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Thread: The Weird Talents Guild

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"fully-trained idiot" disclaimers


BAH HahaaHaAHahAAhAhahaHahahHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Seriously, where do you get those? I need the bulk discount!
WTG Ishayala! I think I know what you mean.

Hey Grondy, I wouldn't mind hearing some of that C64 music myself. I used to play on one of those too, I would make little programs that made colors flash on the screen. My dad invented a game called Lemonade on a C64, it was a wayyyyy pared down version of Oregon Trail, where you had a little business, you had to manage your resources against the conditions for that time in the game, and the object was to make a profit.
Don`t hurt yourself! I would be most upset... Sad Smilie Just be careful with that knife! PLEASE!!!!!

I can put one leg round my neck, but not 2...My friend Josephine, can put both legs round her head and lay down flat.
Wow Music, you are amazing! I can devour a whole average sized apple in three bites. It doesn't sound that hard, but you just try it! Most of my such talents are feats of eating, such as dropping a grape and kicking it up into my mouth. (so far not very consistently) I don't really have that many special talents though. Tongue Smilie
I too can do the Pills thing (though for entirely different reasons).
And I believe the ability to finish off an entire value pack of Chocolate digestive biscuits in under 5 minutes qualifies me as well (in fact I do this quite a lot).
And being able to roll a ciggie one handed in any adverse weather conditions, or lighting, erm.. will post more later as I think of them.
Wow, one-handed rolling. All I'l say is I've tried and failed.
Um...PlSq you roll your own?

They make em already made y'know...with the regular stuff anyway.

I tried that too once to save money. HAAAHA. I bought a little machine with a groove in it for the tobacco then you throw a lever with a filtered tube in it, and it jams the baccy into the tube. Well. Most of mine weren't packed very well. The tobacco leaked out the top so I had to twist the end shut, making my smokes look funny. Then when I would flick, more often than not, all the tobacco would go flying out unsmoked. Save money INDEED. So Angry Smilie

What are chocolate digestive biscuits? Translate from British to American if you can?

Anyway, I'm moved by the extent of your skill.

[Edited on 22/2/2003 by musicimprovedme]
I can tongue my nose, but can't touch my elbows in back. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

My claim to fame is still making classical music on my Commodore 64 computer for playback in stereo three voices on each side. Have had some published on the LOADSTAR monthly disk magazine, of which issue #219 just was released. My Bach and Vivaldi violin concerti are best, but my rendition of Smetana's tone poem, 'The Moldau' really worked; my 'Ride of the Valkyrie' isn't half bad either.
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What are chocolate digestive biscuits? Translate from British to American if you can?
Wholemeal biuscuits, coated with chocolate. I feel sorry for you if you don't have them.

btw, most rolling machines don't work properly, never use one.

And Grondy, is there a chance of any of us hearing some of this music?
Yes and maybe. PM or email me and we can confer about it. Cool Elf Smilie
Most of us brit heavy smokers roll our own cos the government (in an attempt to make us all give up, and not to line their own coffers) tax so darn heavily, and to smoke the amount I do in ready made smokes would cost me more than my rent.

As for rolling machines, they are indeed rubbish (though I used to own a rather nifty kingsize one).
And chocolate digestives, would probably be called cookies by you over the pond.

As to Grondy's music, I have most of his work on my hard-drive, it is truly wonderful, and I am still trying to think of a way I can sample it and incorporate it into something of mine (just need the inspiration now).

btw, I forgot to add the usual "fully-trained idiot" disclaimers to attempting anything discussed above (especially the pill thing) because I was stunningly drunk when I made my last post. (yet another talent for drinking large amounts of vodka without any apparent effects)

Oh yeah, and given two straws and a pint of Lager, I can down the whole thing through my nose.
Well I can drink a pint of beer in 3 seconds which i no easy feat. Takes alot of skill to down in it in one go. Also I can say Arnold Schwarzenegger and Slyvestor Stallone in one Burp.
Itīs difficult to explain this without you seeing me, but I can form a three-leaf flower by rolling my tongue Tongue Smilie
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Oh yeah, and given two straws and a pint of Lager, I can down the whole thing through my nose.
OMG...Plastic, you really are an animal.

The nearest I can come to that is snorting a condom up one nostril and then coughing the end of it out of my mouth so that I can play tug of war with myself. I once tried doing it with two condoms and both nostrils but almost choked.

Again folks, don't try this unless you are incredibly drunk and so have a reasonable excuse to give the paramedic who picks you up off the carpet.
I'm also assuming Val, that the condom is um...FRESH? I don't know what possessed you to try that but it is indeed a weird talent, possibly the weirdest one on this thread so far. hahaha....can anyone top that?

Nevertheless, let's note that this is the WEIRD TALENTS GUILD, could also be synonymous with the Stupid Human Tricks Guild...but it is not the OH GOD, I HATE MY LIFE, I THINK I WILL CHOKE TO DEATH ON A CONDOM GUILD...so maybe this is not really a place to get all that inspired to try new things.


[Edited on 25/2/2003 by musicimprovedme]
So...chocolate digestive biscuits. Heck thats OREOS for crying out loud. I could do that if I let myself...I thought you were talking about eatin a whole box of Ex-Lax or something. Now why would anyone do THAT just for fun?

Not a talent but here's a side comment on the strangest thing I ever ate when I had the munchies...and it was DELICIOUS at the time. I had been out partying and engaging in (let's call it) pipeweed. I stumbled in STARVING and found a store-bought microwave bean burrito, I was too hungry and lazy to nuke it so I ate it completely frozen. Voila! A BEAN CICLE. I'm surprised I didn't crack a tooth or something, but GOD it was good.

[Edited on 25/2/2003 by musicimprovedme]
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So...chocolate digestive biscuits. Heck thats OREOS for crying out loud.
They're nothing like OREOs I'm afraid. As for the munchies, I once ate a whole bag of dog biscuits - good for a wet nose and a glossy coat. Tongue Smilie
I swallowed a live herring once for a Ģ5 bet after watching a herring gull swallowing them on our boat. It was a really horrible feeling when it hit my stomach though, because for a few seconds I could feel it thrashing around. I must admit, I couldn't keep it down.

I've also tried live shrimp, peeler crab, and little gammarus sand fleas, but so far cannot pluck up the courage to even attempt rag worms (or any other type of worm for that matter)
I ate an entire plate of frozen oven chips having left them in the oven for a good half an hour (I hadn't realised it wasn't on, due to my, erm.. altered perception of reality, it looked hot, it was glowing and everything). Very unfortunate. But no damage done, as to the other things I ate, drank etc. etc. I fear that this is no place for me to discuss them, as many of them are utterly illegal to even own in the first place, let alone put them to the strange uses i did.

However, the goldfish at the fair was good, I won it on the darts game, had nowhere to keep the thing, so swallowed it (having recently seen fish called wanda). It grossed out so many people that I went on to get a few more, just for effect. Oh, done the same thing with a variety of live and dead insects, and strangely enough, a whole tub of Margarine....
MY PEOPLE!! If I ever felt like I didn't belong here, I don't now. This is my kinda guild Big Smile Smilie

I too can do the pill thing though I have no explanation why. I just have a wide throat I guess.

I can do this really cool thing where I balance two dimes, edge to edge between my thumb and forefinger... that's always fun because then everyone in the room spends the next hour and a half trying to duplicate this feat which is, take my word for it, quite amusing to watch... for at least five or ten minutes.

One serious attack of the munchies saw me devour a large pizza all by myself in under ten minutes. That was an ugly scene... trust me.

Umm, I've never intentionally eaten anything that was still alive so I can't contribute there... sorry.

I can blow some pretty decent smoke rings...

BTW, rolling machines work great if you use them correctly Tongue Smilie Not that I need one...

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Most of us brit heavy smokers roll our own cos the government (in an attempt to make us all give up, and not to line their own coffers) tax so darn heavily, and to smoke the amount I do in ready made smokes would cost me more than my rent.


Yeah, same situation here in NJ. A pack of ciggs runs between $5 and $6, making a carton between $50 and $60. If you smoke a pack a day (20 cigs) then you'll spend at least $150 a month on cig... that's $1800 a year. And I know people who smoke 3 times as much. That'a a house mortgage for crying out loud! I smoke about half a pack a day and I get my cigs from Delaware for 'bout $24 a carton. All this just to slowly kill myself...

DISCLAIMER- Tobacco can kill you. Even the tobacco companies have fessed up to this now, so it's no longer debatable. So to all those youngin's out there- DON'T START SMOKING! If not for the sake of your health, then at least for the sake of your wallet.


[Edited on 2/26/2003 by ProgHead777]
yeah, Prog nice disclaimer there. Bold Print and everything! You are such a good role model.

I know about the prices of cigarettes in NJ, I once reluctantly...but in the end, willingly...put down 52 dollars for a carton there. I tell ya...are we stupid or what? Smoking more than anything brings out the Gollum in me.

BTW-Let's not be eating anymore live animals shall we? I suppose its bad enough that we kill them first but I would hate to think what happens to a live goldfish or cricket or whatever when it comes in contact with all those gastric juices.

[Edited on 26/2/2003 by musicimprovedme]
I have a tallent that is a little wierd. I can tell, just by looking, if a scratch/insect/dirt is on the side of glass facing me or the side facing away. Sounds useless huh? But it is a talent that I picked up while working in the mastering dept. of a CD factory.

This seeminly useless talent has some appliction though. I have forgotten the number of times I have watched people try to clean a mark off a window that I can clearly see is on the other side. Big Laugh Smilie

I usually give them two minutes max. before I tell them. Wink Smilie

[Edited on 1/3/2003 by Allyssa]
I don't think I would be allowed to jump being an accident prone pillock!
Oh yes as for the smoking thing lets just say I have smoked and it was pure but not legal, I suppose I'm a bit of a freak for never having smoked tobacco in nearly tweenty years of my existence!
Wow you ppl what kinda freaks are ya...(kiddin)
Well most of you got talants with tongues and with their mouth.The freaky thing about me is that I cann jump.Yep I can jump.Now most of you will say:What the heck can't we all.Well I can jump really high.1.20m-1.25m without any trinings at all.I am like grasshopper Smile Smilie !
(M.Jordan could jump 1.50m in his best years)
Ok here goes I can eat a whole 14 peice with chips and gravy KFC bucket in ten minutes including the knucles of the bones, Fold my ears, break my nose with a twist of it, fit my fist in my mouth, fit half my foot n my mouth (I'm size thirteens thats some feat), fart on command and then light them. My personnal favourite and drunken party trick is to sculpt a small mid-17th century Italian city out of a carrot.

(Yes, Plastic altered a word here, but it's a carrot right? What do you think Ross made out of it? btw, THIS IS A RHETORICAL QUESTION! No guesses please)

[Edited on 3/3/2003 by PlasticSquirrel]
boy the things I have learned about you people...
I told you...we are FREAKS!!! Very Mad Smilie
I don't know if it's a talent or not, but I hate pickles and if I happen to get one in my hamburger I can eat the hamburger and spit out the pickle perfectly intact without realizing I do that. Lol. Tongue Smilie
I'm mighty impressed Andrea, I wish I could do that with the tomatoes....
btw. What does your sig mean? and what language is it in? (Plastic wishes he knew more languages, and didn't have to look dumb every now and then)
I forgot I can do three things at the same time my most used tripple task motion being, painting models, reading a book and watching TV all at the same time, it's something to do with me being able to use both sides of my brain at the same time, but I prefer the explaination that I'm a freak.

Oh yeh and as proved last night I can build flat pack furniture without the instructions, still always left with extra screws though, but no wood so thats a good sign!
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btw. What does your sig mean? and what language is it in?
It's Latin, meaning "Love conquers all."

[Edited on 5/3/2003 by Peredhil]
I had thought that it was old Morporkian, oh well, nice sentiment though. Never did much latin but here's a rhyme I learned in Latin lessons at school:

Latin is a language, as dead as dead can be,
First it killed the Romans, and now it's killing me.
Ross, if I tried to paint, read, and watch TV at the same time, I think my brain would just flat explode.

Single tasker here.
Yeh I'm a bit of a freak, My cousin is even more of one though, he can move his eyes indipendant of each other!
Ok, I don't know if this could be called a talent, since it was a once in a lifetime experience but...
When I was three I rolled my eyes inwards, towards the nose and I got stuck! I had to go through surgery to get my eyes back to normal again!

I've been going through this thread over and over again and I can't think of ANY weird talents I've got! Very Sad Smilie It's quite depressing really! I want to have a weird talent as well!!
you don't need any weird talents, you're a hottie I've seen your picture
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I've been going through this thread over and over again and I can't think of ANY weird talents I've got! It's quite depressing really! I want to have a weird talent as well!!


Poor Airecristiel...if you want to develop a weird talent, just try something ordinary only do it naked. Or on one leg. Or while humming Eleanor Rigby. Or you can get a buddy and try some of these eating things...the buddy is for when you need the heimlich maneuver!

Hey I thought of a weird talent only it's my brother's. We were playing cards once and got to talking about Rain Man, the movie about the autistic guy who could count all the toothpicks, and remebered weird things, etc. And so one thing led to another and we started talking about our weird talents. Then I held the deck facedown in my hand and flipped them one after the other into a single pile (face up, he's not a psychic) about one card every second while he watched them pile up. Then I held the last card in my hand and asked him what it was...and by golly he told me! I think it was the 7 of spades. He just blew my mind with that trick, it takes a lot of concentration and he doesn't always get it but he did it a couple more times. I don't know if you think this is a hard thing to do...but just try it!
Lol, nice! Yeah Plastic, my sig is Latin for "Love conquers all". Some of us have some pretty weird talents Juggling Smilie lol
Counting cards, counting cards!
yes Ross, counting cards indeed. And guess what else?

"Kmart sucks" and "I'm an excellent driver."
Big Laugh Smilie
Quote:
you don't need any weird talents, you're a hottie I've seen your picture


Aaw, thank you Ross! But that really doesn't count as a weird talent and I want to be able to do some party tricks too! I mean, anyone can sit on a couch looking pretty, it's not something guys fall for.

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Poor Airecristiel...if you want to develop a weird talent, just try something ordinary only do it naked. Or on one leg. Or while humming Eleanor Rigby. Or you can get a buddy and try some of these eating things...the buddy is for when you need the heimlich maneuver!


ROFLMAO MIM!! Big Laugh Smilie Big Laugh Smilie Big Laugh Smilie Big Laugh Smilie
But if I try to do it naked I bet the neighbours will have some show!! Not good... Wink Smilie It's better then if I try to do it on one leg or while humming a song. hehe..
I've got it conbine all three. Sit on the couch looking pretty, whilst naked and whistling Eleanor Rigby. please send the pictures to the following website: lankypervert.com Tongue Smilie

Please note no offence is meant by this posting, if any offence is caused please consider having me neutered, no really it's the only way I'll learn plus I keep peeing in the corners of the rooms!

[Edited on 12/3/2003 by Ross]
Weird talents...these aren't so weird but none of my friends can do them so maybe I'm a bit weird nevertheless Smile Smilie

1. Roll my tounge in every possible direction (sideways, downwards, upwards and some inexplicable direction inwards)
2. Move my ears
3. Rolling eyes in several ways, don't know how to explain it
4. Stay awake the whole night and be bright the whole day with almost no sleep at all ( I share that problem with Mellie)

Think that is it...I'll let you know if i develope any weird talents in the future Juggling Smilie

[Edited on 12/3/2003 by Celebrian]
Ok, here is a twist on the weird talents guild. These are things that...no matter how smart I am...I cannot get the hang of or things that no matter how they are explained to me, I just don't understand.

1) guns. Calibers, rifles, etc. meaningless to me.

2) driving a stick shift car. I have heard it's a lot of fun but I have ruined a transmission and a clutch in a borrowed car trying to learn.

3) American football. Absolutely clueless. Every boyfriend I ever had tried to cure me of this one and failed. And I was raised in the American midwest too, then moved to Texas, both big football places. I'm surprised I haven't been investigated for high treason.

4) car parts and numbers on the end of a name of a car. V-6 and horsepower and 8 cylinders and all that. A giant fog.

5) Ironing. My ironed clothes look like I just ran over them with a mower. I can't be bothered. I either send it out or steam it or wear a t-shirt that comes out of the dryer nice the way it is.

I'm getting better in the vacuuming department. Usually I can't tell where I have been so I keep going over the same place over and over...or I run over something I'm not supposed to (like the cord or a sock or a penny) and ruin a belt, GOD that stinks. OR I get tripped up in the cord and hurt myself. I am figuring it out though, as a nanny, I have lots of chances to practice.

That's about it. I know I'm ignorant about a lot of things, these are just the ones that people have tried to clue me in on and never got the job done no matter how hard they tried...they usually start out with "it's easy, all you need to know is...but I end up asking so many questions that they give up.


Ross...I have some scissors if you need a little snip? hahahahah

[Edited on 12/3/2003 by musicimprovedme]
Hey I haven't worn Ironed clothes since I was thirteen, even at interviews. My philosophy is take me or leave me and it seems to rub of on people as I have always got or been offered the job at any interviews I've been for.

I can explain guns to you, but lets face it you'll just be bored!

So I need to be done then, oh poo. I hate going to the vet's(Ross is now hidding in the back of his hutch)
UH OH. Ross knows guns AND hates the LOTR movies! If you disagree run for cover! He can split a hobbit's foot hair at 50 paces!
Excuse me 200 yards, my G3 has a scope!
Begging your pardon Ross, I didn't know you were so adept in weaponry. I would say something political like "maybe you should enlist and go to Iraq" but since that's not allowed I won't.
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