'unfinished' poem

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42
Posts: 507

'unfinished' poem

Post#1 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Thats awesome valar_deimosa! Maybe you should join the writers guild or something....There's some other poems in there as well. Does the title of this thread ('unfinished' poem) mean that you haven't finished it yet?
:cool:

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Snape
Posts: 1294

'unfinished' poem

Post#2 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

you WILL join the writers guild! ;-)

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Allyssa
Posts: 1657

'unfinished' poem

Post#3 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

okay, I am no poet, but i liked it though. Goose-bump material. I thought it could do with a little tweek here and there though.

Darkness has fall(en), for the Dark Lord has (been)reborn
By the power of the undead, he has awaken(ed)...
Listen...I know you will hear,
Be prepared...(and) do not fear,
A new (Ringlord?) will arise, A new battle will begin
But with the power of courage and hope
Together we can stop
The Nameless...
The One Evil
(The evil of the One...)


You may feel free to ignore my suggestions completely if you like Valar_deimosa. As I said I dont know much about poetry.

And please do join Valar, the more the merrier. :D

nn[Edited on 29/5/2002 by Allyssa]
"May the Angels Guide"

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Snape
Posts: 1294

'unfinished' poem

Post#4 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

*moved*...

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grondmaster
Posts: 25451

'unfinished' poem

Post#5 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Darkness has fall(en), for the Dark Lord has (been) reborn
By the power of the undead, he was awaken(ed)...
Listen...I know you will hear,
Be prepared...(and) do not fear,
A new (Hero) will arise, A new battle will begin
(With but) the power of (hope) and (courage)
(We together) can stop
The Nameless...(the Evil One).
I also know nothing about writing poetry; however, to most of Allyssa's suggestions, I have added a few of my own. Ignore them if you wish. (I was going to say 'at your peril', but as I haven't even welcomed you to the forum yet, that wouldn't be kind and you might even think I was serious.) :grin:

Welcome to the forum Valar_deimosa :)

I had received Allyssa's permission, to move your poem here, but Taz beat me to it. Good show all around. :)nn[Edited on 30/5/2002 by Grondmaster]
'Share and enjoy'

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