two layer devil's food cake with fluffy white frosting, a stack of plates,and a bundle of forks, "Caaaake anyone?"
"Aye, I'll have a piece, Grondy," Fionwë said, looking eagerly at the delicious looking cake.
Ar-edain was irate. He stood up, hooted like a screech owl, and began to berate Grondmaster.
"A cake, with...with...with...layers! Is this some sort of bribe? What's in this confection concoction? It causes me to invoke caution!" Then the pupils of his eyes disappeared, and he began to stare straight ahead, chanting:

Beware of bearded dwarves
bearing tempting sweets
For you may be tricked
by bak'd treats!"

He then melted into the floor, leaving no detectable moisture behind.
After handing out cake to the takers, Grondy set up a portable fan and blew the ill wind out the door which he then shut with a bang. And laughing added, "Anyone want some vanilla ice cream with their cake?"
Ar-edain suddenly falls from the ceiling with a thud. After brushing himself off, he begins to sing energetically:

Up in the morning and out to school
Mother says therell be no work next year
Qualifications once the golden rule
Are now just pieces of paper

Just because youre better than me
Doesnt mean Im lazy
Just because youre going forwards
Doesnt mean Im going backwards

If you look the part youll get the job
In last years trousers and your old school shoes
The truth is son, its a buyers market
They can afford to pick and choose

Just because youre better than me
Doesnt mean Im lazy
Just because I dress like this
Doesnt mean Im a communist

The factories are closing and the armys full -
I dont know what Im going to do
But Ive come to see in the land of the free
Theres only a future for the chosen few

Just because youre better than me
Doesnt mean Im lazy
Just because youre going forwards
Doesnt mean Im going backwards

At twenty one youre on to of the scrapheap
At sixteen you were top of the class
All they taught you at school
Was how to be a good worker
The system has failed you, dont fail yourself

Just because youre better than me
Doesnt mean Im lazy
Just because youre going forwards
Doesnt mean Im going backwards


There! Much better than the song that I originally posted!
Good one Ar-Edain, I kept wanting to add every once in a while.

Quote:
Sha na na na, sha na na na na,
Sha na na na, sha na na na na,
Sha na na na, sha na na na na,
Sha na na na, sha na na na na,
Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip
Mum mum mum mum mum mum
Get a job Sha na na na, sha na na na na


Probably the wrong tune, but there it was, Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
OOC: things are kinda slow right now, any1 want to start an RP?
Managing to peel open an eyelid, Loss heard a voice on the wind that Grondy has a passion for double chocolate-chip, cocoa powered muffins... On hearing this he calls to Grondy, "What's the time Grondy?" Then pulls out a tatty old piece of paper from his bag... "Muffin Time!"

On giving the piece of paper to Grondy, Loss recites the very ancient recipe from memory...

"A thousand year old recipe for Muffins is hard to come by in Arda, so memorize it while you can...

First, Ingredients:

3 ounces of chocolate
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 eggs
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk
2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Chocolate chips, (preferably tonnes!!!)
As much cocoa powder as you like...

Secondly, the technique:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 C). Line 6 giant-size muffin cups with cupcake liners.
Melt the Chocolate in a saucepan at high temperature until it becomes thoroughly melted and completely smooth, stirring every so often, then set aside.
In a large bowl, mix the cream, sugar and butter. Beat in eggs, then add sour cream and milk. In a smaller bowl, stir together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Then pour the flour mixture into the butter mixture and stir together. Then add the melted chocolate and stir, then chocolate chips, as said before, preferably tonnes!!!
Fill each muffin cup about three-quarters of the way with the mixture, and if desired sprinkle some more chocolate chips over top. (Of course it's desired, sprinkle tonnes!!!). Then, bake for 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool the giant muffins to a safe place to cool, whilst adding as much cocoa powder as desired... And of course, they are better eaten fresh!

You had better get cracking on them then Grondy, the old addiction to these monster-muffins is coming swiftly, and we all know that six muffins simply aren't enough, so quadruple the amount of ingredients and you'll get 24 of these....................... Giant........................... Double Chocolate-Chip........................ Cocoa Powdered...................... Muffins....................

My mouth is watering just repeating it."

*Wipes saliva from mouth* Orc Smiling Smilie
Yummy, sounds like a good recipe...

Out of nowhere, Laurel, a former patron and barmaid who had met an untimely end involving wargs, who was now a poltergeist bent on occasionally torturing the unsuspecting souls who were only trying to wet their whistles, came flying out of the far reaches of the inn's interior, intent on stirring up some fun. Fun, at least for her. She slunk her incorporeal self down the hallway towards the tavern, hearing songs and recipe recitals as she neared. "Going soft around here." Contrary to what a lot of folks think, a person's voice does not change and become exaggerated moaning once they die so Laurel still sounded like herself and hoped Grondy hadn't heard her, or else she would lose the valuable element of surprise. She kept low to the floor, slid behind the bar and..."BOO!" She yelled in Grondy's ear, waved to him coyly at his shocked look, then disappeared. She would be back for more later...
"Maybe add some frosting to the Muffins for our new ghoulish lodger" Orc Smiling Smilie
When Grondy came to himself, he was sitting on the floor behind the bar holding his chest, :'Oh! that was quite a shock. Not the recipe, but the Shade of Laurel suddenly appearing out of the blue and disappearing after half frightening me to death. It's enough to drive me to drink,' and he poured himself a shot of Double Malt Firewater and added a tankard of Gimli's Finest™ Ale for Loss in recognition of the recipe. 'I didn't even know she had departed this life. May she rest in peace.'

'Now out to the kitchen to whip up a bunch of yummy muffins. I think that better be buttery vanilla frosting Loss, else we might be accused of chocolaty overkill,' he added with a grin.
When Grondy returned from the kitchen with melted chocolate chips and crumbs in his beard, he was wearing a broad smile on his face and carrying a large tray piled high with Frosted Double Chocolate Chip Cocoa Powered Muffins, which he placed at the end of the bar and then he added a sign that read, "Bet you can't eat one".....and in smaller print "and only one.."

'Thanks Loss.'
On smelling the sweet sweet smell of hot mouth-watering chocolatey muffins... *wipes saliva* Loss prepared himself for the integrity lesson of a lifetime, he taken a swig of his tankard of Gimli's Finest™ Ale (of which couldn't be done without it) and taken a deep breath...

"Ahh, the muffins are done, I was afraid that they weren't coming... then the smell hit me, I could first smell the chocolate and frosting on your beard, then the plate! Thank you Grondy, I have been mentally slapping my hand to stop it crawling along the floor towards the kitchen! Good idea with the sign, it will give another mental slap to stop me from taking more! Now Gimme Gimme Gimme!!"

Then Loss taken one (and a plate of course, don't want crumbs everywhere now) and carefully placed it infront of him, guarding it from any ghouls or mischievous faeries... "Compliments to the chef!" Then starting eating most joyously...
One tasty muffin rose into the air, unseen by all, and made its way into a dark corner, got bitten in half, then chucked at the indulging Loss' head. "Mwa-hahahahahaha!" echoed through the room for a moment, before fading away.

Yup, Grondy, I killed off Laurel on page 56...I didn't like her much anyway. Smile Smilie Now she can just be an annoying anomaly of the Inn from time to time, just to stir up some trouble/fun.
BUMP!!!
Grondy having had no customers and having taken advantage of that fact to do the Spring cleaning, had settled down for a long afternoon's nap, when he awoke with a start. 'What was that!' He rubbed his eyes and looked around, but hadn't yet seen any cause of the loud noise that awoke him.
Suddenly a fat dwarf came rolling down the stairs, followed closely by Aethar who was wielding a rather menacing chair leg.
"That'll learn ya, dwarf, for invading my room and breaking my favorite chair!"
The dwarf came to rest right in front of Grondy and began spluttering for help.
Grabbing the Dwarf by the ear, Grondy exclaimned, 'Explain yourself cousin, (I say cousin due to our race, not that we might be kinfolk). Who are you and what were you doing in Aethar's room?'
"He was snooping through my personal belongings, he even succeeded in destroying a very old elven manuscript, luckily I had the entire manuscript memorized."
Aethar held up an old, dusty, crackling parchment which was now smeared with the grease from the dwarf's hands, all of the ink was smudged as well.
"In addition, upon my entering of the room, he proceeded to fall onto my favorite chair; which is the reason why I am holding this chair leg. I had a mind to run him through, but such an action would not be fitting for this time and place"
'As the Dwarf isn't saying anything in his/her defence, possibly he/she is can't speak, let us set writing implements afore it and see if we can get some responce from it.'

'Who are you and why were you rumaging through this good elf's belongings? If you needed food you had only to ask and if it was money you were after, there is always work to be done around the inn for which wages as well as room and board are available. Now say something or write something in your favor or we'll have to lock you up while we wait for the King's Keeper of Justice to make his rounds; and he isn't expected until after the Summer Harvest'
Finally the dwarf got up, and dusted himself off
"Actually, as you can see, he's one of them rangers. As for why i was in his things, it is not your business, it is between this imposter and myself."
The dwarf said in a huff.
Grondy grabbed his pink umbrella from behind the bar and pointed it at the Dwarf, 'Ah, but you see it is my business, because it is occurring in the Inn where my guests rely on more than a modicum of privacy. I can't be having every Dom, Nick, or Larry ransacking their rooms. So unless you have a King's Warrant authorizing you to search where you will, I'm going to have to hold you. Now, would you like to try again with your answer?''
While her ignoring her usual entrance this time around, Icefangs simply phases through the door and, while transparent and nearly invisible, sidles up to the bar, and sits down. She makes a grand show of becoming visible once more, causing bright fire to spring up all around her, in, obviously, pastel colors. Once the fog clears, Ice is seen sitting at the bar, with her back to it, leaning against it, grinning from ear to ear.

"So how it goes everbody?!"
'Howdy your Blueness, welcome back. Things have been quiet around here except for this mute Dwarf that was caught rifling through the belongings of one of our guests. What have you been up to and what can I get you to eat or drink?'
"Well," she says with a smile, "my story is too long to tell, suffice to say that where I've been, I've aged a lot." Ice crosses her arms on the bar, leaning on them and says, "I'd like some of Gimli's Finest! and a bit of whatever today's special is..."

"And about that dwarf...mute? Really? You don't seem to run across many of those...least not where I came from...around here it seems to be pattern..."
Aethar grabbed the dwarf by the scruff of the neck, picked him up, and looked him in the eye.
"Prehaps dismemberment is the best means of getting information out of this... thing."
'Maybe he has been eating Hagrid's Toffee™ and his teeth are stuck together. Dismemberment seems a little drastic as well as a bit messy for dis-memory. Lock him in yon cupboard ad feed him asparagus, broccoli, and cabbage and we'll soon see if he can sing a tune.'

Here's a tankard of Gimli's Finest™ and a toasted pastrami and swiss cheese on rye sandwich for you Icefangs.
Aethar shoved the dwarf into the cupboard and began to shove assorted vegetables down his throat, not stopping until the dwarf was bloated with vegetables. Aethar then locked the closet so that the dwarf could not escape.
Welcome back, Icefangs! Even though you probably won't come back and read this and I have nothing clever or releveant to say, I am very, very far from Germany.

Ar-edain does something unrealistic or inappropriate with consequences that are confusing and retroactive in his excitement to see that Icefangs has returned. Or maybe he just wants the sandwich...no, he's glad she's back.
Etharion got up from the floor in some distant corner, dusted himself off and yawned. Making his way over to the bar he saw many familiar faces he last saw like...a eon ago or so.
"Grondy!! Icefangs!! Everybody!! Who else is here?! Master dwarfm how fare you? Icefangs..you look as lovely as always. How are you?"
Grondy drew a tankard of Gimli's Finest™ Ale for Etharion and set it before him, 'Pretty much the same Etharion, and yourself?'

Then he made a peanut butter and strawberry preserves sandwich and poured a glass of milk for the prisoner and opened the closet and gave it to him saying, 'Knock on the door when you need to go to the little boy's room and I'll walk you there. Meanwhile here's your lunch.
Welcome back, Etharion! Who else is hiding in here?
I think our 'prisoner' has fallen asleep, he seems to be awful comfortable in that cupboard.
"I'll check on him."

Grondy opens the cupboard and finds it empty. "Oh golly gee whiz fudge, I forgot about the secret panel in the back. He's gone and probably gone to earth by now, and he took my milk-glass with him too, the cheeky blighter."
.
Ice shakes herself awake and grins from ear to ear. "ETHY!!! I'm great, how are you?" she squeals happily. She shifts on her stool to look at him, and smiles once more. "It's been a long time friend," she says softly, then takes a sip of her drink. Following the incident of the prisoner in, then not in, the closet, Ice just shakes her head.

I was at my mom's sorry...forgot to check back..heh heh lawlz
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