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Thread: KDI Historians Society

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I suggested this thread in the Khazad-Dumish Inn, and since many people liked the idea, I’m starting it.
So here’s the basic idea:
The Khazad-dumish Inn, as I’m sure you know, is a RPG set up by Gimli_axe_wielder in 2002 with the words:

Quote:
--------------------> THE SIGN OVER THE BAR <--------------------
Well now, welcome and hello! My name is Gimli, I am owner and head karaoke singer at this establishment. We have a full compliment of the finest drinks one can imagine, the best music made, and of course, the finest selection of pipeweed this side of the Shire.

So please, come right in, sing a song, tell a joke. Do what ever you wish. There is just one requirement here. All first time visitors MUST sing a song!


Occupational opportunities are available.


It has never shut to this day. Many members have passed through it, many events have taken place there. But as great as it all is, 68 pages is a lot to read through, and for anyone who wants to find out what has happened in the Inn these past eight years, it is a daunting task.
So, I propose this. Page by page, we summarise the events of the Khazad-dumish Inn. Each page summary should be about as long as the one below, depending on how much happens, and it should contain these criteria:
1. Who entered the Inn, and the song they sung (with credentials to the songwriter).
2. The movements of that member within the Inn (what they ordered/drunk/ate, what they did (fights, more songs, adventures in the cellars, etc)
3. Any new facts about the Inn, highlighted in bold.(such as what something looks like, any new items or places, any damage done.)
4. Who left the Inn, and where they went off to (if stated).

I will summarise the first page in my next post, as an example. Good luck to anyone who joins me in this!
Page One

Allyssa, an elf, was the first customer to enter the Inn. She sung the first two lines of The Fall of Gil-Galad (J.R.R Tolkien) and Gimli congratulated her, and gave her a mug of ale on the house. Grondmaster, a hobbit, then walked in wearing full Elvis costume. He sung a song from ROTK on the stage, sung by Sam in Cirith Ungol (J.R.R Tolkien).
Tom Bombadil came in immediately afterward, and sung his song, beginning with ‘Hey dol! Merry dol! Ring a dong dillo!’ (J.R.R Tolkien). He got a cold mug of ale from Gimli, then left to free the hobbits from the willow-man. Gimli watched him leave, then went up to sing Behind Blue Eyes (The Who). Allyssa grinned, Tom came back in, and sung the first verse of his song again. He gave a round of beer to all.
PlasticSquirrel entered with an electric guitar, and played Eruption (Van Halen). He then ordered a Guiness, which Gimli provided. Grondy asked where the electricity came from, and Gimli replied that the Inn was hamster-powered and that the hamsters liked it because it was orc toe with ranch dipping sauce day on Fridays. PlasticSquirrel ordered a bowl of jellied eels, which Gimli served up. Grondy went to the mike and sung Lies (Stan Rogers). Gimli then nailed a wanted sign to the door about thieves (not sure why...).
Halo_Black appeared, and demanded a rendition of Knees Up Mother Brown (Irving Taylor). PlasticSquirrel sat down at the piano and started to play the tune. Gollum entered, and sung the aforementioned song, then leaped into Halo_Black’s arms. Grondy applauded from his plate of jellied eels, then Halo_Black dropped Gollum, went over to Grondy and finished his beer for him, then realised that one of the eels was still alive. She ran into the toilets, flushed the eel down one, then came back into the pub.
Gollum picked himself up, muttering, then jumped on top of the piano and sung Time (Pink Floyd). Halo_Black apologised to Gollum for dropping him, then suddenly seemed to suffer from temporary memoy loss, and couldn’t remember dropping him at all. Goes into hysterics. Grondy them pointed out that she hadn’t sung yet, and Halo_Black sticks her tongue out at him and shows him the bottom of her glass, which came from the Prancing Pony. Gollum then reminds her that he jumped into her arms, and she remembers. She then wonders what to sing, and threatens to sing the Scooby-Doo theme tune (Ben Raleigh) if nothing else. Grondy protested forcefully to this, but PlasticSquirrel and Gollum thought it was a great idea and begin to sing it.
Meanwhile, Keeper*of*the*stars, a half-elf, (who I shall call K from now on), came in, wrapped in shadows, and sat down. Tom Bombadil told her that she would have to sing, but K replied that she didn’t sing, and went over to the bar and ordered a mai tale. Gimli told her she would have to sing, but she refused coldly, and a startled dwarf gave it over.
Halo_Black then began to sing in Scooby-Doo in the most excruciatingly painful voice known to man, elf, hobbit, or dwarfkind. Horse alarms go off outside, glass breaks, dogs and cats start to howl, until she is finally knocked over by a boot thrown by one of the guests. She continued to sing weakly, but another boot knocked her out.
PlasticSquirrel (who is half-deaf) applauds her. Grondy takes out an avil from his Marvellous Bag of Holding and prepares to drop it on the Squirrel if he should request an encore. At the other side of the room, Tom leans over to K at his table to serenade her. However, Goldberry comes in, whacks him on the head with a handbag, and drags him out. Gimli sniggers from behind the bar, then walks up onto the stage and shines a light on K, demanding a song.
She walked over to the piano and sung May it be an Evening Star (Enya). Gollum, who was still on the piano, congratulated her, and Grondy bowed, though PlasticSquirrel clapped his hands over his ears, since he hates Enya. K thanked Grondy and Gollum, and went back to sit down. Halo_Black also clapped for K, then suddenly her mother, an Uruk-hai, walked in, and said that they were going on their holidays to Cornwall. Halo_Black left with her family, and Gimli waved goodbye. PlasticSquirrel began to sing the Spiderman theme tune (Paul Webster). Gimli commented on what an odd crowd he had that night.

Wow, that took a long time. All that in one page... oh well, one down, sixty-seven to go! Big Smile Smilie
Page Two

K agreed with Gimli, then Tom came back in, looking a little worse for wear. He sung Because I got high (TomBombadillo), and told everyone that he had discovered pipeweed. Grondy and PlasticSquirrel congratulated him (on the song), and Gimli offered some of his pipeweed stash behind the counter to everyone.
Melliot Sandybanks creeped in, trying not to be noticed, but she bumped into Gimli who told her she had to sing. She was embarrassed, and asked if she could warm up a bit before she had to sing. She also noticed that Gimli wasn’t wearing any shoes, only red stockings, and she asked why. Gimli told her that they were brewing in the kitchen along with everyone else’s boots, the secret to the unique flavour of his malt beer. Mellie went into the corner with some herbal tea, preparing for her song.
Perry-the-Winkle and a troll (both controlled by Grondmaster) walked in with baskets of hot bread and butter. They recited some poetry, bowed, and then walked around, handing out the bread n’ butter.
Tom ran to the toilet to throw away the malt beer, after hearing about its origins, then went out of the inn to keep a check on his Old Forest. Gimli nailed another wanted sign to the wall near the bar, for Tom’s desecration of the malt beer. Tom looked around the door to see the sign, and ran for his life.
Gimli seemed to have a memory loss when he hung a sign forgiving Tom but banishing K until she sings a Kiss song with face paint. K refuses, saying she has already sung, and throws the sign into the fire.
Ungoliant, a horrible old crone, walked in. She went over to the bar, where Gimli poured her a rum, but she spat and ordered a white wine. She lit a cigarette, then walked up to the stage and sung I’m Just a Gigolo (Irving Caesar), at the end shouting “ONE MORE TIME!!”. Gimli started to sob, because he realised that he had banned Ungoliant from the tavern a long time ago because she would never stop singing. PlasticSquirrel whooped and took out his guitar, playing the intro to a Kiss song for K. Tom walked back in, and began to sing along with Ungoliant, when Gimli leaped onto the stage, took the mike from Ungoliant and started to sing Kiss.
Grondy, sick and tired of bad music, began to head for the door, but someone trod on his fingers. K was insulted by people singing Kiss, and stormed out. Mellie watches her go, then gets up and began to dance to the Kiss music, when Tom Bombadil stopped everything and sung Everybody Needs Somebody to Love (The Blues Brothers).
Star walked in at the end of his song, and got a Chardonnay from the bar. She sat down, then Ungoliant and Tom sung Live for Love United (Pascal Obispo), the crone again screeching “ONE MORE TIME!” at the end.
Meanwhile, Grondy had just managed to crawl out of the door and dunk his head in a horse-trough when he saw a disgruntled K sitting on the stoop.
Back inside the inn, a sparkly red and purple clound drifted inside and formed into Halo_Black. She did her whole evil laughter bit, prompting several customers to run away screaming. Gimli greeted her, then walked outside and gave Grondy and K two beers, asking them to come back inside.
Gimli then walked back inside himself, leaped up onto the stage, and with Star sung Baby Got Back (Sir Mixalot). Star then sung Rebel (Bryan Adams) by herself, while Silmarill (Sil) crept in and hid in a corner, as he wasn’t a very good singer.
Rosie Cotton also came in after Sil, and sung the fist two verses of The Man in the Moon (FOTR, J.R.R Tolkien), though stopped when she realised hardly any were listening. She asked Mellie to join in, then Gimli congratulated her and welcomed her to the Inn. The dwarf then spotted Sil and told him to come up and sing too, and to spur him on said that ‘all first time singers get a drink on the house’.
After Gimli’s declaration, Star ordered champagne and went up to the stage to sing Invisible Man (Joshua Kadison). She asked if Gimli had a darts board, and he nailed one up on the wall beside the bar, with a picture of Tarrant on the front. He got ready to throw a dart in between Taz’s eyes, when Rosie asked if she can throw the first. Gimli pulled out a life-size cut out of Anna Nicole Smith and went to find his axe.
Page Three


Sil realised that everyone was buying drinks on his account, and had no money. He offered to do the washing instead. A man named Orimono entered, sat down, and lit his pipe in a corner. Meanwhile, Mellie was feeling guilty about not singing, so she stood up and sung a song from The Hobbit (J.R.R Tolkien, the one the dwarves sung about breaking things in Bag-End).
Gimli clapped for Mellie, and welcomed Orimono, telling him about the song rule. He also offered Mellie a room for the night, though she declined. Gimli then told her that customers too drunk to get home safely got rooms free of charge. Mellie ordered a China White, as Tom stood up and sung All For Me Grog (The Dubliners). Orimono fell asleep, but Tom shouted at him to wake up and sing. Orimono woke up, stood up and sung The Life of a Travler (Orimono_Shujin). He then went over to the bar and mixed vodka and OJ to make a Screwdriver, then lit a cigarette.
Grondy finally came back inside, and told Gimli to pour Orimono one of his finest. Sil reckoned that his turn had come, and he stood up and sung African Sky Blue (Johnny Clegg). Mellie poured herself a few tequilas, and gave one to Grondy. PlasticSquirrel hummed some mindless tune as he lined up a row of tequila shots. Orimono called out his pet talking mouse, Treize, who popped its head out of his coat pocket and said hello to the whole room, before going back inside. Orimono fell asleep and fell onto the floor with a thump.
Star was crying about a message she had got from home (burglars), and asked Gimli to give them to her strong, and keep them coming. Sil comforted her. An elf, Alassiel, walked in, and asked if anyone spoke Quenya. Grondy greeted her, then turned to look at Orimono’s coat pocket and asked Treize if had ever run into a miniaturised giant space hamster called Boo. Treize crawled out, and said that he had. He also turned to Alassiel and welcomed her. Alassiel returned the greeting, and sung a verse from the Lay of Tinuviel (J.R.R Tolkien). She then got a strawberry juice from Gimli, and walked out again. As she left, a tall lady hobbit, Rednell, came in, jumped up onto a table and sung Rant and Roar (Great Big Sea).
Grondy asked Gimli to bring Rednell two tankards of ale, as he wanted her to sing Barrett’s Privateers. Orimono woke up, said that he’d never thought that he would hear that song again, and fell back asleep. Treize asked if his master could have a room, since he was very tired.
Rednell jumped down from the table and declined singing something as long as Barrett’s Privateers, but she did prod Orimono with her foot and asked Gimli to remove him. Tom dropped his pint all over Ori, ‘apologised’, then asked if anyone knew the rest of the words to ‘Starry starry night’.
Star stood up and sung Starry, Starry Night (Don McLean). Tom thanked her for the lyrics, but unfortunately PlasticSquirrel hated the song so much he screamed in terror, and ran to the far side of the room, which woke Halo_Black up. She went to the stage and sung Harvest Home (Maddy Prior), in a much nicer voice from when she had last performed. Grondy congratulated her, and Mellie smiled and said goodnight to all, going up the stairs to the right of the bar. K, after a long time outside, finally came back in and apologised about her sulk, sitting down in a chair. Grondy realised that his Elvis jumpsuit was looking a little worse for wear, and left the inn to go and change it. K sat back, engrossed in her thoughts, while Halo_Black considered between singing again or leaving to scare some hobbit children.
So, Ur doin these 10 pages, then you pass it someone else? Kool. I'll do 50-59/60.
Well, I'm leaving it open to everyone, so if anyone wants to do page 4 then they are welcome to, if they stick to the rules I made above. Big Smile Smilie
PAGE FOUR OF DOOM

Gimli passes out from excitement, then Halo welcomes Tom, and worries about Gimli. Grondy recommends doing a dance, lifting a free pint to Halo, then Gimli throws an Axe at Aule, hitting him under the arm. Halo then spontaniously happy dances all over the bar, still worrying about Gimli. Aule then returns, and sings a song, about throwing Grondy over the bar because of Tom Bombadillo. Gimli then Establishes a new Rule number one: rule number one.. THERE WILL BE NO SINGING OF THAT DAMN SONG IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT!!!!!!!! Tom then recommends burying Gimli, before happy dancing, Grondmaster then recommends the corner behind the bar for Gimli.

Off Topic: This is Fun Orc Grinning Smilie, but I dunno what to miss out so it might sound dodgy

Gimli then revives, after a nightmare of having his beard trimmed, and announces Grondy is in a Polkadot dress. Tom turns around and agrees with him. He asks if Gimli is truely awake, and Gimli nods, before passing out again. Star then climbs off her bar stool, tripping over the dwarf. Grondy slams a guitar across Gimlis face, and bans rape from the area, Star is then shocked by Grondys behaviour, and takes Gimli upstairs. She gets a few drunk hobbits to help handcuff Gimli, and Gimli wakes up annoyed, screaming about the devil. Star pulls out a whip, and smacks it into the air, offended by Gimli.

Mellie woke, ordering some Frosties and Coke, greeted by Halo, who hugs Grondy and comments on the dress, (:orcginSmile Smilie and Grondy then Curtseys, showing his hairy legs. Tom decides not to look at Grondy, and sneaks behind the bar, announcing that everyone can have a free pint, so Halo leapt to the bar, promising to sing later, hearing Gimlis screams.

Grondy then tells Halo to ignore Gimlis slow death, as Star walks down the stairs dragging the whip, she comments on Gimli before throwing the Key onto the bar, leaving to look for a playground. Halo drags herself out of the Closet she passed out in and falls asleep at the bar, just as an elf, Tinuviel, bursts in, playing Beethovens Moonlight Sonata at full volume, before noticing everyone has hangovers, and is very proud. Gimli walks down the stairs, noticing Grondys Dress, causing a debate over the truth about Grondys dress. In a forgotten corner of the Inn, Tom wakes up, heading to ask Gimli where hes been, until she gets a headache from the Piano and Hangover, asking for Asperin.

Grondy re-enters the building, in a ruined polka-dot dress, and sings a song about clothes, asking for chicken soup. Star comes down the stairs, annoyed at the racket, before debating on wether squirrels are rodents, before asking about who let the dogs out. Tinuviel drinks the drink Grondy offered her, saying the next round is on her. Halo walks out of the inn carrying a lighter and muttering about windmills. Tom walks in, after a hopeless search for Gimlis trousers, and orders a drink, asking Gimli what Halo is doing with the lighter. Grondy then walks out with a pan on his head and a broom with spikes on it, saying he wanted people to help tilt some windmills. Gimli wakes up from under the bar, muttering about windmills. PlasticSquirrel appears, asking what is wrong with Rodents, before Star slaps Gimli, ordering him to tilt a windmill.

Grondmaster returns, having failed, and sings a song, saying he wanted Gimli to help collect his trousers, mentioning That GRONDY wears Legolas Boxers Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie, before Star admits Gimli was not a mouse.

Done Orc Grinning Smilie


O.K, that's great, Surivan (like that name?). I won't be around until next Tuesday, though. Can you remind Thorin to change his lastest post in ADTFTN to be a speech about his dead dwarves, not Fornad's dead Rangers?
Thanks.
PAGE FIVE - THE END OF TIME.
-Or maybe just time freezing.

TomBombadillo falls onto the floor, laughing, before offering Grondy his coat, but not his trousers, before Gimli begins a poll; Grondy with Trousers or Grondy with Legolas faced Unmentionables. Star-of-hope and Tinúviel vote for the Legolas faced Unmentionables, before Star-of-hope puts Boromir on her Unmentionables.

The Windmill turns round, while a confused Halo_Black speaks nonsense. Bombadill stops the world, and Halo gets off, and asks for a drink. Tinúviel realises that Bombadill may have the Ring of Power which controls time, and Grondy thinks that Bombadill is related to Ruby the Galactic Gumshoe, who can slow time. The Fire Brigade arrives, and puts out the fire on the Windmill. Gimli then votes for the Gimli unmentionables, before Halo realises they need a Christmas tree.

Halo pulls out an Magic; The Gathering trading card of a christmas tree, and waves it about, causing a tree to appear. Faramir arrives, and sings A Poem by Tolkien, about oliphaunts, before bowing and accepting a mug of beer. Gimli welcomes him, while confused over the Christmas tree, and Faramir scratches his head, also confused. Star-of-hope compliments the tree, before Halo sings This Song by Mercury Rev, before asking for beer. Gimli slides it down, before collapsing in excitement. Faramir offers to help up Gimli.

Suddenly, a grinchy looking Skwerl leaves the inn, with all the christmas presents. Star-of-hope quickly notices, and alerts the rest of the Inn.

Will do it when I get round to it...