I’m sorry to hear about your loss as well Val. It’s just that most unpleasant part of life that all of us have to deal with eventually, and as I said before, all we can do is to keep living, and to do our best!
The older I get though, the more and more I seem to get bummed out. Don’t get me wrong, I love life, and I love living, and no matter how bad things might be in anyone of our lives at a given time, you should never give up, because life is always worth living, and should be celebrated.
Each day we have here is a true blessing, and you never know what tomorrow may bring. We can never give up our hopes and dreams! But sometimes, the more and more I look down the road all I see is pain.
Dealing with my Grandmother’s death back around 1991 was hard enough, and I’ve lost another Grandparent since then. Now this thing with my great Uncle, and I know my great Aunt probably won’t be too far behind. My Grandfather on my Mom’s side is still alive and in good health, but he’s aged quite a bit in the last few years, and father time is really starting to catch up with him. I know that he doesn’t have much time left either.
Then it’s going to be my cat that my wife and I absolutely adore, because he’s close to nine now, and probably only has another ten years. Then it will be my parents, and then the wife’s parents (my father in law is already not in good shape due to various health problems, and I think he will be the first to go out of our parents).
I don’t mean to be a downer, but like I said, sometimes when I look down the road at my life, and what the future holds, all I see is pain, pain, and more pain, and an endless circle of death, sorrow, and loss. It’s hard to think about, and tough to face, but it’s also the cold, hard reality of life.
Btw, I now know I won’t be able to make it to the funeral this weekend for my great Uncle. I was holding out hope that this check that I’m expecting would be here today, but it didn’t show up. The worst thing is I know for certain that I have about $3000 coming in anytime between tomorrow, and next Friday. If the funeral was next weekend, I would be able to make it, and that’s already ripping me up inside.
I’m going to feel so terrible on Saturday sitting out here in glorious Santa Barbara when my great Uncle’s funeral is happening, and I’m not there. The pain of missing this, and not being able to be there is something I fear will eat at me for the rest of my life.
With the way life’s bitter ironies seem to play out, my check will probably show up in the mail on Saturday when it’s too late.
"I would have the Ring-bearer bring the crown to me, and let Mithrandir set it upon my head, if he will; for he has been the mover of all that has been accomplished, and this is his victory." Elessar