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The ructions are over (at least I believe they are????) Everyone rejoice, each and every one!
The best news is that Mr Tyrant has found out that the Valar themselves are blocking PJ's evil plans for The Hobbit. Apparently, the Valar themselves are going to ensure we get a True adaptation of The Hobbit - and in just ONE movie. Brilliant, what!
[i:3l3eptx7]Everyone is singing (the noise is substantial),
The Good News being, there'll now be [b:3l3eptx7]no[/b:3l3eptx7] Council,
Bilbo's adventures will be true to the text,
All Liberal Plans have by the Valar been hexed!
Sing ye all faithful! Sing ye all heartful!
Sing ye the feckless! Sing ye the artless!
All shall be joined in a joyous experience,
Oh forget your chagrin. Forget all your fearance!
All songs will be sung! Elves will be all Happy,
The Dwarves will all be crabbity chappies,
Stone Giants and Eagles, Animals serving honey,
(Some of the movie will actually be quite funny!)
Bilbo will be fifty, and Gandalf quite cross,
And Thorin won't be a Trade Union Boss,
Saruman won't be in it (that fascist old Bird),
Nor Galadriel neither - or that's what I heard.
Legolas may have a cameo (Mr Tyrant didn't say),
But I assume it's still possible (and might be okay),
But the best thing to know, and this I applaud,
It'll be a True Movie, and no one will be bored![/i:3l3eptx7]
I channelled that fom some nether place - Eru Himself? Probably.
Ahhhhh! It's good to be back to normality!!
The day will come and the liberals will get their comeuppance. After all the Valar have spoken (and it wasn't just some half baked crazed experience either, nope, saw the whole thing, a grey rain-curtain -well I was in Scotsdale- turning to silver glass and rolling back, then a white shore and a far green country beneath a swift sunrise- and they ain't talking metaphors here its like someone kicks the damn sun over the horizon the speed it comes up at!). So I will have no truck with doubters.
Aaah! I'm so looking forward to two happy events: (1) A Great Adaptation true to Text, and: (2) Liberals, Puerilists and (weak kneed) Purists burning in the Middle-earth version of HELL!
[i:25tkjhzs]Oh how they will wail, when burnt top to tail!
Wail all ye backsliders, as the fiery crack grows wider!
The Great Middle-earth Satan, will give you some hatin',
As I, Great Tolkien, look down, from Heaven a'frown,
Crying: why did you forsake me? Why did you make me,
Send Powers to burn you, when The Wise could not turn you?[/i:25tkjhzs]
From "Tolkien: Songs about the Pesudo Fans." (History of Middle-earth Volume Twenty Seven).
Btw Mr Tyrant: I suspect [b:25tkjhzs]YOU[/b:25tkjhzs] and [b:25tkjhzs]I[/b:25tkjhzs], yes, [b:25tkjhzs]WE[/b:25tkjhzs], know who T was prophesizing about when he mentions [b:25tkjhzs]THE WISE[/b:25tkjhzs], now, don't [b:25tkjhzs]YOU[/b:25tkjhzs] and [b:25tkjhzs]I [/b:25tkjhzs](that's [b:25tkjhzs]WE[/b:25tkjhzs] ).
and what we're truly thinking
is all the truest thinking that we know
what Eldo's thinking is clearly what he's thinking
and as for Tinuviel - who would ever know
(compensated by a very perfect nose)
what GB's really thinking surely bears no thinking
it's hardly even thinking
that's how Liberal thinking always goes...! [/i:bt0md9om]
Lloyd George, Prime Minister (before that he was Welsh).
Are thinking what they're thinking,
But how many thinkers of a thought can you have,
Without thinking that a thought has stretched too far?[/i:3gr5nl2i]
Lloyd George (after he was Welsh again)
[i:2pxkwd9y]"Jesus saith: Their ears don't listen,
Their eyes don't glisten with truth.
Jesus saith: They cannot comprehend
That when you bend you change everything.
Jesus saith: When they change one mote,
(Sit back and gloat) they are not True Men,
Jesus saith: Women who follow false Men,
Become a coven. Verily! They ply the road of folly."[/i:2pxkwd9y]
[i:2pxkwd9y]"Jesus saith: Those who have eyes don't see,
Those who have ears don't listen
Those who think they love don't know what love is,
Those who stuff up Tolkien don't know what they're missin'."[/i:2pxkwd9y]
I must say, the channelling this morning is like lightning from a blue sky - oh the clarity - of the plain truthiness....!
Both in Scotland and Middle-earth, yes, indeed!
Does this imply we're really Hobbits,
Yes, we're Kilted haggis-lovin' hoggits!
Non-human Rangar Scothobbits are we![/i:2fzifi77]
Robbie Burns: "Poems by a Secret Non-human Scothobbit."
Now look at these postings on those Woses folk on one of the Vulgar Threads! Aren't those Pugel folk (or whatever they were) not reminiscent of Hobbits - Primordial Hobbits and therefore clearly not Men at all! Not MEN, no.
But what were they? It all becomes clear!
My theory (if it is not already patently obvious) is that the Pugel men were the selfsame Scothobbits that Robbie Burns mentioned in the poem you channelled! (I assume it was a poem you channelled badly btw - your methods are truly suspect, dear bro!) ..... Anyhow, I think we've solved an ancient mystery. And isn't it great to know that the primitive ancestors of the Hobbits are still living on in Scotland (I always had a feeling the Scots weren't quite human, you know - in a good way [i:3bbx9y51]not [/i:3bbx9y51]human, that is ).
This why we have so many Scots on this Forum - it's like a Secret Meeting place for Primordial Hobbits (Scothobbits, that is!)
Well down Uncle Wise and Uncle Odo! We Modern Hobbits have now rediscovered our Extremely Primitive Ancestors!
[size=150:eyw730fv][i:eyw730fv][b:eyw730fv]Uncle Wizeeeee[/b:eyw730fv][/i:eyw730fv][/size:eyw730fv]!!!! ...
[size=150:eyw730fv][b:eyw730fv]Wizey! Wizey! Wizey! Oi! Oi! Oi! [/b:eyw730fv][/size:eyw730fv]
How on earth did you find your way here...
Did anyone see you come here.... I was prepared to tolerate you at that ghastly Libertine Cafe....but Here.....!
Oh my gnarled Grandad's Groinstrap....!
This is disastrous...! My poor reputation.... An utter disaster....
Quick! I'll let you out the back door....
Oh there you are....
Hey! Is that Biffo you're wrestling....? How on earth did he find his way here...? And what are you tryingh to do with him.... Swet Eru! You're trying to push him out the back door! Ha! That's ripe! It's all right to send for him.. but not if it means he vulgarises your precious thread with his presence, now is it!
[size=150:2uzvba2a][b:2uzvba2a]Move, Biffo! [/b:2uzvba2a][/size:2uzvba2a]
Well, don't just stand there, Odo!
Bye, Uncle Odo........................ I'll see you later.......................!
I have managed to rid this Thread of Biffo, having channelled some very useful emergency Martial Arts skills. So fear not, this Thread has been returned to it's fully Respectable status again! As to Biffo - let's face it, some families do have their Black Sheep (in my case, we have a White Brute! ) He will be half way back to the Kimberley's by now. I sent him back by Eagle. That seemed the best thing to do in the circumstances. I have also temporarily banned Odo from the thread too - as his raucous laughter (at my expense) was anything but respectable! Odo can be such a Moron at times - and I'm not the first to say it!
Anyway, now things are back in order, please forward your questions or requests for channeling to me at:
[size=150:2wzc1c9a][b:2wzc1c9a]ODO[/b:2wzc1c9a][/size:2wzc1c9a] (that is: [i:2wzc1c9a]The Respectable Thread[/i:2wzc1c9a]).
(((((Now, what to do about GB? Biffo was definitely NOT the right option...)))))
Just snuck in when You Know Who has his back turned, GB. Hey! [i:1k0qcw9w]Acceptance[/i:1k0qcw9w] and [i:1k0qcw9w]Tolerance[/i:1k0qcw9w] are not words you'll find on this Silly Thread! ... and no matter what Wisey thinks, it [i:1k0qcw9w]was [/i:1k0qcw9w]funny Biffo spinning Wisey around above his head! You should have seen it... oops! here he comes... gotta go... bloomin' Martial Arts....!...
Perhaps Wise Odo could channel me something on the subject for my enlightenment.
"twas her sad mistake,"
said Mister Pratt.
"Oh yes Slinky Jane would still live,
She was a mild measure too much acceptant!
She should never have let me in,"
said Mr Pratt![/i:14obyn7g]
I always wondered what George Harrison meant here... It's something I constantly channel in my sleep... Disturbing, what! But a cautionary tale nonetheless!
The days seem dark in Forumland,
Dark Forces wishy-washy rise,
Marshmallow Men oh so sticky,
But can't stick together, nowise.
Ah! Shall we fight them with a sword,
A club, a pike, a longish halberd?
Shall we gird our loins and bear a growl :-
Well, a growl will do, that's what I heard.
For they're flipsy-flopsy Marshmallow Men,
Thin of spirit but still quite thick,
Invite them to our campfires, lads,
Then we'll roast ém on a stick.
That's all the good we'll get from them,
They're hardly Men, these Men so mellow,
On no they're not tough at all,
These wishy-washy namby fellows![/i:2yjkq6wa]
Sorry for stating the obvious, Mr Tyrant, but it was Confucius who wrote it, I merely channel.
Of Tolkien Liberals who smile and cruise,
Hear their talk of loving Old Man Willow,
And barrow-wights and Tom Bombadillo,
But the Wise see through their charming smiles,
Into those traitorous hearts, brimful of wiles,
They'll make a plea in Two Thousand Ten,
That's my prediction! It's what I contend!
I only hope my loyal fans, Woman and Man,
Will stand against their devilish cunning plans,
Or they'll make of Tom a powerful Lord,
And Goldberry a gorgeous grinning broad,
And Old Man Willow snarl with Yanky accent,
And the barrow-wights will be CG rent,
With witchy fire and cackles right through it:
I pray the Righteous won't let them do it! [/i:19ppkho8]
Tolkien: "The Hidden Tales. History of Middle-earth by Christopher Tolkien. Volume Thirty Seven (but blocked by powerful figures from publication).
See how beneficial my channeling is, GB. I can penetrate to the heart of Tolkien's suppressed writings! You cannot pass, Flame of Udun!
[i:1ae3taj6]Oh garlands for the stubborn,
Those who stand and fight the fight,
In snow in fire in continents,
They fight on both day and night!
Oh laud the brave and neat dressed,
Those dapper handsome heroes,
As they stand firm in the extreme,
Against all those Liberal Weirdos.
Do they turn and run, oh no,
Shoulder heaved against the wheel,
No matter what the Enemy say or do,
They'll not flip nor flop nor yield!
The startlingly handsome must fight on!
These champions of all that's good,
Charge into the Heart of Darkness,
Chop out their hearts of wood![/i:1ae3taj6]
Euripides (and he would know!)
And of course Wise Odo being wise is always in the right, especially when it seems he's not.
[i:331o7duy]They say that the Right are always right,
It makes perfect sense I think,
But some there are who doubt the Right,
Yes, folk with souls that stink!
With souls that stink, I say, indeed!
This gorgeous man on strapping steed!
This humble King! This humble guy!
But an angry King, and I'll tell you why:
It's the wishywashy wibblylibbies,
It's the nambypamby tellytibbies,
Oh how they rant both night and day
(Their inner beings are so depraved),
They say the Classics can be changed!
What! Shall our best be rearranged?
No wonder I call them treasonous!
Seek to crush their unreasonableness!
They should have their heads lopped off,
But sadly the Libs have made us soft,
I pine for those days when evil Liberal types,
Would get the chop both day and night! [/i:331o7duy] .....................[Will someone pleeeeeaaaase come up with a [i:331o7duy]sigh [/i:331o7duy]smilee! )
La More de Arturus (lost poem of the Venerable Bede)
What a to do, Tis sad indeed when a great channeler falls in a rut.
(I'm sure you'll snap out of it eventually and discover more imaginative topics to riff on O' Oracle)
[i:pbaanenh]Oh here he comes, the Grey One,
See his shimmer through the shim,
How long his beard, that speaks of years,
Long spent in the ways of learning.
He reads books all day, that's what they say,
His days are never wisp and whim,
Some ask if it's just the One Book,
To which he turns a smarmy grin.
He tries to do to others,
Only what they do to him,
But hector, harass, pontificate?
Would not that be close to sin?
Gently he sets out what to do,
Is this Teacher perhaps a Christian?
But the man he doth deny it - or not?
We have yet to get the truth from him!
He's a mysterious bossy figure, no doubt,
For a strong Spirit in his eyes doth glim,
Yes, a Mysterious Lordly figure,
Who they call the Grey Pilgrim![/i:pbaanenh]
From: T.S. Elliott: "Christian Tracts."
Interested in learning lots of brand new things. Hope we all will discuss our
knowledge and speak about several concepts on this community.
You will meet many jolly folk on this Forum (not including pettytyrant who is a might crabbity) and discover a wide variety of viewpoints. Feel free to browse and meet-and-greet! Actually, you've entered the Thread of the Wisest and Nicest One of them All - that's ME, Wise Odo himself! How fortunate for you!
It's probably fair to say that it might take awhile for you to get used to the arrangements here! ) As a partial explanation of what I'm saying is to tell you that you have landed here on what I call a "Respectable" Thread. Not many of them, sad to say! But there are lots of "Vulgar" Threads as well, if that's your fancy. By all means go and explore them at your leisure. I do warn you though, they are [i:1428sbhd]messy[/i:1428sbhd] places! Things are just not as strict there as they might be. Mr Gandalfs Beard, our Moderator, is a good fellow but he just doesn't crack the whip enough I fear!!