Comments on "Throwback"

User avatar
valedhelgwath
Posts: 4233

Comments on "Throwback"

Post#1 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

With you posting the story twice, the last paragraph came as a bit of a surprise considering I was only halfway through the sheets I had printed off. Was this intentional? It certainly made it dramatic.
I agree with the comments that Rednell made. In fact Rednell has summed up your work for me better than I could have done myself. Thank you, Rednall.
I wonder now whether the encounter with Gull is a turning point in Addaun's life? I doubt it will ever stop him hunting changelings, but does he now realize his noble cause is tarnished and that his life has become just an instrument of unnecessary revenge. I feel pity for Addaun at that point. Not only has he lost his halo, but he too realizes that he has.

User avatar
PlasticSquirrel
Posts: 3577

Comments on "Throwback"

Post#2 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

I was going to say that i though it was a little short, and needed more fleshing out of the characters, but you've just answered that question for me, so I won't bother saying it.
http://www.plasticsquirrel.co.uk for all your bizarre music and musings needs

User avatar
Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Comments on "Throwback"

Post#3 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

So why did you...? :shakehead: oh, err....Plastic!! :boom:

Does anyone have anything better to say?
"May the Angels Guide"

User avatar
rednell
Posts: 1798

Comments on "Throwback"

Post#4 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Allyssa,
When I read Throwback the first time I felt it ended too abruptly. The interesting thing is that the story stayed with me and because of the ending I found myself thinking more about Addaun and Gull. I disagree with Plastic about the development of the characters. You introduce Addaun as gallant indicating he is the hero representing good. Your description of the changelings suggests absolute evil. Addaun’s bitterness and thirst for revenge came though loud and clear. Gull’s instinct for survival requires him to turn a blind eye to the evil atrocities committed by the changelings but he disapproves of the atrocities. Whatever good is in Addaun’s heart is contaminated by his bitterness. His “ancestral character” softens whatever evil is in Gull, as a changeling. As you have noted, no absolutes. I would like to have seen more dialogue between Gull and Addaun. Change the ending? I think your ending is quite effective. Your hero certainly lost his halo.
Rednell :read:

chikakat
Posts: 729

Comments on "Throwback"

Post#5 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

ok, so I'm way better at like editing than actual creative stuff, so I copied your story to microsoft word and did notations and stuff there because I figured it'd be easier that way than going 'on the 3rd line of paragraph 8 blah blah..." and I emailed it to you...

overall, cool story - I liked it a lot...the ending is great, but definitely a bit abrupt - if you could somehow keep the same feeling to it, but exapnd a bit, I think it'd be perfect.

User avatar
valedhelgwath
Posts: 4233

Comments on "Throwback"

Post#6 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Look forward to your Orcish love story, Allyssa. I love stories that explore the preconcieved world from a different angle.

User avatar
valedhelgwath
Posts: 4233

Comments on "Throwback"

Post#7 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

What has happened to the Throwback story? I see it has recently disappeared from the Fan Fiction section.... Can we expect more in the near future?

User avatar
Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Comments on "Throwback"

Post#8 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

It was decided that Planet Tolkien should only have Tolkien related Fan Fiction. My story was outside that catagory, being set in a quite different world. If anyone would like me to email them a copy, let me know. :D

I am working on The Demons Within story again (having finished school for the year). I may even turn it into a serial, if that is acceptable to the management. ;) I will submit the first part to the council for assessment ASAP. :D
"May the Angels Guide"

User avatar
Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Comments on "Throwback"

Post#9 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

I would just like to say how flattered I am that 'Throwback' was missed. That has to be one of the best compliments I have ever had as an postAuthorID. :D
"May the Angels Guide"

User avatar
valedhelgwath
Posts: 4233

Comments on "Throwback"

Post#10 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Maybe I just spend too much time sifting through these pages, Allyssa. It was one of the first stories to grace the fan fiction board, though.

Return to “Writers Guild”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest