Allyssa, an elf, was the first customer to enter the Inn. She sung the first two lines of The Fall of Gil-Galad
(J.R.R Tolkien) and Gimli congratulated her, and gave her a mug of ale on the house. Grondmaster, a hobbit, then walked in wearing full Elvis costume. He sung a song from ROTK on the stage
, sung by Sam in Cirith Ungol (J.R.R Tolkien).
Tom Bombadil came in immediately afterward, and sung his song, beginning with ‘Hey dol! Merry dol! Ring a dong dillo!
’ (J.R.R Tolkien). He got a cold mug of ale from Gimli, then left to free the hobbits from the willow-man. Gimli watched him leave, then went up to sing Behind Blue Eyes
(The Who). Allyssa grinned, Tom came back in, and sung the first verse of his song again. He gave a round of beer to all.
PlasticSquirrel entered with an electric guitar, and played Eruption
(Van Halen). He then ordered a Guiness, which Gimli provided. Grondy asked where the electricity came from, and Gimli replied that the Inn was hamster-powered and that the hamsters liked it because it was orc toe with ranch dipping sauce day on Fridays
. PlasticSquirrel ordered a bowl of jellied eels, which Gimli served up. Grondy went to the mike and sung Lies
(Stan Rogers). Gimli then nailed a wanted sign to the door about thieves (not sure why...).
Halo_Black appeared, and demanded a rendition of Knees Up Mother Brown
(Irving Taylor). PlasticSquirrel sat down at the piano
and started to play the tune. Gollum entered, and sung the aforementioned song, then leaped into Halo_Black’s arms. Grondy applauded from his plate of jellied eels, then Halo_Black dropped Gollum, went over to Grondy and finished his beer for him, then realised that one of the eels was still alive. She ran into the toilets
, flushed the eel down one, then came back into the pub.
Gollum picked himself up, muttering, then jumped on top of the piano and sung Time
(Pink Floyd). Halo_Black apologised to Gollum for dropping him, then suddenly seemed to suffer from temporary memoy loss, and couldn’t remember dropping him at all. Goes into hysterics. Grondy them pointed out that she hadn’t sung yet, and Halo_Black sticks her tongue out at him and shows him the bottom of her glass, which came from the Prancing Pony
. Gollum then reminds her that he jumped into her arms, and she remembers. She then wonders what to sing, and threatens to sing the Scooby-Doo theme tune
(Ben Raleigh) if nothing else. Grondy protested forcefully to this, but PlasticSquirrel and Gollum thought it was a great idea and begin to sing it.
Meanwhile, Keeper*of*the*stars, a half-elf, (who I shall call K from now on), came in, wrapped in shadows, and sat down. Tom Bombadil told her that she would have to sing, but K replied that she didn’t sing, and went over to the bar and ordered a mai tale. Gimli told her she would have to sing, but she refused coldly, and a startled dwarf gave it over.
Halo_Black then began to sing in Scooby-Doo in the most excruciatingly painful voice known to man, elf, hobbit, or dwarfkind. Horse alarms go off outside, glass breaks, dogs and cats start to howl, until she is finally knocked over by a boot thrown by one of the guests. She continued to sing weakly, but another boot knocked her out.
PlasticSquirrel (who is half-deaf
) applauds her. Grondy takes out an avil from his Marvellous Bag of Holding
and prepares to drop it on the Squirrel if he should request an encore. At the other side of the room, Tom leans over to K at his table to serenade her. However, Goldberry comes in, whacks him on the head with a handbag, and drags him out. Gimli sniggers from behind the bar, then walks up onto the stage and shines a light on K, demanding a song.
She walked over to the piano and sung May it be an Evening Star
(Enya). Gollum, who was still on the piano, congratulated her, and Grondy bowed, though PlasticSquirrel clapped his hands over his ears, since he hates Enya. K thanked Grondy and Gollum, and went back to sit down. Halo_Black also clapped for K, then suddenly her mother, an Uruk-hai, walked in, and said that they were going on their holidays to Cornwall. Halo_Black left with her family, and Gimli waved goodbye. PlasticSquirrel began to sing the Spiderman theme tune
(Paul Webster). Gimli commented on what an odd crowd he had that night.
Wow, that took a long time. All that in one page... oh well, one down, sixty-seven to go!