Very well put!
Indeed that is how it is. Sam can never understand exactly how it is to hold that Thing. Frodo wants to know that Gollum can be saved, so that he can too. He has to have hope when there is none, just a fool's hope.
And about accusing Sam of stupidity, I think he was just defending his own heart, knowing that it was true what Sam said. But he didnt want to believe it. Frodo wants to believe he can be saved, when in the end, it really did take him: He never really healed, and since he still loved the RIng so much, he never married.
Well what's great about Sam is how he DOES have an idea what it's like to hold that thing. However, he and Bilbo are the only two ring bearers to ever willingly give up the ring. Though Bilbo was kind of forced to willingly give it away. Sam, even though he used it several times and held it through Mordor, was able to give back the ring without hesitation (there was slight hesitation in the movies, but not in the books). Then there was when he desperately wanted to help Frodo destroy it, but instead of just taking it off the weakend, collapsed Frodo, like most would, he decided to just pick up Frodo himself.
"I may not be able to carry it for you, but I can carry you!"
This shows he does know what it's like to carry the ring. He knows the price. But he is able to resist it. So perhaps by saying what he did, he had no intent to insult Frodo but inform him. Maybe he knew what Frodo's reaction would be, but also knew it needed to be said.
So what he has no idea about is being unable to resist its temptation. Now while I'm sure over a long time he would've succumbed to its corruption (though less so than Bilbo over 60-some years), Frodo basically did immediately. So Sam is unique in the sense he has the ability to fight the corruption of the ring more than most others. So perhaps by saying what he did, he thought he could ultimately inspire Frodo into resisting the transformation into a Gollum, but in execution it just made him mad.
This begs the question, how different would the story have been if Sam had acquired the ring. Would Frodo have said the same thing to him? We know Sam had a MUCH stronger will. Could Frodo even carry Sam? I don't see Elijah Wood lifting Sean Astin for particularly long!! Just mindless speculation...
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