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Thread: Crazy Review, Please Read

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That was the most ludicrus review I have ever read. So ludicrus in fact, that I cannot help but wonder if it is some kind of April Fool's joke? There is no way I am sending that guy my email address.
I love it!!!! It's the best thing I've read for years. A big thumbs up from me. Big Smile Smilie
Welcome to the forum, Drax911.

Look at the source:; that it surely is/and that it surely isn't. The whole thing is a major spoof.

Nobody could get that many things wrong without trying; and trying they certainly did. It is written as though the postAuthorID had neither read the book nor seen the movie, having gotten all their data from other reviews. Yet the errors are so numerous and obvious that they had to be planned.

I say again, it is a major spoof, a satire on other reviews whose postAuthorIDs we often surmise have also never read the whole book nor maybe even seen the film. Big Smile Smilie
This better be a spoof, otherwise these weirdos are nuts! It's the best joke I've read in years though! Big Smile Smilie
I just didn't even finish reading. Did they even see the movie? cause they obviously didn't read the book. What is wrong with them? The white wizard Gandalf? Twisted hobbit? Bilbo's son Frodo? who gave these guys permission to write this? The problem is not what they say, the problem is that there are people allowing "critics" like these ones write whatever they want without even understanding the movie they are supposed to review
I say again:
Look at the source:; that it surely is/and that it surely isn't. The whole thing is a major spoof.

It is satire on all the other reviews; it is meant to be 'so bad it is good' and it succeeds. Ha Ha Ha Smilie
This did not appear to be a "satire" It actually appears to be more of a gen-x written review where the language is casual, etc. It appeared to be an honoest review, though a terrible one that begins with incorrect facts - uh, the books were NOT written at the turn of the century, try middle of the last centur. And his facts are absolutely incorrect, both from the standpoint of what happens in the movie and what happens in the books. Uh, he says that Gandolf comes to live again in the book - not yet, you idiot!

They guy's just a moron who writes reviews from this website, whatever it is.

His only point worth exploring is that the movie just ends. Yes, it does, and the producers should have made that absolutely clear to the audience, even with a trailer at the end or some other device to let them know there's a lot more excitement to come.

This guy's a jerk and dare I say it, an a___ hole, mostly b/c he showed his complete ignorance.
Here's the email I wrote the guy. I'll let y'all know if he responds:

I got the link for your LOTR review from a LOTR forum I visit occasionally. Man, was that review "something awful" or what?! You got a whole bunch of facts wrong, and I'm not even as dedicated as ’ of the folks in that forum - meaning i can't remember the silly names of places and characters in the books, but I remember the movie quite well. Plus the facts you got wrong were relevant to the criticism you had for the movie as it told the story. Let me outline them for you:

1. The books were written in the middle of the 20th century, not the turn of the century.

2. Frodo is Bilbo's nephew, but in truth, that's only clear in the book and is not really relevant to the whole story.

3. They are not "Bog Wraiths" they are "Ring Wraiths" the Nazgul.

4. The Ring Wraiths do NOT serve Saurumon, but Sauron, the evil power behind the Ring and who lives in Mordor. He's the big bad guy from the war scene at the very beginning of the movie, remember?

5. Saurumon is not a "black" wizard, he's a white wizard, which indicates the level of wizardry he has achieved. He's a good/neutral guy in the book until he succumbs to the powerlust for the Ring. The colors are relevant b/c in the second installment, Gandalf returns as a white wizard - meaning he's stronger.

6. Frodo was not poisoned by the Orcs but by the Nazgul or Ring Wraiths - they had a fight, if you recall, where Frodo was stabbed in the shoulder with one of their knives after he put on the Ring. (this was in both the movie and the book)

7. Matrix guy - Hugo Weaving. Gotta admit, it was distracting to me, too. I fully expected him to say something like, "Frodo is healing well, Mr. Anderson."

8. I think it was clear that the Ring was forged at Mount Doom and could only be destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom in the movie.

9. Actually, Gandalf confronted Saurumon before going to Rivendale. And it wasn't a big moth, but a big bird that rescued him. If you recall, there's a little moth that Gandalf captures, whispers to, then releases. Off screen the moth gets the word back to whomever, and whomever sends the bird along for Gandalf. Gandalf was expecting the bird to show up, and while Saurumon is talking to him, he sees the bird coming (the audience does, too, but you have to be paying attention). Then he leaps onto the bird's back to escape.

10. Nitpicky point here - the orcs are not defeated in the Dwarf city, they run away b/c of the Balrog.

11. In the book, it also just ends. Actually it ends with Frodo sneaking away, and none of the fellowship know, including Strider. Boromir's death scene is in the beginning of the second book, and you are mixing the two together b/c Gandalf does NOT return until a good ways into the second book. The movie went into the first chapter of Two Towers with Boromir's demise, but it was a good dove tail.

While I totally appreciate that your website does real reviews for real people (that's cool), you lose credibility when your facts are not straight. And the facts I corrected above are not little itty bitty facts - they are pretty major to the story.

If I read your review, then went to see the movie, I'd be pretty annoyed at your mistakes. Further, if I didn't see the movie b/c of your review, I'd be totally disappointed after finally seeing in on my little TV and missing the chance to see it in the theater.

Good luck with your reviews.

Carolyn H.

Feel free to comment on my comments if you think I got something wrong.
Agree with Plastic, thought it was hilarious.

Relax Drax911, negra, Yummy, take it as an attempt at humour. I believe the American Constitution (Grondy can help me out here?) does ensure the right of a person to appear as foolish as he/she wishes. Smile Smilie
Dang, whaddya know! It worked.

Me off to the taverns to drool over Plastic's photo.
Welcome to the forum Danger Mouse, or should I say: Welcome back Ungoliant. Glad the system finally let you post again and hope Taz can credit you with your 745 posts under which ever name you choose to go with. Smile Smilie

And yes, The First Amendment of our Constitution, which includes the freedom of speech, is what guarantees, to even idiots and politicians the right to make fools of themselves, as long as they don't yell "fire" in a crowded theatre, say "Hi! Jack" on a airplane, or say/write something maliciously libelous about another person. Cool Smilie
It also gives me the right to be argumentative, and I'm gonna just be that way.

I am relaxed about this guy, I think he's a moron, but I'm not losing sleep over it. However, I do not think this was supposed to be a satirical review. I think it was a real review, written with Gen-x or Gen-2k attitude (which is usually a gross display of bored ignorance).

So there!

And Dude if this guy was trying to be satirical, he might want to go back to basics b/c he's not very good.

[Edited on 6/5/2002 by Yummy]
I think it was a real review, written with Gen-x or Gen-2k attitude (which is usually a gross display of bored ignorance).

Ah, hey, ouch. Pick on the semi-satirical moron all you want, but kindly lay-off the generational generalizations. That's neither accurate nor fair, nor even particularly up-to-date (the apathetic, ignorant Gen-Xer strikes me as a very circa-1995 stereotype.) Most of us don't actually resemble those drips in Reality Bites or other such shallow representations. That'd be like saying all Baby Boomers act like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, and that's just silly.
Hey! I wasn't trying to be that obnoxious, sorry if I succeed despite my lack of effort.

I'm a gen-xer by some calculations, though I tend not to identify with all the whining, and yes, they are still whining, regardless of the progress since 1995.

But, peace to all Gen-Xers everywhere. I don't mean to cause a fuss.
Oh, that's okay. Generalizations in general (ha) bug me- I've spent too many years in academia, where generalizing in the wrong paper means much snarky mockery from one's peers, and trust me, academics are mean folks. I'm a Gen-Xer by some accountings and I'm not by others, which is part of the problem- it's a poorly defined generation (not unusual during the low point in a population cycle). But the whining stereotype... yeah, some of them (us?) are whiny. But that's true of every generation (lord knows the Baby Boomers whine), particularly in the eyes of their elders. Much of this bad reputation, I think, has come from the fact that we are not yet in charge of the media. But someday we will be, and it'll be our turn to gripe about how apathetic and whiny kids are today, those smartaleck whippersnappers.
Hey! Lay off us gen-Xers, we can't be bothered to argue back, okay? Animated Wink Smilie
Thanks for the welcome Grondy Smile Smilie, but I think I want to fiddle about with my pc before Taz transfers my posts to this account. It still acts up - sometimes it still doesn't work & I can only access the forum through IExplorer. Took me a few tries tonight before I finally got through, couldn't even view the board index at first. I think I'll stick to Ungoliant though.

Hey, lay off morons. Smile Smilie I love 'em. I find stupid jokes..well, funny. Like the South Park, Wayne's World, SW spoof 'Thumb Wars', Spaceballs & such, they're incredibly moronic & cracks me up each time. This reveiwer is something like that (ok, not that good, but at least he tried).
Again, I'll keep pounding on this point - I do not believe this review was an attempt at great humor. Sure there are humorous elements to it, but it's intent was to be a review that "real people" could read. That was the website motto - Real Reviews for Real People. So, it was a real review. I think the reviewer, as silly as he may have wanted to be, showed himself to be ignorant, especially as he claims to have read the books. I'm not sure that ignorance is funny, even for Gen-Xers.

And, look, I'm not that serious a person either. I love Southpark, Wayne's World, and the rest of the funny stuff out there now, but this review wasn't funny, wasn't intented to be funny, and was a gross display of sheer ignorance.

So there.
Well, to each his/her own....fair enough. Smile Smilie

Btw did you get a reply from the bloke, Yummy?
I don't suppose so. But I think Grondy's right again here: it's just major spoof designed to get reactions from freaks like us. Animated Wink Smilie And it sure worked! Very Big Grin Smilie
I find ignorance really funny, honest, very much so, must be a gen-X thing then...
I find ignorance really funny, honest, very much so, must be a gen-X thing then...

Me too. I find (harmless) ignorance hilarious. And I'm an old fart, so it can't be a Gen-X thing either.
No, never got a response from the guy. Guess he couldn't be bothered. Still I think my email was probably annoying, as I'm sure some of my posts are.

Well, I guess ignorance can be funny, in a Patsy and Edina kind of way. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. That's always a possiblity, regardless of how strident my opinions are. Smile Smilie

And I agree, to each his own. Smile Smilie
Gandalf is almost killed. In the end he is rescued by a giant moth that he commanded to do his bidding with his magic. In the book they explain all about the moth but it is just retarded appearing out of nowhere like that in the movie, no one knows why a giant moth is helping him.

hehe....lord I hope the guy wasn't truly serious...funny if it was a joke (which I think is likely), kind of sad if he was for real...
OH.......MY.......GOD....... Thats one of the most amusing things i've read for a long time!!!!!!! Its got to be a hoax! If not heaven help the poor sod who wrote it! Blatantly he's never read it (In the event of it being genuine)

I remember in the book there were three chapters devoted to them explaining how the ring was forged and how it could be unmade in the fires of the mountain, but in this movie? Nada. I mean I knew how it would work, but anyone who was seeing the movie and had not read the book would be confused as all hell.

This guy aint got a clue mate.
Oh yeah, just caught the title of the site, spoof!
It's worse than a spoof. Here's the proof. Prepare to be thoroughly insulted and humiliated. Mad Smilie

Hopefully for Yummy's sake they didn't post his/her E-mail. Disturbed Smilie

[Edited on 7/3/02 by ProgHead777]

[Edited on 7/3/02 by ProgHead777]

[Edited on 3/7/2002 by Allyssa]
You know, the general consensus seems to be that the review is a joke or "spoof". So why are we dignifying it with so much response?

IMHO: Ignore Smilie it.
I will from now on, promise.
But just wanted to say that it's still a great joke. Very Big Grin Smilie
Ignore Smilie
I don't know whose worse.. the people that actualy take time to write those things.. or those of us that actually read them! Big Laugh Smilie
ROFLMFAO!!!!!! Big Laugh Smilie
These people are serious geeks, and need to get a life fast, only problem being, that I could spot problems in what they were pointing out as problems, so I must be a worse geek, damn!
I just realized I made a total fool out of myself over this in the chat room the other day Ignore Smilie It's not worth recounting but the people that were there know what I mean. Oh well, you live and learn. Big Laugh Smilie Anyway, it is kinda funny. Just not for the people who wrote the E-mails I guess.

[Edited on 7/7/02 by ProgHead777]
I , it is kinda funny. Just not for the people who wrote the E-mails I guess.

I think it is cruel to make jokes at the expense of others that way. Although, maybe they did kind of ask for it, by responding to something that was just sooooo rediculous.

Actually, I cant help but wonder if maybe the postAuthorID of the review made up the replies? or at least added photos - who would post a photo of themselves when flaming someone?
He did add the photos himself, he admitted as much, saying that that was just what he figured they probably looked like. Now those poor people whose photos he used, them I feel sorry for cos everyone who sees them will think they wrote such awful toss.

YOU ALL HAVE BEEN PRANKED ! It is clear prom first lines of his review that this guy is simply having fun or enjoys smirking about LOTR. I simply do not understand why such a commotion about this.
Ummm...yes Orange, we know. Welcome to the forum BTW. Are you gonna stick around or did you just drop in to make fun of us? Elf Rolling Eyes Smilie
Welcome to the forum Orange. Smile Smilie

The commotion is about the hundreds of Tolkien fans that got their legs pulled because they never recognized the spoof in the first place, and wouldn't listen when they were told. That some went so far as to respond to their chain being yanked, validated the originator's theory that there is nothing worse than a fanatic for blindly following where they are lead. The whole point of that website is to try to get a rise out of people, and usually it works.

I apologize to any our loyal Tolkien fans that might take umbrage with what I've said here. Sad Smilie I'm not laughing at any one in particular; I really hope that by now you're laughing with me. Very Big Grin Smilie
That was sick...