*Halo wakes up after being concussed by a pair of particualy viciouse flying boots*r"Oooh! My head. Anyone got any asprin?" *a sympathetic customer hands her a packet of pain killers* "Thanx mate, ah well, could have been worse than boots...I could have been hit over the head by the dreaded killer spindly fish..." *spots the spotight being shone on an elf* "Waaaa! Somebody make her sing the theme song to the spiderman cartoons!!!"
________________________________________________________________________

A tall-ish willowy woman ducks under the front door and pauses to look around. She has long mahogany coloured hair and large blue eyes. She smiles, even though there is no one else in the room, except for a red haired dwarf who is currently enjoying a large mug of something potent.

The dwarf introduces himself and indicates a sign over the bar:

"All newcommers must sing."

"Oh," the woman says, her dulcet voice causing the dwarf to raise a curious eyebrow, "Well, I suppose I could do something..."

The dwarf, Gimli, considers this a little strange, since no one else was there yet, but he knows what short tempers elves (she has an elvish look to her, he decides) have and that they follow peculiar customs. Oh well, if she wants to sing to herself, let her he thinks.

The woman composes herself and begins softly:

"Gil Galad was an Elven-King.
Of him the harpers sadly sing,..."

She sings for a minute or so and when she finishes, Gimli raises his mug (which he had refilled a couple of times while listening) in token of acceptance. He recalled hearing of Gil Galad sometime.

"Well did I do that right?" the woman asks him.

The door opens and in pops a fat little hobbit wearing sideburns and a white sequined jumpsuit. He is carrying a guitar and as he swaggers to the bar you can tell that his hips are quite swivelly.

The innkeeper points to the sign. The stranger nods and says, "That's all right, Baby!" and steps up to the mic.

"Thank you, thank you very much. I'd like to do a little ballad from my last gig at 'The Tower' (slight pause) in Cirith Ungol". He plays a few chords, tweaks a couple pegs on the guitar's neck, and when satisfied says, "It goes like this." and plays an intro before starting the first verses, and then:

"In western lands beneath the Sun
the flowers may rise in Spring,
the trees may bud, the waters run,
the merry finches sing.
Or there maybe 'tis cloudless night
and swaying beeches bear
the Elven-stars as jewels white
amid their branching hair."

He plays a sixteen bar cadenza and continues:

"Though here at journey's end I lie
in darkness buried deep,
beyond all towers strong and high,
beyond all mountains steep,
above all shadows rides the Sun
and Stars for ever dwell:
I will not say the Day is done,
nor bid the Stars farewell."

As he finishes he bows with the words, "Thank you, thank you, thank you very much." and proceeds to draw down the tankard of ale that has just been offered by the Dwarf, who introduces himself and the other patron of the establishment.

"Sam, Sam Gamgee's the name; playing gigs the game. Used to be accompanied by an old hound dog named, Baby, but Since mah Baby's left me, I've had to play alone." (Rimshot followed by groans and grimaces.)

Open goes the door again and in comes a jolly-looking creature, with a brown beard and sparkling blue eyes. His clothes are blue, his boots are yellow and he wears a feather on his head. (now who might this be? ) He greets the innkeeper, sees the sign and nods. Then he bursts into a song of nonsense:

"Hey dol! merry dol!ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!"

Still singing, he grabs the hands of Allyssa, drags her along into a dance.

"Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling!
Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling.
Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight,
Waiting on the doorstep for the cold starlight,
There my pretty lady is, River-Woman's daughter,
Slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water.
Old Tom Bombadil water-lilies bringing
Comes hopping home again. Can you hear him singing?
Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! and merry-o,
Goldberry, Goldberry, merry yellow berry-o!
Poor old Willow-man, you tuck your roots away!
Tom's in a hurry now. Evening will follow day.
Tom's going home again water lilies bringing.
Hey! Come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?"

As the song ends, he puts Allyssa back on her chair again and walks to the bar. "So there's your song then eh!" he says to the innkeeper, who nods. "As you might have heard, I must be off again soon, Goldberry is waiting, but on me way home, I spotted this inn here, which I had never seen before in these 3000 years I've lived here. So I thought I might just as well drop in and have a mug of ale to keep me on the way eh!"
The innkeeper (by all looks a dwarf) hands him a cold mug of ale, which he finishes in one go. With a wave of his hand and the following words, he leaves again: "Oh well, must be off. Got some hobbits to free again, I feel. Silly little things have walked into the hands of the willow-man again. Tsss! Cheers all!"

[Edited on 5/7/2002 by TomBombadillo]

Allyssa grins good-naturedly

*Greatful to finaly have a drink himself, Gimli sat down on his stool behind the bar and polished of a fine pint of ale! *


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh This is the life. Good friends, good music, and good brew. What more could you ask for...

Slides a Guiness down.....


bottoms up i believe the saying is...

na.. this place and all its outlets are hamster powered! I have five of them down in the basement on wheels... They like it.. they get all the beer they can drink, plus room and board...... and food of course... they are especially fond of fridays... thats orc toe with ranch dipping sauce day.

*Gimli pulls out the largest bowl or jellied eels you ever seen and sets them on the bar..*

have at it! oh.. look, that ones still moving.... mmmmmmmmmmm

"Why thank you, and while we have to sing for our first drink, that doesn't prohibit us from making further fools of ourselves by singing additional ones." After which he staggers to the mic and sings the following heart-wrencher: LIES
Words and music by the afore mentioned Stan Rogers.

(And if that don't make you maudlin then you must be an elf.)

Suddenly a rather psychotic looking Orc/Elf/Balrog thing appears in a cloud of sparkly red smoke "Did I hear someone mention Knees up Mother Brown?!"

*Just then the door opens once again. In darts a small ghoulish looking creature.*

"Oooo! Oooo! Thisssss is my sssong!"

*Giving occasional nervous glances at the Orfrog thing he raises is whiny croaking voice to join the already singing crowd and dances around the inn*

There came a girl from France
Who didn't know how to dance
The only thing that she could do
Wasss kneeses up Mother Brown.


Oh, kneeses up Mother Brown!
Kneeses up Mother Brown!
Kneeses up, kneeses up, never let the breezzzzes up,
Kneeses up Mother Brown!


Hopping on one footses!
Hopping on one footses!
Hopping, hopping, never ssstopping
Hopping on one footses!

Oh, kneeses up Mother Brown! Hey!
Kneeses up Mother Brown! Hey!
Kneeses up, kneeses up, never let the breezzzzes up,
Kneeses up Mother Brown!

Hopping on the other
Hopping on the other
Hopping, hopping, never ssstopping
Hopping on the other.


Whirling round and round
Whirling round and round
Whirling, whirling, never twirling
Whirling round and round.

There came a girl from France
Who didn't know how to dance
The only thing that she could do
Wasss kneeses up Mother Brown. HEY!

*With this last 'HEY', completely caught up in the mood of the song, he leaps into the arms of the Orfrog thing .*

"Hello Mister Thing" he croaks sheepishly, " My names Sssmeagol, but you can call me Gollum."

Halo drains her tankard "Yeah. Do it again an maybe I'll get un an dance too!" Glances at the person next to her (who looks suspiciously like a hobbit in a white sequined jumpsuit) and finishes his ale while he's lookin' in the other direction. Standing up to dance she steps on something, she looks down to see a jellied eel staring at her in a very accusing manner "Do you mind? I'm trying to make a desperate bid for freedom here!!"
It takes a couple of minutes for her to realise that the eel is, in-fact, talking to her. Grabbing the eel she runs into the toilets and flushes it down the bog "Run free little eel! Run free!"
Halo walks back into the pub to she everyone staring at her "What?!"


[Edited on 31/7/2002 by Halo_Black]

Halo looks at Prog "Oh, sorry. Din't mean to drop you..." she freezes for a moment as her tiny little brain starts to work. "Wait a chuffing minute! I DROPPED YOU?! WHEN THE HELL DID I PICK YOU UP?!?" The pub owner soon finds himself face to face with a panicing half orc type thingie.
"How many drinks have I had Gimli!? HOW MANY?"

Halo sticks her tongue out at the hobbit "Not true. T'was ale, lookie!" she tips her tankard up so everyone can see the bottom. There, printed in big capital letters are the words "PROPERTY OF THE PRANCING PONY. IF FOUND PLEASE RETERN."
Halo grins at everyone "I'm on a pub crawl, just passed me maths exam"

[Edited on 2/8/2002 by Halo_Black]

Ewwww! I got glomped by Smeagol!
Anyways...what to sing...can't deside. Anyone got any good sugestions? Better help me deside quick, or I'll sing the theme tune for Scooby Doo! Bwahahaha!

Scoooooby-Doooby-Doooooooooooo!!!!!!

Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you, we got some work to do now....

Waiting out side k sat in her sadle as the rain fell down around her. Dismounting her horse sil she approuch the inn. It's windows glowing brightly in the darkness.

A tall half elven girl walked into the inn. Her dark purple cloak travel stained an worn. A dark blue velvet goen showed from under the folds from the cloak. Casting shadows over her face and keeping her body completly envoloped in darkness the stranger walked in and took a seat at a table in the corner. Close anuff to over hear the sing and chating goining on in the corner. She whent unnoticed in the corner nothing more but i mere shadow and thats the way she liked it.

I dont sing thank you. I'd like to keep it that way though. Leaving the table k walked over to the bar. And sat down. This was much more comfortable.

I'd like a mai tale please. She spoke softly her eyes calm and cool.
You'll have to sing for it. The inn keeper spoke with a smile.
Her eyes turning cold as ice and her voice as cold and harsh as a winters day.
I sing for no one and will never sing for any one or any thing.
Starteled by the way she turned the innkeeper quickly got her her mai tale. Returning to her table she sat down a smile on her face.

Well i didn't have to sing at all now did I. She gave a small laugh.
Now she looked as soft and as gental as a kitten.

*rapturous applause from the deaf Squirrel at the piano*

Weeeeeeeeelllllllll! We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little loony...

Tom (rather drunk now) decides to get on to his knees and bring a serenade (or whatever) to the lovely elf-maiden at his table. Unfortunately, the lady Goldberry, on her way to see her granny in the woods, passes by the inn and hears, well, hmmm, "singing". So she storms into the inn, smashes him on the head with her handbag, grabs his coat and pulls him outside rather violently. Exit Tom (just for now though ).

If I must i must. Rules are rules but you'll get it my dear friend. Trust me.
She walks ove to the paino. Sits down and beings to play may it be, and begins to sing in her sweet voice.

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utulie ([Quenya:] Darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantie ([Quenya:] Darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadow's call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utulie ([Quenya:] Darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way

Mornie alantie ([Quenya:] Darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now


Finishing her song k turned from the paino and sat down in a chair with the others. Smiling.

The sideburn wearing Hobbit, was speechless. He slowly got up from his table, walked towards the Lady Ranger, stopped five paces short of her sword reach, and bowed deeply from the waist, waited a moment, and returned to his table.

*Claps and cheers for the lady elf* Eee! What a pretty song! *Suddenly gets destracted when a rather cross female Uruk (also known as Yvonne, mother of Halo) walks throught the door and right up to her*
Halo: Eep! Hiya Mum...what in the name of Bill the Pony are you doin' here?
Halo's Mum: Grrrrr! Argh!
Halo: ...eh?
Halo's Mum: Argh! Argle-bargle!!
Halo: *thinks to herself "I really wish mum would learn proper orcish, this is pretty darn embarising"*
Halo's Mum: Blerg?
Somewhere in the backround somebody laughs to hard and falls of their bar stool, breaking their arm and concussing themself*
Halo: Wha?! What do you mean we're going on holiday tomorow? Leaving at two in the morning? ARE YOU CRAZY!?!
Halo's Mum: Blargle! Grrrr!
Halo: Packed my clothes...eep! Knew there wus something I forgot! *Runs out the door towing her mother behind her, outside a rather tall, perky looking male elf (Known as Bill, father of that pain in the @$$ Halo) can be seen sitting in a cart. Halo shouts over her sholder as she runs...* See ya in a weeks time gang, I'm of on my holidays!

After Halo and her rather *ahem* unusual family have left, the whole bar is still sitting in stunned silence. Somewhere, far far in the distance, Halo's voise can still be heard "Wooo! Cornwall hear I come! Hide all yer pasty's cornish people!!!"
A few people start to look a little worried and one person at the back of the bar is in hysterics due to a rather silly phobia of orcs. The silence continues...

LAWKS! Not Enya! *screams and runs out covering ears as well as possible*

But if it's spidey you want....

"Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can,
Spins a web, anytime,
Catches Thieves, just like Flies,
Watch out, here comes a Spiderman...."