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Thread: The brooding club

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Hope you're mobile again, Grondy. That must have been terrible for you. It makes me realise just how much I take being mobile for granted.

I've nothing to gripe about at the moment. Although I lost my Dad in February and one of my uncles 2 weeks ago (the fourth younger brother that my mother has lost, and none reached retirement age), personally life is going well for me. Work is still fun, if a little too busy, and my family are well. I think spring helps - seeing the trees coming into bloom and the birds singing. It's nice after winter.
Very late to this thread but I want to say I'm very sorry about the loss of your dad, Valedhelgwath! Please accept my condolences!

My particular bit of whining at this time is on behalf of my two children. My daughter who was just married this summer will be moving back to live in my basement because her husband lot his job. The job front does seem pretty dire. My son, who just turned 30, wants to get married and bring his fiancee to live here with him but his pay rate has been cut by 25% so he now needs a better job as well. >sigh<

Spring (now summer) does help keep the spirits up. We've had a remarkably wet spring and everything is green, green, green. Not how it usually is on the high plains this time of year.
Im really sorry for you Valedhelgwath and for everyone who has spoken up in this thread and also for those who have not.i just read this thread and its so beautiful.So honest and sympathetic.

As for me i dont like to complain and waste others' times but as you can always skip this it does not matter.
Well its my parents and i love them very much.My parents are going through the excruciating process of a divorce and i keep shuttling between places trying to spend a weekend with mum or an off day with dad.My father is a busy man and he does not have time for anybody.Ever since i can remember my dad scared me.With his moods,his harsh words,his complete lack of sympathy.He used to beat me and say cruel things at the drop of a hat.I was expected to excel in everything..studies,music,art.And i did my best..always.My mum tried to shield me as much as she could but then it became too much for her too.She decided it was over.Now i live on and off with my parents and i now realize that i dont mean anything to them.They dont miss me and they dont care if i visit them or not.well love is strange and even though they dont care i will always love them.i just need love so much and yet i cant make my own family love me.
Hi Odette, I felt I had to reply as I grew up in a similar environment.
I myself am 35 now and have my own family, I was extremely worried that I would carry that old family life over to my new family but nope, my kids get lots of love and kisses from me (my Father never showed me love of any kind) and even though I get grumpy with them from time to time, it's not something that gets out of control like it did when I was a kid.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you'll have a family of your own one day and then you'll be able to give and receive the love you're not receiving now, I hope this helps, though I know it can be very hard to stay positive and not let it get to you, but things will get better in time.
Thank you very much Rho because frankly speaking i am scared of getting into relationships.I cant make anything work because i think i wont be able to ever love anyone properly.Well your life is insightful and maybe i wont try to think so much and Accept,Adapt and AchieveSmile SmilieThanks so much for understanding
Good advice for Odette Rho.
Take it slow and easy Rho. And perhaps you are wrong about at least your mother. Trauma does terrible things to people and at times they might seem wrapped up their world but in truth it is a fact that they are damaged and need time to get well in their emotions and mind and find themselves again. You said mummy tried to shield you as much as possible, now that that is over she might have just collapsed in on herself like an implosion but you would not know of it. I cannot think she would bother to shield you and then now not care. She sounds burned out and broken and rather lost.. Just remember the good she did for you and reach out to her and wait and see. And you sound very loving, it will be alright. Only never rush into a relationship, that is my opinion, it yields very little in happiness it seems to me.
Val I am so sorry about your father and Sian, you are strong and capable and inventive,. It will be okay.
Mum was always there for me but now i guess as you say she is burnt out.She loves dad and me and its very difficult for her.I understand that and i try not to judge her.But dad is someone i wont ever forgive because he ruined me a lot as a person.this kind of thing cripples you for life.He ruined every Christmas,every vacation,every holiday.
I could tell you about my problems, but I thought I'd take a different tack. Here on PT I have found some good friends, and I'd like to mention how they brighten my life. One of these is Valedhelgwath, my good friend in England, who writes fantastic ME-based stories in his spare time. He and I have shared the loss of loved ones, our love for family and career, and much more. Then there is Virumor, my friend in Belgium. He and I used to hold the line in discussions on PT. And then there is Morambar, who used to visit here, but has been busy in his life elsewhere. He and I have become "brothers" in the years we have conversed. Now he planning to move from his native Texas to Europe to start a new married life with his lady. There are others who may or may not remember me. But I truly treasure all these friends. They make PT a home I always come back to.

Gandalf
I have been wondering where you went, Gandalf. It's nice to see that you are still here. Smile Smilie
Thanks, Amarie. One I should have mentioned (outside of the esteemed Council!) is Fionwe Urion. He and I have been playing PT tag for over a year, I think! Recently, he tried to leave me his email so I could find him on Facebook, but somehow the email is wrong, for it turned up nothing on FB and an email to him got returned undeliverable. So I ask any here who know Fionwe if they would kindly contact him and tell him I have been trying to reach him. Tell him he can email me directly, as he already has the address. Thanks to all who can help!

Gandalf
Well, Fionwe found me again here, and now I have found him on Facebook. So thanks for those who thought about helping....
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