Just for fun but I compiled this one afternoon whilst bored, add your own if you want!!
THE GREY HAVEN BISTRO
Dwarf Fruit Salad with extra Pineapple Chunks!
Palantir Prawn Cocktail
Roasted Orc with fresh vegetables from the Shire
Uruk-hai Stir fry with extra noodles
Lothlorien Vegetable Lasagna
Hobbiton Early Bird Special Inc Sausages, mushrooms, egg, and bacon
Roast Leg of Troll with all the trimmings
Basket of Freshly Baked Lembas Bread
Gamgee’s chipped Taters
Evenstar Salad with a light herb oil dressing
Wormtongue’s Iced Treats
Helm’s Deep Cheesecake
Mordor Triple Choc Gateaux
Sauron's Headrush - ice cream from the 4 corners of Middle Earth
500 year old Rivendell House White
Prancing Pony Pints of Men Ale
Green Dragon Home Brew
whole Nazgul roasted. Mini Sheloba-spider legs salad. Moria orc stew. Oliphant steak(special offer,its starting to go bad). Smaug birthday cake(big golden, vanilla/orange flavoured). Thats all for now, but ill come up with something...
Have your Orc served either BBQ, roasted, stewed, mashed (courtesy of the Ents), flambayed ( I know its probably not spelt like that either) fried, microwaved (and I know there's no microwaves in Middle Earth) toasted, boiled, spit roasted all served with vegetables of the season!
Is it to late to order , or has the menu maybe been changed?
Go ahead but deep fried Sauron Fingers are off.
The One Onion Ring for me, pls.
Over at The Khazad-dûmish Inn
we serve Deep Fried Watcher Rings™, Hot and Spicy Balrog Wings™, and Bar-B-Qed Worg Ribs™, as well as Gimli's Finest Ale™.
A 'Worg' is a misspelled 'Warg'. I must remember to get that fixed, the next time the Khazad-dûmish Inn menus need updating.
If I have to pick, Bar-B-Qed Warg sounds better than Balrog wings or any part of a Troll or Orc. Even SHELOB doesn't like Orc, and I'm more of a gourmet than that. But the whole thing just reminds me how much I miss Lady Isa Avanderidhril, sigh.
Even SHELOB doesn't like Orc, and I'm more of a gourmet than that.
Hey, tell that to Ufthák.
[Insert obligatory and ubiquitous Gollum quote I don't have handy here.]
And we musn't forget the various ways to prepare Dwarf: roasted slowly; minced fine and boiled; or squashed into jelly.
*looks at avatar*
Why, Grondy practices cannibalism!
Naw, I just recently read Thorin & Company's encounter with Tom, Bert, and William (Bill) Huggins, where that was temporarily on the menu along with Hobbit Hor'dourves.
Good morning .. Im not that hungry yet, but may I order some Mordor Melon with a Basket of Freshly Baked Lembas Bread on the side ? I didnt see any water on the menu and I think its a bit early for ale or wine so I pass.. THANKS ( Do I pay in Mithril ?)
For drinks we have:
Treebeard's Ent draught
Guildor's fragrant, golden, clear Elf draught
Golden Perch Beer
Barliman's Prancing Pony Beer
Gimli's Finest Ale™
As well as assorted vintages from Dale and Esgaroth; ask to see our wine list.
Miruvor should not be drunk, lest he disappears again!
I'm sorry I can't drink alcohol either. If you had some nice hobbity tea for me I'd have a drink, but this elvish and entish and dwarvish stuff seems quite high to me.
Funny Little Birds can be prepared numerous ways:
But funny little birds, they had no wings!
O what shall we do with the funny little things?
Roast 'em alive, or stew them in a pot;
fry them, boil them and eat them hot? - from The Hobbit, Chapter 6
I'm so hungry right now that I can't wait for my own dinner... So may I please order something from The Grey Haven Bistro ?
For starters I 'll have Mordor Melon
And then I would like : Hobbiton Early bird
, Special Inc Sausages
, egg and bacon
And for side order I would like some of Gamgee's Chipped Taters
.And finally I need something to drink : Prancing Pony Pints of Men Ale