Greetings Hallavasion. May we call you Hal?

Does your name have a meaning btw?

Orcs and ignorance. True, there was a shortage of Orc academys and universities in Mordor. But I think it goes a bit deeper than that. I feel that Orcs were also brainwashed by their master and whatever religion they followed (cult of Morgoth?).


Brainwashing is pretty much a routine procedure for dictatorships (see: George Orwell 1984 for example) and Sauron was no exception. He made them believe they hated things like music and nature, that emotions like pity were a weakness and that pleasure can be derived only from the suffering of others.

Orcs are a pitiable creatures who hate the elves primarily out of fear. Elves did hunt and kill them after all! Probably for reasons the orcs couldn't fully understand.

Should elves hate or pity orcs? I can never really make up my mind...

So suppose we put one of each on an hostile planet, where in order to survive they would have to work together. Would the result be the same as in 'Enemy Mine' or would they still kill each other off out of habit?

I guess i should have pity on them as well. Trying to sucker Elrond is a despicable thing to do. Maybe I could get legolas to punish you . Oh well. Maybe we should finish of the orcs by killing the source( ie Saruman and Sauron). I mean the Uruk-Hai are starting to annoy me.

Orcs... SPIT!!!... They are toilets.

Pity them? Why take the fun away? The only reason I kill them at two hundred paces is I can't stand the stink!

Uruks? I wouldn't feed them to my chetmigs....

Acctualy Orcs arn't toilets. Its pretty easy to tell the difference. If its standing still, has a lid and ahas a roll of toilet paper next to it then its definetly a toilet, but if its trying to chew your legs off then its definatly an Orc (or a rabid hobbit, take your pick)


And if its poking you with a pointy stick and yelling "Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberrys" then its probaly ME!
I'm sorry, I know their evil, but I'm on the Orcs (and the rabid hobbits) side...but only cause they look like my cat Sooty (Damn he was one ugly moggy!)

Orcs= dum dums

But no one is dissing being a dum dum. I've known some dum dum elves in my time....

Welcome to the forum ArwenEvenstar. Your name sounds familiar; weren't you here before, or am I thinking of someone else?

It takes all types to fill a village. In any group no matter their race or creed you are going to get smart ones and dumb ones, good apples and bad ones; that's the flaw in stereotyping.

Cirdan, I thought your examples were hilarious.

yes, damn those orcs! the fact that they've been tortured (long ago, half of them never actually felt that pain...) to be changed into the actul orcs, there's no reason to take it out on the rest of us. STUPID ORCS!

Whoa! Calm down Alakdhol! Keep in mind that orcs AIN'T REALLY REAAAALLLLL! *gasps for breath* Whew...now if you'll excuse me I've gotta go take my medication

[Edited on 7/08pm02/1984 by Halo_Black]

orcs aint stupid theye r merley missunderstud theye luve to reed and philososize and at tymes will do stuf that hass to do with sceince clearly Hallavasione u are egregoiusly unninformed and as a fynal parthian shot i will aske yu how many orcs have yu knew jus as i thunk none

Even with the parallax of water they got him.

Question: When swimming away from Orcs wearing your working armor, how hard is it to keep off the bottom of the river, lake, or sea. I always figured that anyone who jumped in the water to get away, while wearing armor to be quite stupid. Chain mail and a plate hauberk should counteract any tendency of a body to float, not to mention their sword and helm.

Sure there were. Haven't you heard of the world's most famous precision dance troupe, who recently celebrated their 75th anniversary. I think they are called the "Radio City Orkettes".

Besides, where do the little orcs come from? I'm sure no self-respecting stork would deliver them to the daddy orcs.

Bottom line. It is stupid to try to swim from Orcs if you are in armor and they have bows! Even if you do have The One Ring!

Maybe Sauron gave medals and prices to the lady orcs who gave birth to many children, who would eventually join the army, an idea Hitler copied not so long ago.. And the reason we still haven't heard about lady orcs is that after giving birth to number 3 they all move further south where the climate is better, and healthy baby orcs can be born. There they wobble around constantly pregnant waiting to send their kids of to " orc school". Nearby we also find the missing entwives and movie-Glorfindel, a long with Virumors, Aulës and Ross' ability to discuss something rationally and their ability to see things from another piont of view. *thihi, just had to. Sorry guys!*

I must say that I like Valedhelgwath's representation of orcs in his fan fic: Grud, a Day in the Life of an Orc. Its pretty close to how I imagined orcish life to be.

"Ugly, brutish and short." Which is also an apt description of their life.

You made a typo. It should've been "Ugly, british and short."

I think the fact that Statler is peeping up there, already says enough..

Just this Orcish home is battlefield so that makes them, at least the first of them(serving under Melkor) who survived, fiersome fighters.