I really like your story! You give such insight into the day to day lives of the Elves. Such a gift! I can hardly wait for the succeeding chapters.
The hiccup Allyssa may be referring to is that the last line on page 2 does not connect with the first line on page 3.
:read: the Bowmaster grown few and would grow fewer still.
It would seem part of the story is missing at this point.
Other than that 2 little minor things:
When Berendil is asking Legolas to stay out of competition I find the phrase - from now on- too modern for this story. Try something like - henceforth- or - from this time forward- or some such thing.
When Berendil et al announce the punishment.
But life is not always fair, and anyway
- Anyway- does not feel right there, I think I would leave it out.
I think if Chathol-linn submits the story to this site and we do not copy form the Tolkien Online site the copyright is not violated. The postAuthorID owns the copyright unless she sells it.
Anyway, great stuff, Chathol-linn.