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What is the main elf in charges name?
well there isnt really an 'incharge elf' there have been the more wiser that can have more say in matters than others as they are more respected, but i suppose that Elrond does have a 'leadership' roll as he has the gift of forsight which many other elves do not, also Galadriel i think is a leader of some kind as everyone respects her and would not dare to question her

Also, there is the thinking of times as well, there is Finwë, Fëanor, Fingolfin, Fingon, Turgon and Ereinion Gil-galad the 6 Elf Lords of Nolder each in order of their rule, so there are many i suppose but not one main elf that rules everyone
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What is the main elf in charges name?

Ingwë is the High King of all Quendi, according to the Silmarillion.
Yeah, but he doesn't get out much. For that matter, neither does Finarfin (who's High King of the Noldor, but Ingwe remains High King of ALL Quendi.) It's like they've "delegated" their authority to Manwe, or possibly Varda. In Middle-earth during the War of the Ring I have to give the nod to Galadriel, since Elrond was just a sapling at the end of the First Age, while Galadriel had seen the Two Trees. Elrond's just more noticable because of his proximity to where all the action occurs.
As in all history, and we have about 8000 years worth here, it depends on what period in time you are wondering about. Some High Kings have been killed and some were/are in the Undying Lands (Valinor) where they no longer have any dealings with the Elves remaining in Middle-earth.
There is no main Elf in charge of all Elves.

Michael Martinez explored an interesting concept in one of his essays.(It's All in the Family: The Finweans) He wondered in the essay if elves under a certain authority, say Fëanor, gave their free will (authority) to their leader. This would in turn exalt that leader among his people and allow him to make decisions for all of them without dissension. The host of a king of elves was generally leader of an extended family and supporting friends with their own families. (What we think of as a large tribe and its ruling chieftain or king.)

So each elf "tribe" had its ruler and although it would defer to other elf rulers, their own ruler was the one who made decisions for them. Elrond was the leader of the Noldor in Middle Earth in the 3rd Age by his descent from the house of Finwë, Fingolfin, Turgon, Idril and finally Eärendel. Each tribe had its own leaders and with elves they were generally able to work together without petty disputes.
That's still problematic though, as Galadriel can also claim descent from Finwe and has the added advantage of not having mortal blood (how can a descendant of men be an Elven king?) They seem to have separate authority though, as Galadriel appears to have fully adopted her mothers people as her own, neatly resolving the problem. At least for Elrond, if not Thingol (and note that Elrond claims no authority over the Sindar though, if we are to accept his legitimacy via Elwing, he could.)
At the close of the Third Age, Galadriel had out-grown her desire for power, which brought her to Middle-earth in the first place; and there were so few Elves left in middle-earth that King/Queen of the Elves held no power anyway. So the answer depends not only when, but where, for in the West (Valinor) there remained Elves who had a greater claim than hers.
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At the close of the Third Age, Galadriel had out-grown her desire for power, which brought her to Middle-earth in the first place

According to the Silmarillion, at least.
Agreed. Galadriel seems to have learned humility by at least the time of the passing of the Fellowship through Lothlorien, and perhaps to feel a little of the fading of the Eldar in Middle-earth. After all, she was the last save for Elrond (who was an infant at the time) of the Noldor (or part Noldor) of the First Age and with the death of Celebrian all of her family save Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir and Celeborn were in Aman, and those others soon to be. And, as you rightly note again, in Aman her father was still High King of the Noldor and Ingwe (her great-grandfather?) High King of the Eldar.
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After all, she was the last save for the Elrond (who was an infant at the time) of the Noldor (or part Noldor) of the First Age and with the death of Celebrian all of her family save Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir and Celeborn were in Aman, and those others soon to be.

There were still some other High Elves left in Rivendell. Glorfindel, among others (maybe Erestor too) and others from Lindon who stayed with Elrond after he founded Rivendell during the war vs the Dark Lord in the Second Age, and maybe some refugees of Eregion.
When does Glorfindel return to Middle-earth though? I honestly don't know, but the window of opportunity following the fall of Gondolin for him to return is pretty small; Earendil was already walking and talking, after all. As for Eregion, I was pretty sure it was a Noldorin kingdom of the Second Age, and that Gondolin was the last of the Noldorin kingdoms of the First Age. I believe Morgoth has some motive and desire to want all the Noldor in captivity, as most of them ultimately were. There were Noldor, but precious few from the First Age; the only ones I recall in Middle-earth during the War of the Ring were Elrond, Galadriel and Glorfindel, and that last made a detour to the Halls of Mandos in the interim.
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When does Glorfindel return to Middle-earth though? I honestly don't know, but the window of opportunity following the fall of Gondolin for him to return is pretty small; Earendil was already walking and talking, after all.

I think in the 2nd Age, during the wars between Gil-galad and Sauron, but I'm not sure. It might be mentioned in UT.

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the only ones I recall in Middle-earth during the War of the Ring were Elrond, Galadriel and Glorfindel, and that last made a detour to the Halls of Mandos in the interim

Well if you were referring only to Noldor left from the First Age, then that's something else entirely - Galadriel & Glorfindel only, it seems, are named; I wouldn't call Elrond a Noldo, to me he's Peredhil.
Elrond was Noldo because he made the choice to become the elf side of his heritage, there may have been some prejudice in the fact that a half-elf was the ruling king of the Noldor in middle earth after the death of Gil-galad but I have never read of it in Tolkien's works. Elrond was also given the ring Vilya which has to stand for something as well.

Male elves gravitated toward group leadership positions because they generally fought the battles while women had their strengths and expertise in other areas.

There were about 800 Noldor who escaped the downfall of Gondolin and others of Noldor heritage who had escaped piecemeal from the destruction of their own realms. We only hear of the elven leadership in the stories of the Silmarillion but there were many others whom they led. Their stories were not told in the Silmarillion or LOTR but they were there.
Elrond chose to be among Elves, but that still doesn't make him an Elf. He can't change his lineage : he is the son of Eärendil - the son of Tuor & Idril - and Elwing - the daughter of Dior (the son of Beren & Lúthien) & Nimloth. His is still Half-Elven, even if he had made his choice.
I agree with Virumor about Elrond not being an Elf, he chose their destiney when it was offered him, but he was still Half-Elven as was Arwen, though they both had more than 50% Elven blood.

Didn't Cirdan remain in Middle-earth for a while longer or did he travel into the West with the Ringbearers?
I'd thought Cirdan went with the (other) Ringbearers; remember, he was the original possessor of Narya, and besides, his charge was the Grey Havens, and with the passing of the last Eldar to Aman he finally went himself. Or so I recall; it's been too long since I've actually sat down and read the Trilogy. I always seem to get distracted by the so much more epic Silmarillion.

And I really can't see Elrond as more than an equal to Galadriel (at best.) Sure, he had Vilya, but Nenya is hardly a bauble itself. In the end, the same preference I stated above just makes that incomprehensible; Galadriel gazed upon the Two Trees, whose light 'twas said mingled in her hair, while Morgoth was safely held by Angainor; that she would meekly accede to the authority of a child of the last days of the First Age, the son of a babe weaned in her cousins (Elronds great-grandfathers) kingdom just seems absurd to me. I mean, c'mon, she who stared down Feanor and knew the first Minas Tirith when her brother built it is gonna roll over for Elrond???! Divided kingdoms ruled by coequals is the best status to which Elrond can aspire in my mind (though, as always, others are not responsible for or to the limitations of my mind. Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie )
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I agree with Virumor about Elrond not being an Elf, he chose their destiney when it was offered him, but he was still Half-Elven as was Arwen, though they both had more than 50% Elven blood.

I don't know if Elrond had more than 50% Elven blood, it comes to the question whether one regards Dior as an Atani or as an Elf : Eärendil was 1/2 Atani, 1/4 Noldo & 1/4 Vanyarin; Elwing was 1/2 Sindarin & 1/2 Atani OR she was 3/4 Sindarin & 1/4 Atani.

Hence Elrond would be 1/2 Atani, 1/8 Noldo, 1/8 Vanyarin, 1/4 Sindarin OR 3/8 Atani, 1/8 Noldo, 1/8 Vanyarin, 3/8 Sindarin, so Elrond would only have more than 50% (mixed) Elven blood if Dior was counted among Elves (I'd regard him as mortal, since Lúthien was mortal after her return to Beleriand from Mandos).

Interestingly, this would make Arwen 1/4 Atani, 1/8 Noldo, 1/8 Teleri, 1/8 Vanyarin, 3/8 Sindarin OR 3/16 Atani, 1/8 Noldo, 1/8 Vanyarin, 7/16 Sindarin, 1/8 Teleri (that is, if we follow the Silmarillion, where Celeborn is of the Sindar; in Tolkien's final version in UT Celeborn is of the Teleri of Alqualondë, for instance).

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I'd thought Cirdan went with the (other) Ringbearers; remember, he was the original possessor of Narya, and besides, his charge was the Grey Havens, and with the passing of the last Eldar to Aman he finally went himself.

I don't think so; I think in UT it's mentioned that originally Narya & Vilya were kept in Gil-galad's possession, but he distributed Narya to Círdan shortly before the Dagor Dagorlad, whilst he gave Vilya to his herald, Elrond.
Luthien may have been mortal after her return, but whether or not she can die doesn't change genetics. She was still half elf and half maia.

And as for Galadriel not bowing to Elrond's authority: was there ever any question of either of them bowing to the other? They seem pretty well harmonized in concert with each other. He would honor her as his mother-in-law -- and he probably gained some of his lore and wisdom from her -- but even a teacher and a parent can live to see their child and pupil rise in authority equal to their own. Youth does not always mean irresponsibility and authority is not always given to the eldest, especially when humility enters the picture.
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Luthien may have been mortal after her return, but whether or not she can die doesn't change genetics. She was still half elf and half maia.

I'm not sure about that. Genetics isn't a part of Tolkien's works. It's fëa and hroa, not DNA and RNA. After Lúthien's return to Beleriand from Mandos, her fëa didn't change, but her hroa most probably did. She would still hold her 'powers', because they were part of her spirit, not her body.

Watson & Crick only revealed the double-helix structure of DNA when LOTR came out, in 1953, so JRRT certainly didn't know about this when he was writing his works.
perhaps I should have said "heritage" or "ancestry" or "geneology" instead of "genetics". I meant that her parentage didn't change. The idea of inheriting things like race and species and looks and temperament and such from your parents was around long before "genetics" "DNA" and "RNA" became familiar terms to the general educated public.
I'm not sure whether Lúthien still was 'half Elf, half Maia' after her return to Beleriand. She had received the Gift of Men, Death, her fëa was made unbound of Arda like with all Atani, hence she can't really be called Elven anymore.
So what would she be called then?
A mutant.
Vir, I'm not sure Tolkien meant to have the Half-elven regarded as mutants. Orcs might be mutants, but that doesn't have a good connotation for the good guys. I think when Luthien died she was still an elf, just one who had made that conscious choice as had been given her to make.
Well, if Luthien was an Atani then Dior was a thoroughbred and Elwing was only Half-Elven (which, incidentally, is supported by the decree from Manwe, but simultaneously undermines the whole "suspended choice" of each generation of descendants of Elrond and those like him.) And, of course, Virumor is exactly right about Gil-Galad being the original bearer of the two Rings, per the UT, and it's canon. Despite the fact it has two different versions of both Galadriels Exile and her union with Celeborn. Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie
Lúthien's the Phoenix : she returned from the dead to wreak havoc upon her brethren, the Elfies of Doriath, only to have her long lost lover Wargerine to stop her. Truly dramatic.
Fingolfin. I had an opinion that Nolder mind can't be "darkened". But this one was by sorrow. If you have only to look an ork to kill him why do you go confront death in spite immortaliti and loses you have suffered.Fingolfin wanted to die.He was the most human elf in charge.
Apart from how elves and men were made and put into place as it were by Illuvatar it all seems like it was a tribal thing, a clan thing so this elf was the head because he was the head of his clan and then that elf was in charge through marriage or whatever. It just seemed so Celtic and tribal to me anyway.
Although there were indeed various 'clans', Ingwë was recognized as the High King of all Quendi, although in practice he was only the King of the Vanyar.

This seems similar to the King in a feudal society to me.
Right you are. Like always!Smile Smilie