Oscars

frodo_baggins
Posts: 112

Oscars

Post#1 » Mon Jul 05, 2004 7:21 pm

I know this is a bit late, but I'm new and I thought people might want to read this. It is about the ROTK and the eleven oscars it was nominated for:

Jan. 27, 2004 MINAS TIRITH (AP) The city of Minas Tirith has been abuzz today over the news that 'The Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King,' while receiving 11 nominations including Best Picture and Best Director, did not receive any nominations for acting.

"Eleven nominations?" said Pippin Took, of the Shire. "Well, that's good news."

His friend Meriadoc Brandybuck responded by swatting him over the head with the newspaper and protesting, "But the cast is a part of this movie! Aren't they?"

Their kinsman Frodo Baggins shared Brandybuck's dismay. Upon reading the list of nominations, Baggins commented with an ironic chuckle, "They've left out one of the chief characters: the cast. I want to hear more about them." Waxing solemn and soulful, he added, "The movie wouldn't have got far without the cast."

"You almost don't want to watch the awards ceremony," contributed Baggins' gardener and loyal valet, Samwise Gamgee, "because how can it be happy? How can the awards go right when so much bad has been nominated? Folks in that Academy had lots of chances of voting for these actors, only they didn't."

Legolas Greenleaf, of the Mirkwood realm, commented somewhat cryptically on the Academy's choices, "A red sun rises. Lame decisions have been made this night." When asked to clarify his opinion, he told reporters that he had not the heart, for the grief was still too near, and retired for a walk in the forest.

His companion, Gimli son of Gloin, had sharper remarks to make upon the chosen nominees. "Mystic River? What madness drew them there? You'll find more cheer in a graveyard!"

But wizard Gandalf the White urged a more optimistic approach. "Do not be too eager to deal out Oscars in judgement," he advised. "That is not for us to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the Oscars we are given."

Meanwhile, his colleague Saruman the formerly-White was in favor of retaliation against the Academy: "Too long have those peasants stood against us," Saruman said, referring to the Academy's failure to give any fantasy film the Best Picture Oscar yet. "Leave none alive! To war! There will be no dawn for film critics!"

Treebeard, of the Ents, told reporters after much deliberation and exchanging of long names, that he was in agreement with this proposed course of action. "There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of Men for this treachery," he declared. "My business is with Beverly Hills tonight. With heads made of cotton candy and rock."

"I do not doubt their hearts," Eomer of Rohan conceded. "Only the size of their brains." He then returned to the task of loading up forty of his men and horses with toilet paper and Maps to the Stars' Homes, for a "secret midnight mission" that he regretted he could not give details about.

At least one individual, calling himself Smeagol, claimed to be making plans to steal the Oscar statuettes. "Oscar is sooo pretty, sooo golden," said Smeagol. "We will take the statuesss once the Hollywood snobses are dead! Ye-esss, precious!" He then quickly added, groveling at the feet of reporters, "No! No! We were only joking! Smeagol wouldn't hurt a fly! Nice movie industry." He crawled away before he could be questioned further.

Still others appeared not to care about the snub. Lady Eowyn of Rohan said with a shrug, "The women of this country learned long ago that those without Oscar nominations may still get dates to awards ceremonies. I fear neither critics nor fans." Lord Boromir, a native of Minas Tirith, dismissed the concerns, claiming, "Gondor has no actors. Gondor needs no actors."

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Vee
Posts: 2711

Oscars

Post#2 » Tue Jul 06, 2004 4:13 am

"Leave none alive! To war! There will be no dawn for film critics!"



Haha! Oh that made me laugh on a Tuesday morning.......

Come on - more!!! What about Bilbo and Elrond or Sauron? What did they say?

Shall we all join in?

When asked for his comment, Elrond Lord of Rivendell said "Well, Mr Anderrrrrrrson...." before being led away by men in dark suits and sunglasses. He was later reported as having accused the critics of being a virus.

(OK, that wasn't as good as yours!)

Do a few more, go on.

frodo_baggins
Posts: 112

Oscars

Post#3 » Tue Jul 06, 2004 6:46 am

Actually that was all I have. Anyone's welcome to make up their own though.

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grondmaster
Posts: 25451

Oscars

Post#4 » Tue Jul 06, 2004 4:30 pm

Actually, I think both Sam and Gollum should have received nominations for Best Supporting Male Actor. While Frodo should have received a 'Time-Out' Award for over-mugging the hardships of carrying the Ring on its journey. :tongueelf:
'Share and enjoy'

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tinuviel
Posts: 15

Oscars

Post#5 » Mon Jul 19, 2004 2:41 pm

"I do not doubt their hearts," Eomer of Rohan conceded. "Only the size of their brains." He then returned to the task of loading up forty of his men and horses with toilet paper and Maps to the Stars' Homes, for a "secret midnight mission" that he regretted he could not give details about.


haha that one was my favorite... the one about legolas was great too. And Gandalf's! Oh, they were all good...

thanx very much! :hahaha:
A completely balmy fan, living life to the fullest!

thrain iii
Posts: 9

Oscars

Post#6 » Sat Jul 31, 2004 1:30 pm

11 nominations eh? i think thats how much Titanic got. whats happening in this world

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perwing
Posts: 67

Oscars

Post#7 » Sat Jul 31, 2004 5:03 pm

crappy movies getting lots of Oscar's....

(although concerning Titanic, that was actually a good movie!
I am Perwing - fear me!! ;-)
(just look at my pic, scary huh??)

eldarwen
Posts: 13

Oscars

Post#8 » Sat Feb 19, 2005 8:07 pm

Absolutely hysterical. My fav is the one about Treebeard.

Thank you for the laugh. :hahaha:

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lord_aragorn86
Posts: 2241

Oscars

Post#9 » Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:01 am

Come on - more!!! What about Bilbo and Elrond or Sauron?

Shall I try, Goddess?

The reporters found Bilbo dozing away in a corner with a book in his hand. On being woken up he asked of a Dunadan saying he needed his help to finish his poetry. On being aware of the reporters waiting expectantly around him, he asked them if he could have a peek at the statuette. On seeing a flash of it inside a reporters tunic, his face was transformed and he jumped at the reporter frightening him and the others around. But then Bilbo instantly shrank away and apologised saying, "I'm sorry you had to see me like this." The reporters had by that time fled away.

Tom Bombadillo on being asked to give his views actually ung them. The verses were as follows:
Hey dillo! Ho dillo! Tom Bombadillo!
Tonight I'll go and sleep on my pillow.
I brought for Peter Jackson a few water-lily,
Hey dilly! Ho dilly! Tra la la tilly!
11 Oscars won by the movie-o.
Hey dillo! Ho dillo! Tom Bombadillo!


Sauron was not present but could be contacted only through a palantir. He is reported to have said, "I have had my Eye on the Oscars for too long. It was time the movies were given what they deserved."

So how do you feel about this? A favourable response might make me churn my head again for a few more such reports!
I am nobody.....and nobody is perfect.......therefore I am perfect.

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Vee
Posts: 2711

Oscars

Post#10 » Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:28 am

"I have had my Eye on the Oscars for too long


Yay! Love it!


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