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I have created this thread to honor those, that for whatever personal reasons have left our site for more than three months to date. For a start I will choose Halbard. He in my opinion was a highly intelligent deep thinker, who was also incredibly humble and appreciated the little things in life. i learned so much from him and miss him very much. Come back if you can .

When i was a new face here there was a fellow called Lord of All who used to crack me up. He was a rather in your face guy and not afraid of standing up to anyone including the illustrous council members. He had a few sparring matches with our darling Grondy and once with me. I really miss him

Cloveress, if you happen to drop by from time to time and you read this, I miss terribly that joyful, intellectual and down to earth personality always so delightful each time you posted.

It was Cloveress, a teen, who i remember giving awards for the Post of the week. And she would give awards to us as well for such things as the most proflific poster, the funniest, the most likely to win the hearts of others, it was great fun and we all waited breathlessly to see whom she chose. It was how I came to learn about others in a more intimate way and it helped me navigate my way through these hallowed halls of Middle-Earth.

I remember when she was so excited to be getting her driver's license and how bitter sweet her goodbyes as she left for college. May the stars of Middle-Earth shine brightly upon you little one.

Oh Leelee, it's a pity that so many PT members don't post anything from long ago. I can imagine how you feel. Me, at the moment I am quite new here so I cannot miss anyone. That makes me really happy, because I am very fond of them.

Please go on with the list, I am sure there are more people that deserve to be remembered and who knows? maybe in brief they come back and smile reading this thread. It would be a kind of dedication.

When the Grondmaster , Grondy we called him, died and I tried to log in but there was a picture of John  instead i felt like I was falling into blackness. I cried for a full week. I only came to this place and dared to stay for the love and respect i held in my heart for Grondy. His wisdom, humour, sometimes his gentle rebuke and his vast knowledge of Tolkien was honey to my lips, a balm for my heart. I always looked for his posts first before and read them as if they were something ancient, once buried and now come to light. I miss you so very much Grondy, and I love you forever.

Mellon, after Loss, was my first friend on this site and such encouragement she gave me, I still think on it. She was a friend on facebook when i used to be on it, such a vibrant lovely face. Miss you dearest.

And dear Sian o the green, later just Sian. She and i have shared many thoughts and her practical wisdom and way of seeing things got me thru a great deal of pain . I can see her so clearly sitting on the steps in the great fresh air ,blue skies and I miss her awesome posts. Come back dearest.

What a great idea for a thread, Leelee. I hope you don't mind if I add a few names from when I first joined the site many years ago.


Allyssa – The first person to speak to me when I first stumbled into the Planet Tolkien chat room after becoming a member of the site. Allyssa was along with Grondy one of the first two Council members, and also the founder of the Writers Guild. She was the person who encouraged me to begin writing short stories myself and whose request for a story featuring the sons of Elrond, prompted my Rangers of the North story. I also remember her being none too happy when I wrote a paragraph featuring a Godfather parody in which Asfaloth’s head was found in Glorfindol’s bed in one of her shared roleplaying stories.


Rednell – Another of my first friends on PT and another early Council Member. Nell helped run the Reading Discussion group and topped my list of the PT member I would most like to sit and have a beer with.


PlasticSquirrel – A musician and writer, PlasticSquirrel was quick witted and world-wise. His early discussions with Ungoliant were not particularly “family-friendly”, so it was a surprise to us all when Taz made him a Council Member. Taz was right though, and we saw a new responsible PlasticSquirrel emerge.


Eryan – A Polish scientist and writer who studied ants. We shared many posts and emails discussing short stories we had each written.


Gnampie – Another scientist who had studied ants, wrote short stories and shared many a post or email discussing topics with me.


Tom Bombadil – Tommy was a young lady who at first was annoyingly obsessed with trying to gain the top number of posts on the site from PlasticSquirrel and Grondy. Once she learned the gap was actually getting wider rather than narrower she replaced quantity with quality and became a valued member of the Old Gang. Last I heard she was disappearing off to Russia to study.


42 – Because 42 worked aboard tall ships, we shared a passion for the sea. Strangely, possibly because of her line of work, I went almost a year thinking 42 was a guy rather than a girl.


Elfstone – A great guy who played great guitar on a blues CD I still regularly play today. We often discussed getting together for a beer if his band ever came over to tour in the UK. Elfie always presented a thoughtful argument to his discussions and was for a short while another Council Member. Unfortunately, the last I heard his PC was dying, and I have not heard anything from him since.


Ross – What can I say about Ross, other than he hated the LotR films, continually told us all how much he hated them and berated anyone who dared to like them. Ross, more than anyone else created work for the Council Members before finally getting himself permanently banned. I do miss him though.


ProgHead – Proggy shared my love of Progressive Rock and we spent many an hour discussing music with PlasticSquirrel.

My dearest Leele I'm still around .though not as often as I used to be.


 PT is the place where I find Peace.wisdom .lots of JOY and Happiness.


I often think  our dear Grondmaster whom thougth me so much


I hope you are well Leelee..Love and hugs across the sea


Mellon! I burst into tears when I saw your avy. Thankyou dear one for dropping in. It means the world to me. Smile Smilie

Val I remember 42 and Plastic and a few of the others. I used to take time to read older threads and I was swept away. I remember Elfstone as well and greatly admired him. Ross, I am not sure, have to check back. And the others I am not that sure. But just having you and Mellon drop in is a trip back memory lane and a dream come true. You have no idea how much it means.

I really miss Gandalf Olerin, he said he would try to post more often and then he somehow slipped off the radar. I hope you are alright Gandalf. He helped me personally in so many ways, i don't know what I would have done without his insight and prayer. He is the best

btw Leelee. I added Gandalf-Olorin accidentally to my buddy-list and I saw that his last login was on 14/07/2012. So that isn't very long ago. It is some time ago since I added him. And I never have delete him from my buddy-list. So sometimes when I looked at my buddy-list I saw that he was online. The last time he was online for almost every day, until the 14th.

Yes, I am signed in most of the time.  Only recently have I switched browsers, and now I have so many windows already open I don't automatically sign in to PT.  This is probably why I "dropped off the radar."  I haven't posted very much in quite a while due to family and career crises...but my heart is never far from PT and all the friends I've made here.  

Thank you, Leelee, for making this thread.  And thank you, Arwen, for remembering me--that is so very kind of you.  I will even thank Valedhelgwath, even though he didn't mention me here, because we've become best friends and email each other every chance we can.  Val's stories are simply the best fan fiction based in Tolkien's world that I've ever read.

And in case you wonder, I miss Virumor.  He and I became good friends, I think, because we argued with LoA so much.  Many of you may also remember Morambar.  He and I became fast friends here also.  We still chat on Skype, though he has moved from Texas to Norway and married the love of his life there.

I remember others, but I will stop for now.  Take care all, and thanks for remembering!


How absolutely wonderful for you to post Gandalf, thank you from the depth of my heart. I cannot say anymore, my heart is so full of happiness.

I will even thank Valedhelgwath, even though he didn't mention me here, because we've become best friends and email each other every chance we can.  Val's stories are simply the best fan fiction based in Tolkien's world that I've ever read.

Thank you for your kind words, Gandalf. The only reason your name wasn't included on my list is that Leelee specified at the start it was for people we have not seen for a while, and although I realized you had not been here for some time, I felt you were never very far away. Most of the ones on my list tend to be names from the distant past, and unfortunately in several cases no longer in touch.

It is good to see you post again. Try not to be too much of a stranger.

You are all a bit like the Elves, living in the past


There is truth in that statement, and hullo to you . And you seem a little bit like a Hobbit Tween, making bold sweeping statements about we Elves. Wink Smilie

I do beg your pardon, Leelee, I was quite forgetting myself. I will now return to tending my vegetable garden and get on with practical things in my hobbit hole. By the way, I left your laundry at the bottom of the stairs, all ironed and folded.

How nice from you to post something, Gandalf. I hope you will post more often. Hope everything goes alright with you.
Love Arwen


I miss myself and how I had time to spend here and get to know people. XD

So many familiar names in here, good memories. I miss the chat room, and Vee, and chatting with Taz and admiring his latest web creations, I miss Legolaslass and Laurelindhe Illmarin  (I think I still am able to spell her name right without looking it up. I may be wrong. XD). Airecristiel and LA86, my sweedish sister and Indian little brother, adopted via PT....  

And Ross! I found I had his avatar saved in a long forgotten folder and I laughed. I probably saved it after the time he lost and we or he managed to find it somewhere. 

So, Morambar is a Norwegian now? Awesome! 

No, Amarië, I'm still a Texan, just living in Norway (where the laptop has a convenient diaeresis mark.)  Nice of ya'll to remember me all the same though, thanks. Wink Smilie I confess a part of me dislikes threads like these because I always feel guilty and worried anyone I don't mention by name will feel forgotten when they weren't:  There are just so MANY people who merit memory.  Most of those I remember best are people with whom I've had many detailed Middle-earth discussions; what held me at PT for so long before life drew me away was that it was the first and is still the only site I've found where many members possess an encyclopedic rather than cursory knowledge of not only the Trilogy, but the Silmarillion and even HoME, which I consider far more epic and grand than the Professors most famous work.

Gandal-olorin certainly qualifies on that level, and is also a dear friend whose selfless ever-present counsel and compassion helped me through some rough patches the last few years.  We share several areas of strong agreement and disagreement, but also a brotherhood transcending and enduring all differences, and among my lessons in recent years were frequent pointed reminders such friends are double precious for their worth and rarity.  I'm honored to know and privileged to have visited him just before leaving the States; that was Labor Day weekend, so I guess it would been two years ago next month.  All I can say is thank heaven for Skype to inexpensively keep in touch with such fine and hard to find friends.

Grondys many Middle-earth quizzes are testament to the breadth and depth of his knowledge of the Professors life and work, but he was equally adept at analysis.  He was also caring, considerate and wise; all PT regulars understandably felt his loss keenly, and that certainly includes me.  I still half expect to pop into the trivia thread and quibble over some technicality in an attempt to claim a Silmaril, only to be shot down by an even more obscure bit of minutiae I carelessly overlooked.

I remember Virumor/Miruvor for both his Middle-earth scholarship and many vain efforts to pull me away from wotmania to revisit PT.  I still feel bad he was not more successful, despite going to the extent of joining the former site to Noteboard friendly entreaties.  He and Grondy seemed to be the only ones with much interest in the Wheel of Time thread I started in the Non-Tolkien Books forum (I consider it a trifle unfair on several levels that, even though we started the series long before him, Grondy got to see the ending long before we will.)  They both took to it with the same meticulous and insightful attention they gave the Professors works though, deepening my appreciation for discussion with both of them.  Hopefully this thread can draw Vir back the way it did me (though I must shamefully confess I probably wouldn't have known about it if not for Gandalf-olorin; another debt I owe him.)

I remember LoA also, though my growing disengagement from PT meant I was mostly a spectator in his debates.  He also was hardly ignorant of the Professors work; I didn't always agree with his conclusions (or tone Wink Smilie) but he'd done his homework well enough to cite a fair amount of evidence for them even if I often interpreted that evidence differently.

Good to see you again, btw, Val, and I remember you as well; another PT member diligent in dissection and courteous in converse.  Here's hoping you're well, and remain so. Smile Smilie

I remember Cloveress, too, partly because she reminded me so much of my wotmania friend Clover I finally had to ask if they were the same person (they aren't.)  Every site could benefit from such sweet, sensitive and friendly souls.

For my own long absence, I can offer only the explanation (not excuse) that wotmania in its prime was more than a fan site or even community, a hard to explain tightly knit family of mostly misfits numbering in the hundreds.  I'll try to stop in a bit more frequently henceforth.

Morambar, of course I should have said "living in Norway" or something like that, I'd be terribly dissapointed if I found you had packed away your Stetson hat for good. Smile Smilie 

I am generaly a bit apprehensive of these threads also, because every member and every post is important and valuable. I got a bit carried away skipping down Memory Lane. 

Actually, it's a Broncos cap, Amarië, but close enough. Wink Smilie  In reminscently browing the trivia threads I found an old post where I wondered how the Rohirrims names are written "in Scandinavian climes;" I've now confirmed they are the same as in English (which isn't always the case with translations; the Norwegian version of the Trilogy refers to Merry as "Munti," while Strider is "Vidvandre," which sounds a bit more respectable to my ear.)

You perfectly understood my reservations about reminiscent threads, incidentally:  I don't want to omit my many unforgettable friends, nor fill a page with rambling in an effort to prevent that.  It's kind of a no-win situation, but perhaps I just need to learn how to see the glass as half full instead of half empty.  It's certainly good to catch up again with old friends long missed. Smile Smilie

Hullo Morambar, thankyou for contributing.

I erected this thread because each one of us has memories peculiar to ourselves and our journey in Middle-Earth. We, each of us was not friends nor shared with everyone. Only a few that became part of our world here, and only here for the most part. So anyone seeing this thread would automatically have his or her own memories. It leaves no one out, but it does honor those who meant something to us personally. And it is fitting I feel to say something if one chooses. And one never knows if that will bring someone back or remind that somone that they were a valuable member and human being to such and such a member.

Think of it as a column in a newspaper that folk read daily or once in a while and once in a while contribute to. And the thread can go on as long as the site lasts. Eventually anyone that hung out here for any length of time will be remembered. 

I am starting to feel extremely in need of Odette to come back and what I wonder has happened to Fahvier who graced our poetry section? Come back when you can. And, although Rho comes on now and then I really liked regularly 'listening' to what he said. And Cheesy, where are you ? I remember when you thought I insulted you and said so. You were endearing to me.

Sometimes I still look for grondy's posts when I browse thru the forums Sad Smilie

Such is the way of all flesh

Arath, everytime I saw your avy I started to cry , something about it , and your incredible intelligence and something about you, something that was so like Tolkien's characters, sad and profound would make my heart pound. And when you seemed to have gone away it hurt my heart so much. I always worried about you , where were you, were you alright. I will go have a long cry now that you have come back, if only for a moment. you were and are and always will be so dear to me. May Eru bless your going out and your coming in, forever.

A day without my hero Vir is like a day without sun, food, sunset, TinTin, Poirot. Come home Vir, come and rock our world once more, come irritate everyone, insult Aeowyn if you must, or Arwen. Only just come and be with us once more. pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

Turin what adventure did you go on, when will you be back. And Wen and Rukain, visit please.


Arath, everytime I saw your avy I started to cry , something about it , and your incredible intelligence and something about you, something that was so like Tolkien's characters, sad and profound would make my heart pound. And when you seemed to have gone away it hurt my heart so much. I always worried about you , where were you, were you alright. I will go have a long cry now that you have come back, if only for a moment. you were and are and always will be so dear to me. May Eru bless your going out and your coming in, forever.


Sadly I have very little time these days to use a computer at all. I've just recently gotten one of my all time favorite jobs of tending some gardens and a small forest for one elderly couple. It's all I've dreamed of all those long days amid all the concrete of the city. I've also just gotten my knee in rough shape (I found out I'm not quite the athlete I was a few years back cheeky)  another sad fact is that I can no longer play the guitar due to some bad wrist strain injuries and that's mostly been very annoying at times when I felt I needed to let off some of my creative steam Smile Smilie Now I've taken up the Harmonica (just got my first ever harmonica yesterday) I don't know much yet but I have all the time I want to play it since it is so easy to take along even for a walk.

Don't shed a single tear for me I beg! But do look out for me at unlikely times indecision I never know when I get a chance to get on the computer!


Nae saian luume'

Tenna' ento lye omenta

"Sometimes I still look for grondy's posts when I browse thru the forums Sad Smilie"


So do I Arath

How wonderful and mystical sounding, about your job I mean. As for your wrist , proper therapy, you can find out what to do at a walk in clinic even, doing the proper things over time can restore it. I had a severe injury to my right wrist and it is fine now, but after a year. And, as for not shedding a single tear dear Arath, i can no more help that than Nienna. It seems I have been given since infancy the 'gift' of tears. Be well and happy Arath.

Thanks for the trip down Memory Lane!! There are so many people from the chat room that I became so attached to and miss those days dreadfully!

Calenthang aka Cale from Bulgaria had such passion for the LOTR movies but always remained respectful of those who found fault with it. Oddly enough, I received a postcard from him last year. Celebrian from Norway was so sweet to chat with, as was our young and very mature, Samwise. She chose her username well.  And we cannot forget our sweet Rhodry. Rho still drops in once and awhile, but he is a very busy man with a family and farm to run. I had the honour to meet MelliotSandybanks, another councillor, Airecristal and Gilmli_Axe_Wielder at a Tolkien convention in Toronto during the release of the 3rd film. They are as wonderful in person as they were in the forums and in chat!! Chitakat helped put together the Tolkien biography. Gildor was always a constant in the chatroom. Oh yes, who can forget Darous? The Irishman who manage to cause a disruption or 2. T'was hard to stay mad at him, though.

Val, I would love nothing more than to have a discussion over a beer or 2. Allyssa and 42 were the first people I met in the chat room when doing a Google search for Tolkien chat back in the days of IRC. The following day, Taz dropped in for a chat and I was hooked on PT!

We have had such a fantastic family here at PT and I will forever treasure those special moments.Everyone, old and new, has contributed more than you realize to this website and has touched someone's life.

 I apologize that I don't get online very often, but truth is that I rarely turn on my laptop. My time seems to be swallowed up with work, an aging mother, aging house,  my dogs and fabulous little granddaughter. When winter settles in, I will have more time to visit. Oh, and my very slow Internet connection tries my patience continuously. Usually, my tenacity wanes.

Thank-you, so much, Leelee for giving this gift of a walk down memory lane.

Fen, you have a grandchild, I thought you were about thirty two. How cool. I miss you , but i think you said you love learning and taking courses and that takes a great deal of time. I myself this autumn will be continuing my law studies and with the little one and her speech therapy and part time home schooling and my free lance and our street work to help those in trouble, er, well sleep becomes a much coveted treasure.

And you are welcome. I was hoping to merge the old and the new and make us a seamless family. IT was from reading old threads that I got to know many and fell in love with this place. Grondy clinched it for me. And our dear handsome Taz, well, he always took time to help me feel welcome and like my voice mattered.

Taz, i really miss you. If you an Vir came back i would probably be so overwhelmed I would need hospitilization. But you have your as you call them hair brained schemes to make mucho denaro, and personally I think Vir is a secret agent in between doing his life and death journalism( he will always be my TinTin) so of course and his fifteen or so children, well any number of them, of course he cannot spare a lot of time. But i dream.  Miss you dRob, I hope you've come out of the rain.

I also remember Taz and his grandmother.  She was ill and Taz was spending a lot of time with her, if I remember right.  I can't remember details, but she may have passed on.  I tried to express my sympathy since I had not long before lost my dad.  Now my mom is gone also 1 1/2 years.  I hope Taz knows we are all here for him.

Thanks to Val and Morambar for such kind words.  I hope to always be worthy of such noble friends.

Hello Nell!  It's a long time since I've heard from you.  You sound as busy as you've ever been, though I can't say I'm surprised about that.  Have you read any good fanfic lately?  I am still waiting for Val to write more.  

I can't remember anyone else at the moment, but I know there are more to remember.  My head isn't working as well as it ought since I am fighting with pneumonia.  Pray I recover soon and can get back to work.

It sounds like you are not having a fun time at all at the moment, Gandalf. I hope you soon recover.

It's a long process on medication, my good Val.  But I'm on the way.  I would be much encouraged with a tale or two from your pen.


My dear friend, we are praying for you to totally recover. Be careful though, when I had pneumonia I was critically ill for nearly one month, bedridden and too weak to do anything for another two months and it took one entire year for me to get back to normal. It left an emotional scar for a while. One day much after recovery I was in the shower and suddenly felt as if I was dying. I was rushed away to get medical attention and found to be still fragile in one lung and my nerves were terrible. May you get well quickly and have absolutely no secondary problems.

I miss Finwe and wonder if things worked out alright for him. I worried over him on and off for a long time.

I would love the time to write once more, Gandalf, particularly if I thought it would bring you some comfort through your illness. I was never a fast writer though, and each story takes me many days that I no longer have spare. I did start a new story several years ago that I never finished. I was trying something different, with a more romantic theme, but I was never really happy with it. Kind of felt a bit Mills and Boon compared to what i had written before. I will have another look at that one for you and see if I cannot finish the ending for it.

Just to let everyone know that Val finished his story for me.  It is, like every other story from Val's pen, the best story I have read.  He captures the manner of Tolkien's subcreation without merely rewriting what has already been written.  He gave me new characters to believe were alive, gave me a new plot to follow through, and compelled me by the power and beauty of his words to follow him to the end.  It is a thing of beauty, and I am grateful to my good friend for having written such a work of art for me.


As I mentioned in the covering email, I was very unsure about that particular story so I am pleased you liked it. As it was rushed, particularly towards the end, it needs a little polishing here and there. It does feel as though a burden has been lifted from me now that it has been completed at last. It's like a blockage has been cleared. Time is still very much a problem for me, but I can already feel myself exploring new ideas to write about.

How wonderful for you dear Gandalf and it is nothing less than I would expect from such another master. Are you sharing?

Perhaps Val will post again the link to his blog site where his fiction can be read at ease.  I am sure he will add this newest to the list of stories that are already there.  Namarie!


Namarie dearest. We are still praying good health to cover you like a warm blanket.

I miss and remember fondly every post Turin ever wrote. Hope you are doing well and are happy.

I also remember Glorfindel from Belgium who was kind to me in the old chat.  I was very new here at that time and he helped me out quite a bit.  


Just as you did me.

Wow! I have been missed! Can my faery wings still flutter? I'm twitching them now... oh yes! What a relief, a liberation, to zoom back amongst the canopies of the familiar Planet! I have missed you all, too, my adopted online family! 

Leelee, I thank you for your constant prayers and well wishes. Your positivity is infectious and has touched me many times. I cannot tell you how welcome and warm I felt when reading you post about missing me. And all you others too! Loss, who always made me smile in the past; Morambar, who I remember, used to post some detailed interpretations of LOTR/Sil characters in many a long debate on the forums; Amarie, whose name I love because my favorite character has always been Finrod, who was a big sister to me, and even you, Gandalf_olorin! I know you as a very intellectual entity. I may even have given you a few awards in the past, hah! I see that Val has also had some recent activity, and his presence comforts me quite a bit.

I am afraid the Awards thread will probably not be revived by me. I know Loss has said that it would not be the same if someone else did it, and I'm blushing with the flattery in that statement, but the truth is, I am so far removed from the daily happenings here that I have lost that magic touch for giving out just the right award to just the right person. Perhaps it is time to pass on the torch. Those awards were always awfully heavy for a little pixie like me, anyway! I'm as small as a hummingbird, and without their amazing muscle-power!

And finally, of course, I have to ask: where is Vir? That grumpy old sack of potatoes! Where is he? I have missed him. In a sense, I grew up teasing and bantering with him. I remember he used to say I chose the awards to irritate him. Which, to be fair, may have been true. 


[editted part]

and how could I forget LordofAll? Hahahaha! Oh, it cracks me up to recall how he would get under Vir's skin!

Leelee, you made this thread to remember those who haven't been online for more than three months.
I don't know exactly how long ago it is since the last time you logged in. But at least it's a long time ago since you posted something. Even if it isn't three months ago, it feels like a very long time.
I know you have your reasons. And I know you will never forget us. And we will never stop waiting until you come back. And we will always remember you! I think I can say, also on behalf of all the other members: "I miss you!"

I hope you are alright. Take care. I love you. Remember, we care about you.


Ditto Arwen's post

Dearest Lee Lee.  We miss your words of comfort and reason.  Hoping all is well in your life.



Well I had an aventure and the fact thatI lived was a miracle. Still I take each day and while I hope for another to take its place I dont presume.

I was working nights and had a terrible accident and when the next week I and my little Hasia were outside the bank, I was going to cash my cheque, the extended flu I had abnd other things took its toll .  One minute I was talking to her and the next I was fighting for my life, to breathe, to think, to stand up, I had had the equivalent to a stroke and I kept vomiting while Hasia screamed No one noticed and no one helped me.The mall kept spinning and I kept vomiting. Then I managed to phone for a taxi and a friend was driving it. He smiled when he saw me and I held out my hands because I could no longer speak.  He got out and carried me to the taxi and put my screaming girl in the back. He was going to drive me to hospital but I hAD A BAD FEELING, DOCTORS OF THE LOWEST SKILL ARE PLACED THERE DURING THE WEEKEND.  At home I was unable to stand without catapulting backward  For three dats and nights I slept a dar,k dream and vomited and my sons cleaned up and prayed what to do and when I woke up they took me to a specialist nd he examined me and gave me a needle to stop vomiting. And then I gave thanks for living thru it. He said I had not had an actual stroke but like it from being too sick too long please dear ones get your shots This year all of us Any way I asked God what to do and practised speaking and moving my right side. At first it was hard to speak, it hurt, and then to write, my hand would not obey But I kept praying and making my hand behave. All the speech therapy my Hasia was doing, she too got a speech problem following a virus, and slowly most of my speech came bak. I have a little trouble with certain sounds , but I work hard.

I am back at work, but I prayI will be allowed to be hear for my firl and I am grateful for each day. I heard that even babies can have this. I wish it on no one.. I have my fears and dry sometimes and then I realize how blessed I have been and now pray contantly for others, And I think for this Christnas I will spend the mornin g of Christmas Day at the hospital helping others who did not get well. I did that a while back but I had no understanding what they go through,

Dear rachel, I cannot express with words how good it is to see you posting something again, and I am also deeply sorry for all the struggles you've had. I just hope you're doing better now.

It's been awfully empty without you taking part in the thread conversations. I haven't been here actively either. The year started well, but then cigarettes and alcohol slowly started to make it all worse, but I'm now going in a good direction. I managed to quit smoking completely some 1 month and 3 weeks ago and I've no regrets. I ain't gonna hold unto those damn cigarettes another time in my life. And I've lowered my alcohol use too and started to eat more healthier + my daily rhythm is finally that of a normal person.

But I know that my problems aren't as big as yours. Not even close.

So, my best regards to you and your family and I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.

- Otto.

PS. I've finally got back into writing. It took me over 3-4 months to restore all of my interest and inspiration to write again actively and I think that good days lie ahead of me now.

Very sorry to hear about this Leelee, but it's good to know you are both on the path of recovery.

Keep strong. I wish mále ['good health'] for you and yours, now and in the future.


Wow.  Like Galin, I am very sorry to hear about what the both of you have been through.  For what its worth, you will both be in my prayers.  I also admire your courage for sharing this with everyone.  I believe that it is not easy to reveal your heart the way the both of you just did and I respect you immensely for it.

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