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valedhelgwath
Posts: 4233

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Post#1 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Great poem Beleg (says someone who knows very little about poetry). It evoked images of their meeting as strongly as when I first read the book.

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grondmaster
Posts: 25451

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Post#2 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

It all works for me except the pronouns in the last stanza may be confusing to those who don't know the story.
The Witch King of Angmar turned and fled him,
Olorin, Warrior of Past,
But little he knew, for his death was at hand:

Rohan had come at last.
The "he" points to Olorin, the last named; therefore that line might better read:
But little the Witch King knew, for his death was at hand:
if you aren't worried about the meter change.

Of course, I'm only a reader, not a poet; I don't know the rules or which can be bent when.
'Share and enjoy'

Beleg_Strongbow
Posts: 147

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Post#3 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

I see what you're saying, Grondy. How about this:

The Witch King of Angmar then turned and fled
Olorin Warrior of Past,
But little he knew, for his death was at hand:

Rohan had come at last.


Does that work?


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grondmaster
Posts: 25451

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Post#4 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Yws, I think it is better.
'Share and enjoy'

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