Thread: Battle Mage
The only difficulty I have with it is some of the names of the characters. Good character names are important, and very difficult to create; I know. It is just that 'Holdan' sounds a bit like Holden and 'Josie' sounds a little effeminite for a war captain. You may want to rethink those.
Otherwise, I think it would make for a great opening to a story. I hope there will be more?
Your story had me interested right from the start, and it holds the promise of excitement to come. You maybe need to run through it and check the punctuation a little, but apart from that, it was very enjoyable. I look forward to reading more of it.
Thanks for the comments I appreciate them. I wasn't sure how large a post I could make so this is only a small part of the short story. The full version and others can be found at my site www.rocstavern.com. If you get a chance swing by, I would love to here any thoughts you might have on my work.