Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

sepdet
Posts: 64

Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

Post#1 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

ai Chathol-linn linn lín gell a bain!
(your song is water-flowing and beautiful!)

Can't resist a pun when you've got a name like that.


I almost hesitate to add any more to this thread, since that was wonderful, but this just bubbled up...




You must never touch a butterfly's wings
Paper-thin tapestry borne on air
For beauty and feathers are fragile things
And it's often noblest to forbear.

A man can tread on a flower's head
A child can tear a picture in two
It's easy enough to make things dead
And takes no skill, no craft, to do.

A sandcastle rises, born upon the strand
A glorious gift for all to enjoy
It's art and love that makes it stand
It's lack of them that prompts to destroy.

The veins on a butterfly's wings are fine
Like the ones on a wrist, which in code reveal
The paths of one's life, or the path to its end
Mar wing or skin, and the scar won't heal.

We can build, we can dream, we can love, we can weave
We can share what we make with this world our home
It's harder by far to hope and believe
But those who can't, in the end, stand alone.

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grondmaster
Posts: 25451

Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

Post#2 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

sepdet: I like everything except the final stanza; is it just me or has the postBody of those four lines outgrown the form? Please feel free to ignore this as I am quite ignorant about such things, but I do enjoy your way with words. :happyelf:

Could your poem be called 'With Only Your Eyes' ?

It is sad that a few are so desperate that they wish to end it all. My roommate at Uni had a female friend that used razor blades in our bathroom and almost succeeded except we broke down the door, he squeezed her wrists, and I drove to the hospital. :shakehead:
'Share and enjoy'

Chathol-linn
Posts: 72

Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

Post#3 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Thanks, Allyssa, for fixing my poem.

Sepdet, I liked your (untitled?) poem about butterfly wings and their fragility. If you were comparing the delicacy of their wings to that of a human's life, - I got the point. Well done. Your poem "A Jewel in My Hand" is even better. The words have a more condensed quality - more punch and therefore are more powerful in conveying your poignant postBody.

Thanks for "ai Chathol-linn linn lín gell a bain!
(your song is water-flowing and beautiful!)!"

Sindarin Elvish must be your native language. Regards - Chathol-linn

LadyBlueAutomnSky
Posts: 59

Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

Post#4 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Joan of Arc

It is quiet
the tension in the air,
the pain I have to bare.
Someone help me please,
the time is running out,
I can't put up with this!

But I know,
no hand will reach towards me
no light to make me see
no word to cheer me up
just someone to burn the flag
and wake me up.

I see the banners high
when we talked I know he lied
but I am unable to walk out
and I cannot scream
and before I open my eyes
I'm dead shure it was just a dream.

I belived him
but no more!
When he oppenes the doorm
I hold my breath
and I see the truth,
there comes death.

I look upon his eyes,
but they're ice cold.
He walkes towards me
I try to be bold
but I wanna run
I wanna hide behind the sun.

To live or to die
is a choice I have to make.
I won't beg!
That's the choice I take.
The only choice my pride gives me
is to lose or to keep my sanity.

I won't subject
and he's to headstrong
but he walkes with me
through that mile.
It was my choice
to burn on the pile.

And when the flames
take me in their embrace
I can feel thy presence
I can see thy face,
I am not sorry
and I don't feel the pain
I'm just one more soul
of the ones you've slain.
... No one was born to be a slave...
... No one was born to be a master...

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Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

Post#5 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Beautiful poem, LadyB. All to easily can we forget that Joan of Arc was just a young peasant girl. Such bravery in the face of death. :D
"May the Angels Guide"

#1ElijahLover
Posts: 25

Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

Post#6 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

here is one of mine:

I stair at the blackness,
nothing ever stairs back,
only small white lights i see,
intenseness it does lack.

here is another:

The world runs ahead,
leaving me behind,
forgeting the girl it once did know,
and now will never find.

here is the last:

away the wind blows,
with my heart,away,
going past the rainbows,
were i cannot stay.

though i long and try to stay,
alas it never comes,
so here i am my lonely self,
singing melencoly hums

by laura soto

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Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

Post#7 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Aki_Hana
posted on 23/7/2003 at 10:10 PM

Who is this mysterious woman?
The one with that golden tan,
and eyes so green
like you've never seen.
Her brown hair shines with such brightness,
her smile takes on the same likeness.
And what is this?
Elf ears you just can't miss!
Who is she,
this mystery?


"May the Angels Guide"

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Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

Post#8 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

#1ElijahLover
posted on 5/7/2003 at 06:22 PM

Amazingly strong,
They mean so little,
Yet way much more,
Than this simple riddle.

I am stunned at first,
But then I find,
How much it matters,
And how much I mind.

It's easy to see,
Just look really close,
My care is very strong,
I do suppose.

by laura soto

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Allyssa
Council Member
posted on 7/7/2003 at 11:50 AM
Hi ElijahLover.

I love the sound and feel of this poem, but I am hopeless at riddles. What is it about?
____________________


#1ElijahLover
posted on 7/7/2003 at 10:54 PM

glad you asked, Allyssa, some of my pals were gossiping about me and my LOTR obsession [can anyone else relate to this?] and so i wrote the poem while blowning off steam. i only posted it cause i wanted others opinions on the quality and sense of it.

[Edited on 7/7/2003 by #1ElijahLover]

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Allyssa
Council Member
posted on 9/7/2003 at 10:21 AM
The need to express yourself is the best reason I can think of to write anything, ElijahLover. I also think that strong feelings bring out our best writing.

I can certainly sympathise with having friends in real life that do not understand a love for the works of Tolkien. I think every member of this site has been there at some stage.


____________________


Aki_Hana

posted on 22/7/2003 at 10:32 PM
I liked your poem, it has a nice feel to it. Isn't it funny were your inspiration can come from?


____________________

"May the Angels Guide"

EvithianEhtmire
Posts: 130

Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

Post#9 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Bliss15/07/03

bliss, is young,
full of life,
imature in mind,
love without strife.

i wish i was there,
only one thing a miss,
i have some strife,
but phisiclly in bliss.

by laura soto

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Allyssa
Posts: 1657

Do you have a poem to share? - Undale (ALL POEMS HERE, PLEASE)

Post#10 » Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Great poems, #1ElijahLover/EvithianEhtmire/laura.

If I might make a suggestion:
Stairs --> stares (to look fixedly)
intenseness --> intensity

I especially like your second poem, The world runs ahead. I think it shows a maturing perspective very beautifully. I like the Bliss poem too. :D
"May the Angels Guide"

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