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Thread: The Guild of Madness

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Hello, my name is Ar-edain37, and my problem is that I don't have a problem with my problem. What you are about to witness may shock you.

This one time I was rooting through my neighbor's trash.....and then he coaght me and dragged me inside. There was this machine with a screen that said "Egg salad on Tuesdays". And then, when I woke up, I was in a bathtub full of ice and one of my kidneys was gone.

Please feel free to comment on that.

(Grondy decided to change one word.) So I changed the entire ending.
wow
Apparently someone escaped out of the "Psychos Anonymous" thread.
What! Fine Grondy I'll just change the entire ending. Like a special edition dvd that costs $50 the first week, but then the second week is $30. And of course, I bought it during the first week and feel very stupid.
What is the topic of this thread? It seems like something that should've been posted at the 'Psychos anonymous' one, instead.
What's wrong with having TWO psycho threads?

I understand what you mean, Ar-edain. Just like when telephones have ten numbers on them but they never have the number ten. It annoys me. Have you noticed that there is no opposite to the word 'wireless?' It's not 'wire.' So what is it? (On computer mice, not telephones).
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What's wrong with having TWO psycho threads?


Because one is more than enough? Oh, and the opposite of wireless would be wired.
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Oh, and the opposite of wireless would be wired.
Unless it was in the 1920's when it was 'the telegraph' and 'the telephone' which were then outmoded by by radio, 'the wireless'.
Grondy's right, we have to stand up to the gerbils under my friend's bed and show them that they may be able to conquer Mexico but they will never take our soup! Now bring me my burrito or the else my hunger will cause snowstorms in Siberia! That's why we need this thread! Because crystal caves is basically gone from the sight, and I don't like posting in threads whose creators are missing in the middle of the luci desi comedy hour which I never watch anyway, Andy Griffith for president or Charlie Daniels, I know...... they can build custom choppers. Whoever's chopper can fly closer to the moon wins the presidancy. I've invented a new system of government! Im gonna proclaim my basement a seperate country. The Confederate Basement of America! Soon every basement in the South will ally with me and we'll control all of Canadialand! All we need is five hundred pounds of instant biscotti mix! (Canada doesn't exist) That'll show those Carthaginians who wears the trousers in this nation! The president of the CBA, which probably stands for something else! But I overule that! I win! I am the new President of the Confederate Basement/s of America. Maybe one day will control the entire South! and Colorado! Break out the spiced spam, where gonna ride again mortals! Those yankees won't even know that we left...until the economy drops. Then they'll beg us to come back! And we'll colonize the moon, then leave and let other people go their. Solve world hunger and starve the entire Town of Europeishnat! Thanks to Grondy my opening story aint a true story any more! Then I'll make new england pay tribute to me conquer the western U.S. and Hawaii, free Scotland and form an alliance with them, get Irelnd to join the Confederacy, and we can form a super nation once we combine New Zealand and Australia to our empire. I shall call it the United States of Confederacy! I will rule as a democracy with an iron fist! And force sheep to be made of iron!
no offence guy, but i'm not even gonna bother reading that last posts! It looks way to long and monotonous, without the proper paragraphing.
Yes, it's supposed to look "mad".
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Just like when telephones have ten numbers on them but they never have the number ten. It annoys me.

I agree Loni. I can just imagine you searching for the number 11 on the telephone keypad when you want to call 911.
It's not supposed to look "mad" by not having proper paragraphing, spacing, capatilization, or grammar, I was just in a hurry and didn't wan't to bother with it. That and it was an obnoxious rant and I think all that is fine for one, long paragraph. Even though it probably needs to be at least three paragraphs, but it aint monotonous!
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I agree Loni. I can just imagine you searching for the number 11 on the telephone keypad when you want to call 911.


No, you mean 111. This is New Zealand, remember. I just can't find one hundred and eleven!!!! It's stupid!!! People should put all the numbers on telephones. That, or they should find a way of writing them different. LIke instead of one hundred and eleven, you could type one one one. But NO!!!! I see quite clearly, 111, not 1 1 1. It's silly. It must be a NEw Zealand thing.

Speckles did it!
I think Loni's right! All the numbers, especially important ones, should be on the phone itself! You would think, with all the problems in society today, that the telephone would have evolved a bit more to help people in emergency cases. It doesn't make sense! After all that's happened in the world, it would only make sense for people to make changes to phones. Sure, cell phones come in handy, but their service isn't usually good. And we don't always have acess to phones when cars break down; people aren't always nice enough to let people use their phone. Phones could be the downfall of society!! You never know...
I think that all countries should be made to copy Australia, with the easy to remember 0-0-0. You wouldn't have to have it on the phone anyway, because i learnt the number before i could read the word " emergency". So in Australia we make more sense.

And why we beat NZ in cricket so much, Loni lol
But the other day you were goin alright until McGrath got 6 Wickets lol!!
You forget, though I am currently residing in New Zealand I AM A POM THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!! I was born there, and I shall go there again!!!! As soon as I leave school and go to uni in Pommyland. Oxford, hopefully. So WABWABWABWAB!!! I laugh.

I didn't know the Aussies had 000. I thought they had 111 just like us. HAHA 111 IS JUST AS EASY TO REMEMBER!!!

Phones the downfall of our sciety? No, it is chewing gum.
no it's modern day entertainment including, but not limited to, tv and what we're doing right now!
Loni - don't forget in the UK it's 999 for the emergency services Smile Smilie

I think it should be standard around the world - sorry what was the beginning of the tread Elf Confused Smilie
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Loni - don't forget in the UK it's 999 for the emergency services

I think it should be standard around the world - sorry what was the beginning of the tread
In the USA, the emergency services number has been 911(this even before the downfall of the Twin Towers). In the old days of the rotary telephone, 111 would have been a much better number than 999 or 000, due to the time it took to dial those numbers. Now with pushbutton phones it makes no nevermind. Anyway having all these different emergancy numbers world-wide in this day and age is madness, which is in keeping with this topic. Elf Winking Smilie
I KNOW it's 999 for the pommy services. But 111 is better. It's like NUMBER ONE!!!! For Number One Emergency SErvices, call the New Zealand Emergency Centre!!!! And besides, if all telephones had a million hundred numbers on them, it would be easier to fit them all up to 111 rather than 999. For 999 you'd have to take the lift down into the cellar when the phone ends on 999. But for 111 you'd only have to take one floor down. SO THERE!!!!
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You forget, though I am currently residing in New Zealand I AM A POM THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!! I was born there, and I shall go there again!!!! As soon as I leave school and go to uni in Pommyland. Oxford, hopefully. So WABWABWABWAB!!! I laugh.


Hey, Loni, who beats the POmmies in cricket anyway? Btw, when is the Ashes starting, would be great to watch...
Anyway, I was born in pommyland too, but Australia is still the best yeeeeaaahh!!!
Pom?Pommyland?Trout eating beans out of a shoe? What's a pom? Australia and New Zealand are both great countries. My list of favorite countries: USA/CSA,(Where i'm from) Ireland,(Where I tell people i'm from and would be my second or first pick to be from) Scotland(Another place I would not mind being from. My ancestors come mainly from there and Ireland. And yes, I know it's part of the UK!)Australia(Where one of my friends was born, even though his parents are both American and he lives in the same town as me in America) New Zealand (This one is tied with Australia, where LOTR was filmed and the place I might go to if the next election turns ill. By the way, yall don't know nothin' about it if i go to NZ if the next election is not to my liking. OK?)

I think 000 should be the emergency phone number for the entire world. Even though, when it comes from me, it just sounds like another US resident trying to Americanize the world. Well...It aint! It just makes sense!
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I think 000 should be the emergency phone number for the entire world. Even though, when it comes from me, it just sounds like another US resident trying to Americanize the world. Well...It aint! It just makes sense!

Yes, you are right, that being Australia's emergency code. 9-1-1 is too hard to remember anyway. And Australia is heaps better than any of those countries you listed (kidding).

And, didn't England (Pommytown) invent cricket, but Australia always wins? And who is the best sporting country in the world? Who is the most relaxed civilisation in the world?
AUSTRALIA!!!

PS. I'm sure any other pure Aussies, or half-aussies with some sense would agree with me
As I said before I think the number should be the same world-wise but can you imagine the govenments getting together to decide which number to use Elf Rolling Eyes Smilie

I'd love to be a fly on the wall in that meeting
What, you enjoy watching sausage being made. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
Maybe pt should form its own political party. The Get a Worldwide Emergency Phone Number Party, we could take over the world. One phone book at a time................... (Oh, right no political discussion on pt. Well, this is just for fun, and I think everyone has agreed on it so far. Its more like a suggestion than a political view anyway. How could this possibly offend someone?)

I did not mean to insult any countries left off my list. I respect the right of all countries to exist (Unlike the Union in the 1860s!) except one or two who have bad government leaders and are a thorn in the listed, and other good/decent, countries side. But, to prevent another suspension from pt, I will not name these countries. Even thought I don't think anybody on the site is from them.
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Phones the downfall of our sciety? No, it is chewing gum.

The downfall of our society is none fo those. It is the monkeys. Always waiting, always watching. It just takes one human to teach monkeys how to use guns before we're all their hostages in their evil Very Evil Smilie plan to take over the world. They shall form the UMOTE (United Monkeys Of The Earth)

Ar-edain37: We should, it would be fun, we could have Grep help us. Plus, after we're done, we get to have a FIESTA! *Spanish yell* Grep can lead the refreshments group, and bake chocolate chip cookies and the world with have chocolate chip cookies and they will be ours, our own, our precious And once he was done he could make squirrel smilies...

Oh, and I'm from the USA, born and bred (Double meanings...) and I find it really easy to remember 911, PLUS you have a smaller risk of dialing too many 1s or 0s or whatever, but I agree, those would be easier, except not for me. Cause I'm used to 911 and it would be hard adjusting.
Just to add to the whole emergency services number debate, the number 112 is used Europe-wide (inc. UK). I know it's not the whole world, but it's a start.
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The downfall of our society is none fo those. It is the monkeys. Always waiting, always watching. It just takes one human to teach monkeys how to use guns before we're all their hostages in their evil plan to take over the world. They shall form the UMOTE (United Monkeys Of The Earth)

No, the monkeys have already caused the downfall of society by unleashing AIDS on humanity.
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No, the monkeys have already caused the downfall of society by unleashing AIDS on humanity.
Wow...really? (It seems as if you DO know everything, Virumor)

But I was still right, and AIDs was all part of their complex scheme. Why do you think gas prices keep going up? It's because the monkeys are using it as funding so they can arm their soliders. They even had Osama working for them. Of course, that was a diversion, to lull us into a false sense of security. And the earthquake over in Indonesia? That earthquake originated from their weapons testing and development facilities. They're working on an even BIGGER atomic bomb, maybe even working on MAD, the perfect acronym. That's from the movie "The Core". Basically it's a high powered thing-a-ma-bob that can send concentrated earthquakes anywhere upon the earth. And as soon as the monkeys get to their safe houses in Australia, they will attack.

In The Core, they test the earthquake generator and it ... oh wait, that'd be giving the movie away. Well, basically, the monkeys will develope a flawless one, and will be ready for world domination. They're in league with the cockroaches, and their next move will be to force a citizen of Australia to teach them how to use a gun, and take over Australia. Thus their world conquest will be put into motion, while they have the evil Dutch leprechauns (No offense to the Dutch) run people over and stuff. Did you know 50% of car accidents are caused by Dutch leprechauns?

And then the UMOTE will rule the world and put PEOPLE in zoos.

Yes I have put a lot of thought into this.

I will be adding to this theory later on.
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Just to add to the whole emergency services number debate, the number 112 is used Europe-wide (inc. UK). I know it's not the whole world, but it's a start.


Well I've decided we should all use our minds and think of calling the emergency service, if we all do it together maybe we could harness our special powers, the mind is a powerful thing Very Mad Smilie
I'm sorry guys, but I've just talked to the leader of UMOTE and he is shocked about your theories. He whispered to me that the real villains are the members of the PU (Porcupine Union) - he's been watching them for months now. Watch out, they're among us... maybe your neighbour is one of them... or your evil little brother... Paranoid Smilie
My cover has been blown.. run away. i must then tell the government to send out Umote agents to wipe out all pt members brains of all but lords of the rings.
*runs*

something terrible must have taken hold of me... I'm singing most awful tv-spot-melodies out aloud. Get into your dugouts and prepare for the worst... though I don't quite know what that might be... maybe hearing me singing on the radio?
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Get into your dugouts and prepare for the worst... though I don't quite know what that might be... maybe hearing me singing on the radio?
Well that shouldn't be considered ' the worst'. What if we heard you in our heads and when we turned the radio off we could still hear you. Now even as your voice is sweetly melodious, it would get tiresome after a while, and not being able to find the off button would really make one barmy. Very Mad Smilie Talk about an earworm! Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
*Shakes Head*


This is pure maddness Very Mad Smilie
@ Aragorn_estel
But you aren't really surprised about that, are you??


@ Grondmaster
I think you might be right... hearing my voice in your heads... what a horrible thought! Isn't the fact that I always hear this voice bad enough? And all the other voices!!! *schizophrenic attack*

Watch out, everyone, or your heads might explode...
BANG
Oop there goes one head.
*arghhh* Exploding Head Smilie

and I wanted to prevent this...

I failed *crysis* Very Mad Smilie Dead Smilie
I was thinking that maybe if we could implant a nanotechnological voice recorder in our heads, we could be able to record the voices in our head and then play them back at a later and more convenient times. I guess we could even have a little tete-a-tete with our conscience if we implant a nanotechnological microphone along with it. What say you?
that's definitely too much for my poor old little brain...

Exploding Head Smilie

but just try it, good luck!! Orc With Thumbs Up Smilie
BANG Jumping Flame Smilie (imagine that that has no arms and is a head flying off into oblivion)
And there goes another Exploding Head Smilie Paranoid Smilie
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(imagine that that has no arms and is a head flying off into oblivion)

That's not too difficult to imagine, after having played through the game BloodRayne.
I guess that's the reason why my imagination boggles.
ooooh, so many victims... this board will soon be without members. try to wear multi-resistant helmets to keep your heads together, and don't think too much (if you ever do), maybe that helps.
Exploding Head Smilie and a head goes flying strait at ithil to knock her out.
( i am correct you are a her right?) HEHEHEHEHE that was fun now whos next.
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try to wear multi-resistant helmets to keep your heads together, and don't think too much

Ah yes, that's from the Baron von Münchhausen movie, right ?
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