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Thread: I have lost my wings (Lyric)

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Hello folks, I would like to introduce myself, I am Oerath Windsoul (which is my artistic name) and I've been a writer/lyricist/song-writer for over 6 yours, along the way I've mastered a unique writing style/trademark of my own, and now I would want to show one of my oldest and finest works to you, and it is called 'I have lost my wings'. It tells of a song that was sung by Em’del, the oldest of all female dragons when she lost her wings and two of her sons in a fierce attack of M’grah (This is taken from my own mythology/world, which I use as main source of my stories/lyrics). So, I mostly do lyrics to my own interests and projects (expecially my own band-project), it is a hobby to me, but also as important as working daily in a shop or something, I combine elements of modern and more Tolkienish fantasy, lyricism and story-telling in my works, there's lot of 'commercial speaks', lyrical parts, story parts etc.. But to the lyric, here it is, enjoy, and remember to give feedback!

- Oerath thanks.

I have lost my wings

I feel that the sun won’t never shine again
And the moon won’t never stop crying
I feel that soon there’s no wind to blow
And no river’s to flow...

Everything has changed from the days of old...

I can’t find any words to tell
How much sadness I feel inside my heart
All light has soon faded away from my old eyes
There is no hope, ’cause this world is full of lies

This world is so cold, it has no heart at all
All leaves of the trees of life are already falling down
This world is so old, sky is so pale and it's colour is cold
And now there’s no place for me and my brethren anymore

I feel that the sun won’t never shine again
The moon won’t never stop crying
I feel that it’s time to close eyes and hope
That this world would change back to what it was before

This world is so cold, it has no heart at all
All leaves of the trees of life are already turning brown
This world is so old, and even though my heart is bold
I can’t fly anymore, because I’ve lost my wings

I lost my wings for the cruelty of M’grah and his servants...

Written by: Otto ’Oerath’ Timonen

(PS. this is a lyric that I am going to use in my musical works, so I trust that any of you won't copy and paste it to any kind of other forums, I've always shared some of my works with other people only to bring joy to their hearts, a writer is always happy to hear possible things of his/her work, but all kind of feedback is acceptable. Smile Smilie

Maybe this should be a Journal entry?
Maybe, I don't know, I just thought to introduce myself as a writer too, I hope that you, and all of you others that has read this or will read this liked/will like of it. Smile Smilie
Hi Oerath!that was very different.i really liked it.someday maybe you will put music to these words and it will sound really epic.
And you can post your work as journals as Cheesy told you.
By the way i am Odette.
nice to meet a fellow poet(though i write really badSmile Smilie).Keep writing mate
Many thanks, Odette, and nice to meet you too. Smile Smilie
Thanks for the advice, and yes, it is always nice to meet other writers/poets, and let me say the encouraging words that have always told me to go forward: It is not so important how do you write, what is your style or use of your language, but those things are what makes you a writer, and you've to stick to those three ideals and follow your own path. So, Odette, keep on with writing and I hope to see some of your works in near future. Smile Smilie
I post a lot under journals
But recently cant post more than onceSad Smilie
Thanks for the advice but i am not a stickler for rulesSmile Smilie
I prefer to be myself
I have lost my wings is a fine poem Oerath, except for the double negatives in the lines:
I feel that the sun won’t never shine again
And the moon won’t never stop crying
Which means the sun will shine again and the moon will stop crying.

Might I suggest you replace each "won't never" with "will never" Happy Elf Smilie Then while maintaining your desired meaning, you will also have proper grammar. Teacher Smilie

English is a hard language to master. I often make errors; and it is my native language. Elf Winking Smilie
Hmm, thanks for the notification, Grondmaster, I'll consider that in my future works, and yes, heh, the grammar is always important, but I've to admit that as I never wanted to learn english in schools, because I was too bored for that, I learned to use it it by my own mysterious ways. Wink Smilie