When I say muddle through, I mean you learn from the ones you've been involved with or seen your friends with and eventually you're able to distinguish, to a good degree, the ones that look like trouble. There are always signs or gestures to look out for.
Now, there are no guarantees and it's not always easy but as long as you don't rush into anything too fast you can really start to see a person for who they really are. But you have to keep your eyes open.........
Spoken like a very wise young lady! I really dig you Ringy, from everything I’ve read about you, and conversations we’ve had here and there, it sounds like to me some fool of a Took is going to be pretty lucky to land you!
Anyway, I have a couple of things I want to say. I’ve been married (gasp) for 13 months now, but my wife and I have been together for 6 ½ years, and she is the greatest! She totally and completely accepts me for who I am, she has never, ever tried to change me, and she has always supported me, and completely gives me the space I need to be me, and to do what I do (music is my main gig). We get along so well, and in the last 6 ½ years, I can count the number of times we’ve argued on one hand (I can’t even call them fights, because to this day, I don’t think we’ve ever had a real fight). I know she’s the perfect person for me, and that’s why I committed to the death sentence.
Brace yourselves fellas, we also cook together! We both love food, and we enjoy making stuff together as a team, and having our friends over all the time to grub. I’m the grill master, and my wife is the Queen of baked goodies, gourmet appetizers, side dishes, sauces, marinades etc… Not to brag, but my wife is the bomb in the kitchen! Her cooking will blow you away (Eru I’m lucky)! Guess what, I also do dishes, and so does she. I do them most of the time, cause she does most of the cooking, but she certainly does her fair share as well. Did I mention that she can drink most guys under the table?
We do our laundry together most of the time, unless it’s been a while, and then I’ll just take it upon myself, because I have a much more flexible schedule than she does, so I’ll just bust it out. I do take care of all our plants though, because that’s just something she can’t do. I know how to keep them alive, and she knows how to kill them! I’m also the chief garbage taker outer (which is cool, that’s a man’s job anyway), though she does help out with that once in a while. I also manage our money, keep track of the finances, and deal with all the financial b.s. cause I’m just better at that sort of thing. I guess my point is fellas, is that there are those special ladies out there, and they’re worth it.
Now on to the pain! :veryevil:
You will never know what it’s like to truly love someone, until you loved someone you had to let go! As much as I love my wife (and I do immensely, more now today than when we first met), she’s not the love of my life. The love of my life crushed me, and ripped my heart out when we broke up about 10 years ago. I’m not going to go into some long, big sob story, because it’s complicated, and I would be here all day, but when we broke up, it was the right thing to do, and it was the best thing for her. It wasn’t the best thing for me (and the pain and torment I suffered was d@mn near unbearable), I loved her more than life itself, but it was the right thing to do for her, and I truly loved her so much, that I let her go. In truth I’ve never stopped loving her, but I had to move on. I’ve just learned to bury my feelings, and the pain, and to accept things for the way they are.
She actually called me out of the blue about 2 months ago, after not seeing her, or speaking with her for 7 years, and just the sound of her voice was almost more than I could take. She had no idea I was married now, and it hurt me to tell her. She’s just the one person I never wanted to say that to. Anyway we talked for a while, and it was so cool just to hear from her. To know that she’s alive, and at least doing well, but it really f%ed with my head for a few days after that.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy, I love my wife, and I know that she’s actually the perfect person for me. I’m lucky, and I know it! I would never do anything to hurt her, she’s been there for me through thick and thin, and I have way too much respect for her. I guess my point to all the fellas out there is, even if you loved somebody, and gotten hurt for whatever reason, that’s no need to take the hard a$$ attitude, and never open up, or love, or trust somebody ever again. If you do, you may end up missing out on the perfect person for you. In life, we have to take the bitter with the sweet!
"I would have the Ring-bearer bring the crown to me, and let Mithrandir set it upon my head, if he will; for he has been the mover of all that has been accomplished, and this is his victory." Elessar