Snoozlebugs and Jimmergans

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valedhelgwath
Posts: 4233

Snoozlebugs and Jimmergans

Post#1 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

It lends a nice comfortable atmosphere, and the fact that the snoozlebugs are only mentioned in a letter makes them feel comfortably far away. What you have there so far piqued my interest. Keep going, Darous.

Just a point, though. Try to space your paragraphs as it makes reading easier.

Einar
Posts: 135

Snoozlebugs and Jimmergans

Post#2 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Good story :) keep it up.

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Darous
Posts: 887

Snoozlebugs and Jimmergans

Post#3 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

I shal keep continue when i cal
When history looks down its weird vestigial stump of a nose at us, it'll have a lot of very shitty things to say.

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Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Snoozlebugs and Jimmergans

Post#4 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

May we ask the target audience, Darous? It will help us to criticize more helpfully.

It sounds interesting to me. I like the idea of original, invented creatures. I would like to know more about Jack and Bob and how they came to be friends.

"May the Angels Guide"

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Darous
Posts: 887

Snoozlebugs and Jimmergans

Post#5 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Well this particlar target audience at the start was kids but
now i find it progressing to over 20s male+female and people who read fantasy. But it is going through a few changes plus I have few other ideas going at the moment. Venrin and Darous's adventures to save an elvin kingdom. I will post this soon.
When history looks down its weird vestigial stump of a nose at us, it'll have a lot of very shitty things to say.

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