Login | Register
 
Message Board | Latest Posts | Your Recent Posts | Rules

Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.

Is this discussion interesting? Share it on Twitter!

Bottom of Page    Message Board > Roleplaying Guilds > The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.   << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] >>
Airecristiel sits down to drink her pint of ale close to Sepdet. She feels quite lonely and humiliated and to easen up the feeling she drinks her pint of ale and then turns to Sepdet.

"Woaw, I've gotta say, I really liked what you declaimed! It was really good! Do you write a lot?"

Aire offers Sepdet some Balrogwings.

"Yum, these are really crunchy!! Big Smile Smilie"
*gimli comes rushing out from the kitchen with more ale, wings, and toes*

Here we are my friends. Enjoy!!!

Now then.. whos first at throwing their axe. Perhaps we should draw straws first? We could always toss a dwarf to see who goes first... er... just not me!
"I always like a round of axe throwing" says dar as he grabs a handful of toes.
Aulė weeps because no one likes him, and then he runs out of this cursed inn.....because it is cursed from now on!!!
Aulė will never come back but accident will happen once in a while!
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
awwwwww... Gimli throws an axe at the door... you aren't getting away that easily.....
The curse on the Khazad-dumish Inn has started revealing itself!Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Gimli“s axe flew right into the supporting wall on the east side of the Inn and the roof on that side collapsed!
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Gimli is warned and has been earlier to make his creator, the Vala Aulė, mad!Very Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
He has now become furious on Gimli and has cursed the place!Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Very Evil SmilieVery Evil SmilieVery Evil Smilie
Lighening Smilie Grondy says 'It is time for all good patrons of this, Gimli's fine inn, to once again disbelieve in Aulė, the minor godlette. This will result in sending him back to the void and repairing any damage that has occurred while he has been creeping around. If Aulė persists in throwing his light (or dark) weight around on his return, we might have to attach a chain to keep him away. So Angry Smilie

"We like this taven, its clientele, and its proprietor so don't mess with it!" Lighening Smilie
I

*throws her I-never-miss axe at Aule*
(you deserved it I figured Animated Wink Smilie Very Big Grin Smilie )

*starts rebuilding the inn with Gimli and Grond*
*inn looks brand new and better than ever*
*drinks on me*
*off* Big Smile Smilie
"Well you don't see that everyday Bub" laughed dar as he grabbed a pint..."small demi gods being banished and an inn being rebuilt in record time...something smells fishy here!!!!"
Dar then paced his hand in his pocket and produced a fish.."Ohh that was me. nenenenenenenenene" laughed Dar
Aulė lifted his curse from the inn but inscribed this postBody in the wall: I got bullied the instant I arrived in the pub and therefore I have left to never return....Neither shall anyone hear from me ever again...(in this thread not from PT:PSmile Smilie
Aule: We would rather that you be a tad bit less over-bearing in the future and if you ever want to come back, I'll stand you to a pint or two. Cool Elf Smilie
"But what I want to know is where did this fish come from...and why is that hedgehog nibbling my toe!!!!!!"
And so the hedgehog continued it evil attack.
Yo everyone! It wasn“t I who tried to wreck this wonderful inn! It was Melkor Morgoth Bauglir who impersonated me and made this crap!!! All well?
If so then I would like to make an order...

Yo Gimli! Do you have some dragon tails? or Nazgūl haggis?

I sure am hungry....what you got in store Gimli?
'Hey Aulė, if you're peckish you ought to try some of this chipped troll on toast. Tad bit crunchy, but very flavorful,' Grondy said, wiping the tears from his eyes on his sequined sleeve. 'Don't know what kind of peppers were used to make it so hot, maybe Gimli bought a bottle of Beorn's Bubbling Black Balrog Squeezings. ®'

'You ready for a pint?'

'Yo Gimli, draw a pint of your best ale for Aulė here; put it on my tab.'
One pint coming up! hmmm... dragon tails.. let me see...

*goes into the kitchen to see whats around*

AH.. here we are. one bucket of Dragon tails for the lesser god with the tail between its legs.. Wink Smilie

and an Ale for my friends grondy and tommie for stickin up for the inn!
"Yes yes I now that things bad happened but let“s leave that behind us....." Aulė said....trying the Uroloki tails and blimy it was hot!! Gimli what spicies do you have in this..Aulė asks as he grabs the pint of Ale carried to him and quenches the steaming hot throat!!
fresh ground balrog...er..... nevermind you probably dont want to know..
"Oh so it is tipped with some grinded Valarauka? damn it was hot.......hey don“t we have any entertainment in this wonderful and magnificient inn?"
Hi there all. Haven't been in for a drink in ages! I could sure use one!

*looks meaningfully at the bartender

*suddenly realises that everyone is looking for some kind of entertainment...

Since singing is not really my strong point, can I read you something:

Mulga Bill's Bicycle, by A.B. Patterson

'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that cought the cycling craze;
He turned away the good old horse that served him many days;
He dressed himself in cycling clothes, resplendent to be seen;
He huried off to town and bought a shining new machine;
And as he wheeled it through the door, with air of lordly pride,
The grinning shop assistant said, "Excuse me, can you ride?"

* waits for audience reaction before continuing....
Grondy crawls from beneath a table and says

The biker eyed the cups and plates and tiny figurines,
'To buy your stock of nacks and nick is quite above my means.'
He grabbed his lengthy greying beard and gave a little pull;
Saying, 'If I were to ride in here you'd think I was a bull.' Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

Then Grondy collapsed into the nearest chair and doffed his hat to the fair Allyssa saying, 'Oops pardon me! and pray continue with your story.' :elfembar:



[Edited on 12/6/2003 by Grondmaster]
Big Laugh Smilie I think I like your version of the peom better, Grondy. But here is the real next verse:

"See here, young man," said Mulga Bill, "From Walgett to the sea,
From Conroy's Gap to Castlereagh, there's none can ride like me.
I'm good all round at everything, as everybody knows,
Although I'm not one the to talk - I hate a man that blows.
But riding is my special gift, my chiefest sole delight;
Just ask a wild duck can it swim, a wild cat can if fight.
There's nothing clothed in hair or hide, or built of flesh or steel,
There's nothing walks or jumps or runs, on axle, hoof or wheel,
But what I'll sit, while hide will hold and girths and straps are tight:
I'll ride this here two wheeled concern right straight away at sight."

[Edited on 12/6/2003 by Allyssa]
Bravo Bravo!!! Free drinks all around!

I swear im gonna go out of business with all these free drinks! BUT no matter! A wionderful poem from an old friend that stays away from this inn far to often!
*feels encouraged Big Smile Smilie

T'was Mulga Bill from Eaglehawk, that sought his own abode,
That perched above the Dead Man's Creek, beside the mountain road.
He turned the cycle down the hill and mounted for the fray,
But ere he'd gone a dozen yards it bolted clean away.
It left the track, and through the trees, just like a silver streak,
It whistled down the the awful slope, towards the Dead Man's Creek.

It shaved a stump by half an inch, it dodged a big white-box:
The very wallaroos in fright went scrambling up the rocks,
The wombats hiding in their caves dug deeper underground,
As Mulga Bill, as white as chalk, sat tight to every bound,.
It struck a stone and gave a spring that cleared a fallen tree,
It raced beside a precipice as close as close could be;
And then as Mulga Bill let out one last despairing shriek
It made a leap of twenty feet into the Dead Man's Creek.

T'was Mulga Bill from Eaglehawk, that slowly swam ashore:
He said, "I've had some narrer shaves and lively rides before;
I've rode a wild bull round a yard to win a five pound bet,
But this was the most awful ride that I've encountered yet.
I'll give that two-wheeled outlaw best; it's shaken all me nerve
To feel it whistle throught the air and plunge and buck and swerve.
It's safe at rest in Dead Man's Creek, we'll leave it lying still;
A horse's back is good enough henceforth for Mulga Bill."


the end Big Laugh Smilie
'What a great story.'

'Yo! Gimli, pull a another brew fer Miss Allyssa the telling of that tale dried out her whistle. You best put it on my tab, 'cause I wouldn't want you to go out of business fer too many on the housers.'
Thanx Grondy!

Here you go Allyssa! You've out done yourself once again!
dar looks up from the attack of the hegdehogs "free booze wooh hooh"
'Hey there Mr. Darous, does your pet hedgehog do any other tricks besides "The toe-jam-lick." Like we haven't seen a soft-shoe or break-dance in here for ages; or maybe it mimes Hamlet's soliloquy?' Cool Elf Smilie
"Well Grondy if ya dangle some rings around the place he turns blue and starts to spinball about...but then guy comes around floating in some ship and starts suckin' up alll the wee furry animals...but its worth it."
*starts dangling rings about*



Turns blue huh.. cool!
Suddenly, up at the bar, there is a loud over dramatic POOF noise and a rather large cloud of black 'n' sparkly smoke poofs into existence. The smoke clears, only to reveal a terrifyingly familier figure sitting cross legged on a stool. Her eyes glow red and the effect is only slightly spoilt by the bandages wrapped around her otherwise bare feet.
Strange noises start up in the celler, the walls start bleeding, a bowl of crispy orc toes gets up and makes a break for freedom. And most terrifyingly of all...ONE OF THE WALLS TURNS TO STRAWBERRY JELLY (how its supporting the building we may never know!)
The figure starts giggling manicly and does a spontaniouse happy dance on her bar stool.
"I'm baaaaack! And just when you thought you'd got rid of me for good! Bwahahahaha!!!!" Disturbed Smilie
'Welcome back Mizz Halo,' says the Grondy, 'looks like you did one of your happy dances on a bed of glass shards, nicking your feed in a few dozen places. Gimli, a pint of Pond Scum for our young friend here, unless she wants something stronger, like a Martuna*.


* 9 parts Gin, 1 part vermouth, and a live goldfish to garnish and stir.
Dar slowlys moves to the jelly wall and whips out a tub or raspberry ripple ice cream and starts to munch away at the wall.
Tommie sticks her head in again and sees Halo's back, which is of course very good. Big Smile Smilie Welcome back, Halo!! Missed ya! *hands Halo a nice pint of ale and a plate of Dragon Tails*

*spots Darous eating the jelly wall*
*yells at Darous: "You nut! Stop eating that jelly! It's a supporting wall!! We've only just rebuilt the inn, and I'm not planning to rebuild it again! Here, have some jelly out of the kitchen! Gift for you."*
"Wall jelly" drooled Dar as he munched at it. Then he heard Tom shouting at him..."But its so yummy" then he spots the free jelly "Woohooh free jelly" as he grabbed the bowl and started muunching.
*sighs a sigh of huge relief*
Thank you Darous! Animated Wink Smilie

Well one last big round of drinks on me, before I leave on holiday. I'll be doing some sightseeing around the Havens and Valinor, and then maybe I'll go and see a few of my old pals, and when there's time left I might even take Goldie with me on a trip to Mordor, visiting good old One Eye's last castle. So I'll see you all after the holidays, I hope to come back in three or four week's time. Have great holidays everyone, cheers! Big Smile Smilie Dunce Smilie
As Tom was leaving dar threw a bottle of Jb Toms way.
"I was keepin' this for a special occaanison but here ya go have a nice one."
*catches the bottle of Jb* Cool Smilie

Thanks Dar! Really going now! Smoke Smilie
but... but... I don't have any gold fish!! all I had were orc toes and they've all run away now Sad Smilie


HULLO HALO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tongue Smilie How are you haven't seen you in my Inn in ages.. Do you need a room? I can have one ready for you in a few minutes... you have to promise not to scare away my appetizers though... Wink Smilie
"What! No goldfish!" says the Grondy, "Well, maybe I could modify the receipe to include silverfish as an alternative, I know you have plenty of those, for I saw some scurrying around upstairs in the back of my room's wardrobe. Must be time to call in the exterminator again.

Speaking of exterminators, I heard a rumour that Gollum is branching out into that field now. Seems his mushroom franchise is doing well as he found a market for the lethal toadstools as well as the edible fungii. How he can tell them apart is beyond me. Anyway you might give him a yell, unless the vermin are paying customers. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

And that reminds me, here's a little something towards my tab. Don't spend it all in one place," say the Grondy handing over a small bag of coins to Gimli.



Why thank you grondy.. I do believe you are the first person to ever pay for anything in here!


as for Gollum.. sounds like a plan to me... as long as he leaves the fungi at home.. YUCK......


hmmm silverfish.. yea.. we have those.. moths too if you wish Wink Smilie
Halo looks up from gnawing on her Dragon Tails
"Silverfish instead of Gold fish?!? Pure insanity! everyone knows you use silverfish in stews!" Halo leans over the counter and hands Gimli a long orange object. "Here, use this carrot as a goldfish substitute, if you cut it right no-one will know the difference!"
she takes a swig of her drink and chucks a dragon tail to the little black and white cat purring around her legs
"Ooh, Tom's going on holiday? Have a good time and don't forget to bring back sticks of rock for everyone! Did you say something about a room Gimli? I could use a place to rest up...th' doctor says I gotta keep my feet up and get plenty of rest."
Behind her the jelly-wall starts to cange colour till it turns into Magical-Psycadelic-Disco Lights-Jelly.
"Hmmm...so second thoughts s*d the resting and elevating. I have the sudden urge to SING! Come Bunny!"
Halo scoops up the cat and strides towards the microphone; fire in her eyes, wind in her hair and dragon tail sticking out of the corner of her mouth. As she walks up to the mike (failing to notice the small trail of blood left behind her, from her sore tootsies) someone realises whats about to happen and shouts a warning!
gasps of horror can be heard through-out the inn and several people get trampled as they crowd around the Ear-Plug Despencer.
"Huh...now what should I sing?"
Cat Smilie "Meow? Mew mew!"
"Don't be stupid bunny, this is neither the time nor the place for the goblin-song. Plus I'm not drunk enough!" Orc Grinning Smilie
Finaly, after a long winded and mildly disterbing conversation with her cat, Halo opened her mouth and began to belt out one of her fave drinking songs. Why is it her fave dringing song? Well just you try drinking it when your drunk; fun for all the family, honest!

"Robin Hood, Robin Hood,
Riding through the glen,
Robin Hood, Robin Hood,
With his band of men,
Feared by the bad, loved by the good,
Robin Hood! Robin Hood! Robin Hood!

He called the greatest archers
To a tavern on the green,
They vowed to help the people of the king,
They handled all the trouble
On the English country scene,
And still found plenty of time to sing.

Robin Hood, Robin Hood,
Riding through the glen,
Robin Hood, Robin Hood,
With his band of men,
Feared by the bad, loved by the good,
Robin Hood! Robin Hood! Robin Hood!"

Halo takes a bow and begines to walk back to the bar. Unfortunatly on the way there she trips on a discarded bowl of Wall/Jelly and falls through the trapdoor and into the beer celler thingie! Oops.
*gimli comes out from around the bar to dance to Halo's song.....*

Come on people... its DANCING time.. we gonna DANCING YEAAAAA. Tongue Smilie

ah damn... I left the carrot out.. hold on.. gotta go prepare that....
Sticks her head around the door again. Waving Hello Smilie

Short holiday behind me, long one still to come. Don't worry, I'm not staying. Big Smile Smilie

*hands out sticks of rock to everyone, especially Halo*
*gives a round of beer and pays for it* (just to please gimli)
*dances a little*
*gets back out again*

Bye again all, see you soon! Have fun, but behave, kiddo's, behave! Animated Wink Smilie
"Well that was short and sweet" grinned Dar as he munched on the rock
Beleg bumped into Bombadil on his way out. "Terribly sorry!" he said. He walked in. "Well, hello," Beleg said. Then he saw the sign. "Hmmmm..." he searched his thoughts for a song. "No song, no service" the barkeeper said. "Allright," Beleg replied. "I think I remember one--I learned it long ago, so a few bits might be rough..."

When traveling on the road, hey ho!
There’s nowhere better, hey ho!
Than a jolly good tavern
With Toby McNavern
And have a drink or so.

And have a drink, and have a drink
The only thing you could ever think
Is to have a drink, and have a drink
And have a drink or so.

When ships put into port, hey ho!
Where do the sailors go, hey ho!
But to find some friends
Until the night ends
And have a drink or so.

And have a drink, and have a drink
The only thing they can ever think
Is to have and drink, and have a drink,
And have a drink or so.

But when your home alone, hey ho!
And you don't have nowhere to go, hey ho!
Just find a buddy
Hope that he's funny
And nave a drink or so.

And have a drink, and have a drink
The only thing you could every think
Is to have a drink, and have a drink,
And have a drink or so.
Midst blowing on his hands after a heated bit of clapping towards the source of the last song, Grondy lets out with, 'Hey! Gimli, a pint of your best for the March-warden here, that was a great song. And I loved the way he plucked the beat on that great bow of his. Well done Beleg!'
Indeed Indeed!! here we go, one round on the house!

I am so going out of business if i keep this up... oh well. its more fun this way anyways Big Smile Smilie:
"Hey everyone!" shouts Tommie, walking through the door. "Back now. Drinks on me, and a little song to get you people going again 'cause you certainly look glum." Big Smile Smilie


Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Fal dee fal o ho ro, air fa la la lay

The song that I sing's a song
Of laughter and love
There's a tang o' the sea
And blue from heaven above
Of reason there's none and
Why should there be forby
With fire in my blood and toe
And a light in the eye

Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Fal dee fal o ho ro, air fa la la lay

The heather's ablaze with bloom
And the myrtle is sweet
There's a song in the air
The road's a song at our feet
So step it along as light
As a bird on the wing
And while we are stepping
We join our voices and sing

Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Fal dee fal o ho ro, air fa la la lay

And whether the blood be highland, lowland or no
And whether the skin be white or black as a sloe
Of kith and of kin where one be as right be as wrong
As long as our hearts be true to the lilt of a song

Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Hey fa la la lo, ho ro air fa la la lay
Fal dee fal o ho ro, air fa la la lay


Orc Grinning Smilie
  << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] >>