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Thread: Limericks! Ye Limericks here!

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Do these have to be Limericks we made up?
Oh, no no no, you can post whichever Limericks you want to!
There once was a man from Nan ...
Moderator Smilie No! We musn't go there. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

yeah, sure we do! Come on now Grondy, post it!
Condensed Story of Ms Farad
by A. P. French

Miss Farad was pretty and sensual
And charged to a reckless potential;
But a rascal named Ohm
Conducted her home -
Her decline was, alas, exponential.
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all of his cash in a bucket,
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
-Princeton Tiger
Big Laugh Smilie
There once was a gardener from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In half an hour

Can't have that one either.
Here is one I made up.

When is Return of the King?
Waitings a terrible thing.
The trailers not out
I'm starting to pout
I want PJ's rear in a sling.
Big Laugh Smilie Brilliant Lasgalen! Brilliant!
*Applauds Lasgalen* That's great. So true as well. Tongue Smilie
Lol, that's a good one Lasgalen!
Thank you. Thankyou very much
There and back again went our dear Bilbo
What he did on his journey we all know
Though great wisdom he earned
One thing he never learned
’Where in Heaven’s name did my spoons go?’
Roflmao!! Big Laugh Smilie Big Laugh Smilie

Great limericks both LadyF and Lasgalen!!
There once was a man named Boromir,
Neither goblin or orc did he fear.
But a small ring of gold,
On his heart took a hold.
Now no longer his horn do we hear.
Just one more! Tongue Smilie :
There once were some orcs on a hill
Trying Saruman's orders to fill
They suprised a small group -
Got two halflings to boot -
But one lost his head from the thrill.
A beautiful ring found by Deagol
was taken from him by Smeagol.
It's mine Smeagol said
Deagol is now dead.
He's now the main course for a sea gull.
Wow that was a cool one,did you make that,Lasgalen?

There once was a king named Aragorn.
In Sauron's crown he was a thorn.
His blade made of steel,
Brought the enemy to heel.
Of power the Dark Lord was truly shorn.
Yeah, that is my own creation. Glad to hear you liked it, LadyFeawen.
There once was a pirat from Spain
Who tried to rob people in vain
But when he said: "Boo!"
he got scared too
Therefore he was named Captain Lame!

I just wrote that one for a contest. Smile Smilie

And I won!! Today I got a Pirates of the Carribean t-shirt and two free tickets to Pirates of the Carribean! Talk about complete happiness! Big Smile Smilie
I`m gonna kill u Aire! Wink Smilie *Sheryl is very jealous!* but that`s ok, I saw it last night! Big Smile Smilie
I have not watched it yet! Very Sad Smilie Sad Smilie Wink Smilie
Legolas, hand and eye ever cunning
On the mountain of ice he’d be running
And yes, even though
He was buried in snow
He crawled out and was still looking stunning!

^I can't agree with that but it is pretty funny Tongue Smilie
While driving home from work, another limerick came to me.

To Amon Sul the group made a course
Where Nazguls attack Frodo enforce.
He then needed aid.
Then Aragorn said
"Arwen! You stole Glorfindel's horse."
Nice one Lasgalen. Happy Elf Smilie
Big Laugh Smilie
That one was REALLY good Lasgalen!
Orc Smiling Smilie Heh, I know a good limmerick, but I dare not repeat it here. Why? Because I don't want to get chucked out of this forum! But if you really must know then heres a hint: The Bridget Jones movie, the scene with the rowing boats and the limmerick Hugh Grant repeats. Very Big Grin Smilie
This one took about five minutes to conceive, another ten to wordsmith:

There was a young woman from Rohan
Who carrying arms had need of no fan,
She happened one day
On the battlefield to stray,
Convincing the Nazg’l Lord she was "No man". ’ Grondy

To Amon Sul the group made a course
Where Nazguls attack Frodo enforce.
He then needed aid.
Then Aragorn said
"Arwen! You stole Glorfindel's horse."

Lol, I like that one Lasgalen!
There once was a canner named Canny
Said the canner to his oldest Granny
a canner can can
what a canner can can
but a canner cant can a can-canny!
There once was a man from Peru
Who had dreamed he had eaten his shoe
he woke up in fright
in the middle of the night
to discover his dream had come true!
Hiya.... miss me?!
I'm at my cousin's house and she needs help writing a limmerick for school. (Think 5th grade)
Can anyone help us out?
Well, I just made this one up, but it still needs a little fine tuning:

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose mother grew giant corn in a bucket.
'For dinner tonight,
If you'd be so polite,
Please cut this one ear and then shuck it.'

Writing for a Family Friendly Site requires a little more poetic licence. Elk Grinning Smilie
There once was an eedjit (idiot) from Blarney
Who swallowed a stone for some money,
Said "I thought is was savvy"
the fool sat on the lavvy
And constipated, He died in Ag-Ony

"Some real Oirish Toilet humour" hehe!

Disturbed Smilie
My friend, i'm afraid I have lost
my creativeness, it has been tossed
i wish to repeat
my claim of defeat
my tongue seems more than a bit crossed.
i didnt know it was your hat
or i wouldnt have hit you with a bat
but u repeated some lines from spongebob
and i guess you got a sore head Bob?(spongebob is the great force of evil that plagues this planet like 50 million locusts in a wheat field)
Is that a real limrick, i ask you?
i dont know what a limrick is so i guessed it wuz a funny nonsense poem what is a limerick anyway.......................................................?
gimli, gimli, short and stout
is always drunk and has to shout
that the nancing elf
is not better than himself
and HE'S what the fellowship's all about
elrond, resident elf of doom
sings his theme song in every room
however, i'll bet
he doesnt realize yet
his backup singer's mister bloom
silly orc silly stupid orc
you are such a dork
rude and mean
and never clean
and always want some pork
There was a young hobbit called Merry
Who liked Buckleberry Ferry
He and Pip
Did hop and skip
To the inn to put ale in his belly
There once was a lady from Decatur
who thought she would sing at the theater
the poor little thing
got up to sing
and got hit in the eye with a tomater

(I added something to that:

somebody screamed
so she wouldn't sing
then someone, rude someone threw a potater.)

heh heh
this limerick is from The Hobbit. I cant believe someone hasnt said this yet. haha

Far over the Misty Mountains cold,
To dungeons deep and caverns old,
We must away,
Ere break of day,
To claim our long-forgotten gold!

thats great! I love that one!
i love lymrics!

once there was a man from kerry
he worked every day at his fathers dairy
he shufled the ****
and milked the cows tit
whilst singing songs and being merry

i just made that as i wrote it good eh?
It's not bad, but I wordsmithed it to make it even better and now it complies with our rules.

There once was a man from Kerry,
Who worked every day at the dairy.
He shoveled the sheet,
Milked each cow's teat,
Whilst singing songs very merry.

Of course I had something to start with, though I think I may have read this somewhere in the past.
o....mayb u did, i havent, there r a lot of once there was a man from (Irish county here) lymrics

once there was a good old mod
who many would say had a great bod
although over 67
he still could give ppl a good revin (wots that?)
so remember not to eat raw cod.
once there was a teacher of English
she liked to give tests on fish
she had an obsession
for a psycologist session
and so she got a crazy dish (of fish)
there once was a man named grep
he had a really good rep
he made cool sites
and rid old ones of parasites
but he doesnt remember the last time he slep(t)
i just used the search feature
it saved me lots of time
this isnt a limerick
but i just had to say
i love the search feature
I actually just had an assignment in english 2 days ago to make a limerick and a Haiku

There once was a lady who died
and all of her children did cry
they all said some words
and then they all heard
the little old lady as why
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