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I'm awake no more

Author - Oerath Windsoul

Written on - Thursday 26th March 2015 (04:29pm)

Sometimes, there's just no room for beauty. That's just how it is. And in a way, this is not even so dark, but it's quite dark in such a sense that it will surely make you think. Or that's at least what I was aiming for when I wrote this.

This one tells about life.

'And right now..'

I'm awake no more

A million raindrops interrupt the silence
The perfect moment shatters to pieces, as I lay on the floor
My eyes won't shut.. My vision has been overrun by darkness
Why can't I see beyond the mountains?
There's nothing in the horizon..
Why can't I follow the sun up high?
For she would definitely show me to that shining door..
But I'm not sure would she teach me how to fly..

The burning pyres inside this fragile shell
Is there no way? No.. There must be a way to extinguish those infernal flames
Outside, there are so many footsteps.. They all lead to an old well
But I don't recall walking out there.. My body, my mind.. It all feels so heavy..
I believe I'm awake, yet I somehow sleep.. I can see nothing, but blurry landscapes..
Fish people swimming in the dark ocean
White and hollow trees arising from the deeps..
And those are just a few images of these empty dreams..
Where nothing feels solid anymore..
None calls me by my real name..
But it's not even a shame..
Down this quiet shore I go..
My conscious tells me that soon I'll drown
If I won't stop, but what can I really do..
In this twilight, so far away from all life..
Is curiosity always rewarded with misery?
For I think I've wandered so far that I can no longer..
Reach out for reality..

Moonless and missing all stars
That's what my sky looks like, from near and from far
Illusions drive the mind forward and power the thoughts
Until I finally see myself flying out of sight
That's just how it goes
Down, down towards the darkness
Fall and don't you dare to cry
I know you've no room for sadness

It's not pain, it's not something that can even hurt
One heart doesn't weigh much on the scales that burn
Your only soul is just merchandise to those, who sell afterlives
They may not have seen beyond this world
But they've already fallen down from the sky

But the wheel may still turn, if you strike it hard with a hammer
Believe in what you're doing.. Grasp that distant light of your dreams
And hold it inside the palm of your hand and make that important decision or be damned
To forever walk upon the ash-covered plains with no view to the sea
Nothing to see, but a broken sky..
Nothing to feel, but a freezing breeze..
And just like that..
All bridges that you ever managed to create during your life will cease to be..
When you collapse for one last time, and feel the light leave your eyes..
Then you'll see that the sun doesn't really shine..
And that nothing feels much..
Such is the curse of seeking for experiences within an unending dusk..
But once you die, then maybe you'll quietly realize..
That the only images you now see..
Are from the shades of your past..
And at that moment, only a single thought comes into your blank white mind...
'Am I really looking at what used to be my life?'

Awake from the dream
Or do you even want to exist in this reality?
Put an end to your journey across the sea..
Without a horizon!
How much longer can you even carry on?

Awake from the dream..
Can't you hear me calling out for you?
Oh well, just ignore me.. I'm just that other self, the one who you're about to kill..
If all you can do is dream..
Then you might as well pull the death switch
And let us both die for things that shouldn't even be..

And so we gather around a lifeless body to say goodbye to a million raindrops..
For the pale sky gifts us with just one more..
The days of joy and laughter lie far behind
The sun is clashing down into the ocean
I guess you could say that my work here is done..
Come, a colorless morning.. We will be gone..
We will be gone.. I will be gone..
Were anyone of us ever too young?
I guess it doesn't matter now at all..
I just hope I was always right about you..
'Cause I've already departed..
Yes, it's true..
I'm awake no more..

'My eyes won't shut, my vision has been overrun by darkness.. forevermore..'