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Thread: The Lord of the Pants!

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Here is a hilariously, funny stuff I found somewhere in the vast stretches of cyberspace. Its called "The Lord of the Pants" and its a game and here are the rules:

1)Take a quote from LOTR (books or movie) and substitute the word "pants" for any other word in the passage.
2)You have to use the word "pants", not "pant".
3)Don't change any of the other words.
4)It should be funny if at all possible.

And below are the products of this game:

Gandalf: Bilbo...the ring is still in your pants.

Frodo: Bilbo found it... in Gollum's pants.

Aragorn: You draw far too much attention to your pants, Mr. Underhill!

Pink Eye: The trees are strong my Lord. Their pants go deep.
Saruman: Rip them all down.

Aragorn: This is beyond my skill to heal, he needs elvish pants.

Arwen: "Frodo f’r. Ae athradon i hir, tur gwaith n’in beriatha hon." (Frodo dies. If I get across the river, the pants of my people will protect him.)

Legolas: You have my bow.
Gimli: And my pants!

Gimli: Let us go through the pants of Moria!
Gandalf: No Gimli, I would not take the roads through Moria unless I had no other pants.

Gandalf: Its Saruman!
Aragorn: He’s trying to bring down the pants!

Boromir: Legolas! Aim for his pants! Come on!

Gandalf: Fool of a Took! Throw your pants in next time and rid us of your stupidity!

Aragorn: By nightfall these pants will be swarming with orcs!

Aragorn: (to Haldir) boe ammen veriad lin. (We need your pants.)

I'll just call it quits for now. I'll be back with more next time but I hope to see some contributions from all you members out there too.
Keep laughing,

Great idea Lord_aragorn86!

Hmmm, let's see:

Gandalf: Is is said that he will not die by a man's pants.
Boromir. 'I need your Pants: that you know now; but I give you my word that I do not desire to keep it (them). Will you not at least let me make trial of my plan? Lend me the Pants!'
Big Laugh Smilie

He paused, and then said in a deep voice: "This is the Master-Pants, the One Pants to rule them all. This is the One Pants lost many years ago, to the great weakening of its maker's power.
Now, he greatly desires to have it again - but he must NOT get it"
Gollum: Noooooo! Our pants is lost!

Gandalf: There is only one Lord of the Rings; And he does not share pants!
Ha Ha Ha Smilie These are awesome!!

Bilbo: I want to see pants again, pants Gandalf
Aragorn: Sauron will not have forgotten the pants of Elendil
Aragorn: 'Oathbreakers, why have you come?'
And a voice was heard out of the night that answered him, as if from far away:
Oathbreakers: 'To fulfill our oath and have pants.'
Theoden: Now for pants, now for ruin, and a red dawn!
The Witch King: Do not come between a Nazg’l and his pants
Gandalf: All these long years it was in the Shire, under my very pants.

Gandalf (to Balrog): I am the servant of the secret fire! Wielder of the pants of Anor!

Aragorn: I swore an oath to protect you.
Frodo: Can you protect me from your pants?

Aragorn: I do not know what strength lies within my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the white pants fall.

Aragorn: Not idly do the pants of Lorien fall.

Eomer: How long was it since Saruman bought you? What was the promised price, Grima? When all the men are dead, you would take your share of the treasure? Too long have you watched my pants.

Gimli: Give me your pants, horsemaster, and I shall give you mine.

Legolas: You would die before your pants fell!
Frodo: I wish none of this had happened!
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such pants.

Gandalf: When in doubt master Meriadoc, always follow your pants!

Aragorn: Do not disturb the pants.

Ha Ha Ha Smilie I love this game!!! Elk Grinning Smilie
Sam clinging to Frodo pants, collapsed on a step in the black darkness.

"Poor old pants, he said in a choking voice "poor old pants". Wolves and pants. But the pants were too much for him. I had to choose, Mr Frodo I had to come with pants.
Saruman: The horsemen took your pants. They drove your people into the hills, to scratch a living off rocks.

Frodo: Nothing ever dampens your pants, does it Sam.

Gollum: Filthy little thieves, they stole our pants and we wants it!

Frodo: This is sting. You've seen it before, haven't you Gollum! Release him or I'll cut your pants!

Faramir: A chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor, to show his pants.

Elrond: I will not leave my pants here to die.

Gimli: Most have seen too many winters....
Legolas: Or too few. Look at them, they're frightened, I can see it in their pants.
Galadriel: Did you not say that you wished to see Elf-pants?

Saruman: You will taste man-pants!

Gandalf: Run Shadowfax, show us the meaning of pants!

Grishnakh: What about their pants, they don't need those?

Bilbo: What business is it of yours what I do with my own pants?

Gandalf: We will face the long pants of Moria.

Galadriel: It was in this time, when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the King, took up his fathers pants.
Big Laugh Smilie

"Almost felt you liked the Forest! That's good! That's uncommonly kind of you," said a strange voice. "Turn around and let me have a look at your pants."

"We are tree-herds, we old Pants. Few enough of us are left now. Sheep get like shepherd, and shepherds like sheep, it is said; but slowly, and neither have long in the pants. It is quicker and closer with trees and Pants, and they walk down the ages together. For Pants are more like Elves: less interested in themselves than Men are, and better at getting inside other things. And yet again Pants are more like Men, more changeable than Elves are, and quicker at taking the colour of the outside, you might say."

"Some of my pants look just like trees now, and need something great to rouse them."

"There have been no Pantings - no children, you would say, not for a terrible long count of years. You see, we lost the Pants."

"Hoo, eh? Pantsmoot?" said Treebeard, turning round. "It is not a place, it is a gathering of Pants."

"Several Pants had already arrived. More were coming in down the other paths, and some were now following Treebeard."

"Come, join the Pants! We are off. We are off to Isengard!"

"Pants! Pants!" the Riders shouted. "Pants is arisen and comes back to war. Pants for Th’oden King!"

"Pants!" he muttered. "We'll never rush it like this. There's Pants about, and worse than Pants."
"Then what are you doing here?" they answered. "Why do you look out? Do you wish to see the greatness of our pants? We are the fighting Uruk-Hai!"
"I looked out to see the pants," said Aragorn.

"Where iss it, where iss it: my Pants, my Pants? It's ours, it is, and we wants it. The thieves, the filthy little thieves. Where are they with my Pants? Curse them! We hates them!"

"Hush!" whispered Frodo. "I thought I heard pants."
"Pants of Rohan, Pants of Gondor, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same pants that would take the pants of me. A day may come when the pants of men fails but it is not this day, this day we fight!
By all that you hold dear, on this good pants, I beg you, stand, Pants of the West!"- Aragorn

"I am no pants."- Eowyn

"Speak, pants, and enter."

"What's this, a pants caught off his guard?"- Arwen

"This is no mere pants!"- Legolas

"Do not meddle in the pants of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger."

"Put aside the pants, become who you were born to be."- Elrond

"I do not fear Pants!"- Aragorn

"Yes they are Pants," said Legolas,"and they say that you breathe so loudly they could shoot you in the dark."

"Have you learned nothing of the pants of dwarves."- Legolas

"Shall I describe it to you...or would you like me to get you a pants?" -Legolas
oh, what kinda thread is this??? looks like the exact thing me could enjoy... it's actually easy to entertain me...

ok, my tries (I hope they weren't posted before)

Bilbo: May come in useful, if you think of getting pants, Sam.

Aragorn: It is difficult with these evil pants to know when they are in league and when they are cheating one another.

Sam: Three precious little pants in a row we shall be, if this goes on much longer.

you know, that would be a nice game if the others guessed which word was replaced by "pants", though it's very easy most of the time...
Bombadil?:the world is changing, i can feel it in (my) pants
History becomes legend, Legend becomes pants and pants are long forgotten.
I wish i had never seen such pants

Gimli: toss my pants.

Boromir: by the pants of MY ppl r ur lands kept safe

Arwen (in movie): wot pants have given me, give him

Throw ur pants into the fires!

you rascals! u wolly-fotted wolly-pansted traunts!

though i wqould sooner hear how they came by (those)pants

lets find a pants to lie in, not lower down, higher up for me.

the pants hurts us and we have done nothing!

and creative translating by Elrose
A Elbereth Githoniel
o menel palan-direl,
le nallon si di' nguruthos!
A tiro nin, Fanuilos!

Oh Lord of Pants!
Oh pants queen, pants maker,
pull of the spiders 8 legged pants!
make the bloody fellow embaresed!
all i ask is for something to aim at!
The pants go ever ever on,
down form the door where it [they] began,
Now far ahead the pants have gone,
and I must follow if I can,
pusuing it [them] with weary feet,
until it [they] join some larger way,
where pants and errands meet,
and whither the I cannot say.