Hi – just read The Watcher in the Water this weekend. I thought it was good, and much better than most stories on the Internet. What I liked about it is that Valedhelgwath has captured the characters of Dwarves and made them seem realistic. Valedhelgwath does this with both prose and with dialog (although I agree with an earlier comment that “okay” is out of place. But that is just one word.)
One thing – Valedhelgwath uses the adverb “slightly” and I find that it weakens and qualifies the action. It is at odds with the sturdy characters presented. I doubt these Dwarves did anything slightly. But please take this as a featherweight criticism; the story works well.
It certainly captured my attention and interest. So many fanficts seem to be miles of snappy dialog and no action; no story. It’s like the postAuthorIDs hope if they keep the characters talking long enough, something will happen. Valedhelgwath uses real action and I enjoyed it immensely. I’m glad someone is writing about the Dwarves and I would like to see more of Valedhelgwath’s insight into their culture and characters. Good job! What’s next? Regards – Chathol-linn