Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

User avatar
TomBombadillo
Posts: 2746

Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

Post#1 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

I thought it was very good. Well-written is the least I can say... And it's extremely good as a prologue, I guess. You know, in the beginning you don't know who it is about and what it is about, but little by little you get to know it, and that makes it exciting to read. It's one hell of a prologue, that's for sure! :D
Denial is not a river in Africa.

User avatar
gnampie
Posts: 275

Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

Post#2 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

At first I wanted to send you this with e-mail, but I changed my mind and decided to post it here. Maybe we can get some kind of discussion going on.

I read your story yesterday. I liked it a lot. You really like dropping the reader in the middle of something. The text made me really curious and made me want to read more. But somehow I am left with a feeling that all is already over. The Eye is gone (but I do wonder what ‘the Eye’ really is) and Dunstan is dead. Is this the end of the story and will the rest of the story be flashbacks? Or does it move on from this point? Maybe you could add something to make this somewhat more clear. So the reader is even more curious about what is to follow or what comes next. Just a little hint without revealing too much.
I don’t think I would like this prologue being the end of the story, telling the previous events in flashbacks. Because if this is the case, you already know the Eye is dropped into the sea and Dunstan dies. In this case, I think I would like the prologue to end when Dunstan gets to the edge. In case this is indeed only the beginning of the story and things move on from this point, I wouldn’t change the prologue but maybe add a little something of what is about to follow.

Btw, how are things going with your Gull-story?

User avatar
Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

Post#3 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Thanks Gnampie. The Gull story is comming soon! :)


The prologue is set "in the past" of the main narrative as if the prologue is a piece of history for this world. The Eye is not lost; it turns up again in an unlikely place! The study of a mediocre wizard in charge of a Magic Academy of sorts.

The prologue is explained later in the novel. The idea is to get the reader to ask the very questions that Gnampie has asked, so I suppose that I succeeded there. The point of the prologue was to catch the readers interest, which hopefully it does. I just feel that it is missing something....


"May the Angels Guide"

User avatar
valedhelgwath
Posts: 4233

Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

Post#4 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

I read your prologue, and really enjoyed it, Allyssa. You made Dunstan's wounds feel very realistic, and gave a real feel to him being hunted. As for being fleshed out, I don't think that it needs to be. A prologue should grip the reader and make them want to delve further into the book. Yours does this by leaving several questions unanswered. I, as a reader, now want to read more to find out what happens. I was particularly intrigued by the comment made by the Serephrim. They appear to have been part of the same order as Dunstan....... Intigued. I want more!

Eryan
Posts: 845

Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

Post#5 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Congratulations Allyssa!
Your writing really has that Tolkienish "something" which reminds some of the best parts of the Silmarillion and of Unfinished Tales.
I am really very curious about the whole story now!

User avatar
Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

Post#6 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Would you like me to tell you about it or read some more? I could send out a few more samples, but the novel is a ways off finished. I really must knuckle down! :)
"May the Angels Guide"

Eryan
Posts: 845

Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

Post#7 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Both I think!!!!

User avatar
Snape
Posts: 1294

Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

Post#8 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

"The Eye is not lost; it turns up again in an unlikely place" - Where have I heard something simliar like that before? hm............. *runs away very quickly*...................... :) Love you Allyssa xx :)

chikakat
Posts: 729

Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

Post#9 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

I didn't get a copy... :(

User avatar
Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Comments on "Prologue of Wyvern's Eye"

Post#10 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

"The Eye is not lost; it turns up again in an unlikely place" - Where have I heard something simliar like that before?


Where Taz? I will tell you if my story differs substantially.

It was not found by a slimy little creature with homosidal tendancies nor does it end up in the possession of a well-to-do, exceptionally short person with hairy feet.

But others who have read the overview of my novel have (on the surface) critisized it for lacking in originality. They could be right! But I think I will continue with the project anyway and see how it turns out. :) It is, after all, my first novel.
"May the Angels Guide"

Return to “Writers Guild”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron