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Thread: Caution:Dont read this!

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Too late, I've read this topic... oh I see now. Anything by Philip Pullman, load of old s**t, oh and some dumb thing called the Wind Singer that my mates bird told me I just "had to read". She wasn't far off cos I'd never believe people could publish such crap if I hadn't. Big Smile Smilie

"Worst Book" is in the eye of the beholder. I hate to say it, but for me it is probably 'Moby Dick'. I have tried to read it three times and have never succeeded in get through more than about a third of the way through before putting it down again as a lost cause. The above probably says more about me than the literary value of the book, so in this case, read it if you can, it is supposed to be quite good. Wink Smilie
Hmmm. This is a good question, Allyssa, but heck if I can think of an answer at the moment. Every bad book I've read seems to be inaccessible in my memory. I know I've read some, but they escape me... not such a bad thing maybe...

Along the lines of Grondy's answer (ie- a "great work" that just didn't strike you), I liked Moby Dick but I've never been able to read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I've tried and tried (it's my best friend's favorite book, so I feel obliged) but the farthest I've ever gotten is maybe halfway through. It's just... dull. I can't make myself care enough to bother.
Yeah, I know what you mean about 'literary' books that are just plain boring. Ever read any David Malouf? Had to study two of his books at school, and hated them with a passion.

I recently asked my Novel Writing teacher what all the fuss was about with Malouf. He looked shocked at first, but when he realised I was serious, he explained that Malouf is a poet. What the heck is he doing writing novels then? Someone should put that guy out of his misery.

All of this is not to say that all 'literary' books are bad. Try reading Julia Leigh's The Hunter. That was awesome. Another awsome lit-book is a shorty called 'The Tale of the Unknown Island' written by someone who's name I have forgotten, but was a brilliant read. Will never forget it.
Too late, I've read this topic... . Big Smile Smilie

Big Smile SmilieBig Smile Smilie Plastic, somehow I just knew yours would be the first reply to this thread.Wink Smilie
Well... it was kinda like telling me not to press the big red button really... Big Smile Smilie
"Of mice and men" - can't remember who it was by, but had to read it for english a few years ago and HATED it! And the title of this thread really makes you want to read it, not the other way around!
And the title of this thread really makes you want to read it, not the other way around!

Which was kind of the idea. I just thought it was interesting that Plastic was the first to do so.Wink Smilie

Of Mice and Men was by John Stienbeck. The movie was definately better.

The worst books I ever had to read at school were:
Great Expectations Dickens
No Easy Walk to Freedom Nelson Mandella (not commenting on the cause, just the book was boring)
Mahatma Ghandi Ved Mehtah
Fly Away Peter David Malouf

I did however read some really good books at school, my favourite being The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler.

[Edited on 8/4/2002 by Allyssa]
I loved Great Expectations ! Although I didn't read it in school, which probably helped. Schools kill even the best books.

Steinbeck... eh... I don't really like his stuff but I don't hate it (except Grapes of Wrath is about 100 pages too long). Not like I hate Hemingway. The Old Man and the Sea , now there was a lame book. Soooo dull.
Hemmingway books are "guy" books.
True, but that's not why I don't like them. I don't mind "guy" books as a rule (well, except, Tom Clancy). My problem with Hemingway is that he's boring. Genius or not, he's a big bore.

I had an English teacher in high school who swore that a person couldn't enjoy Hemingway and Faulkner equally, that they appealed to such different personalities that even a reader who enjoyed both would still favor one. So I'm definitely a Faulkner person.
Anything by Dickens, absolute sh*te, without a doubt, I cannot stand it. More overrated than Bintney Speared.
I recently tried "The far pavillions" and I decdedly do NOT like it!i
This is a difficult question! I think I'll go for "The man in the iron mask" by Alexandre Dumas. I actually bought it, because I just loved the film, but I knew the book was entirely different. (it only cost me 1.5 Irish Pounds btw) It is such a lame and slow and dull book, you can't imagine it. The story is good, but it seems to go on forever...
definitely agree with Great Expectations as one of the worst books...decent enough story, but really really wordy...somebody told me that the reason it's like that, though, is that when Dickens was paid by the word to write it...(dunno if that's true...)

Also, Gulliver's Travels was SO boring...I really looked forward to reading it, but then...ugh.
I think three of the worst books I've ever read are Great Expectations, The Scarlet Letter, and Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. I had to read all three of them for school. I never did get to the end of Great Expectations and I barely made it to end of the other two.
The three worst books or in fact worst books full stop, that I have ever read were by the athour Ted Nasmith and him only :boring
Ted Nasmith wrote books?? I thought he was a painter. I rather like his paintings btw. Angel Smilie

[Edited on 16/4/2002 by Grondmaster]
Why the hell I wrote Ted Nasmith is beyond me, however I actually mean't Terry pratchett!
WHAT!!!!!! Have you no taste man? Exploding Head Smilie

[Edited on 16/4/2002 by Grondmaster]
Evidentally not Very Sad Smilie

[Edited on 16/4/2002 by Grondmaster]
It is okay Taz; one can not be perfect in all aspects of life, even if the Skwrl thinks he is. :P Very Big Grin Smilie

[Edited on 16/4/2002 by Grondmaster]
Thinks? No thinks about it, I am perfect! Big Smile Smilie
I have no taste either because I found Pratchett books boring and not appealing at all to anything in me. I'm glad Taz that I'm not alone!

[Edited on 17/4/2002 by Eryan]
Pratchett books not really my style either. I tend to take fantasy seriously.

Although I do enjoy the light humour of David Eddings.
Bwahaha! Let's start a revolution agaisnt Pratchett's book being published! Very Evil Smilie
Sorry, I'm on the side of the Skwrl on this one Taz, Smile Smilie even though I also enjoy the more serious works of R.A. Salvatore, Margaret Weis, Tracy Hickman, William Morris, E. R. Eddison, and Fritz Lieber; also I have all issues of Realms of Fantasy. magazine. To preclude burn-out, I won't read two Terry Pratchett novels back-to-back; I space them out with something intervening.
Yeah, but seriously, most fantasy writing is complete b***ocks, I mean, it takes itself way too seriously with these poncy gimps and their magic swords and all that! Tolkien I can appreciate, cos it's got a charm all of it's own, but nearly all the rest of it, is just cheap, and really crap imitation, and not even done very well. I realise most of you aren't going to agree with me, but I felt I needed to say this. I'd rather read something that makes me laugh and forget how crap life generally is, than some load of old Sh*t that has nothing whatsoever to do with my life, or anybody elses.
But Pratchett books do NOT make me laugh!!! I cannot see anything funny in them!
I must be deaf to their charm!
The same thing with the "Chronicles of Amber"... some people like them and I cannot understand why!
I do not like bad pompous pretentious second-hand fantasy either. Tolkien is different because it can be felt in his books that he was really honest, that he wrote them "in his life blood" as he told, and that they were not written in order to manipulate our feelings.
Loved Douglas Addams (*pauses for a moment silence) when I was kid. Havent gotten around to reading the last book in his trilogy yet. Was it good?
It is a particularly British kind of wit, not terribly dissimilar to Monty Python, or Douglas Adams (who is the innovater, and god of funny sf/fantasy books) I never thought it would travel well, but it has.
Well I never!
I adore Monty Python but I could never see any resemblance between Monty Python and Pratchett!!!
What I like about Pratchett is the way I'm reading along and suddenly this sentence or phrase pops out at me, and says, 'This pun was stolen from Such-and-such an postAuthorID and his work Something-or-other .' I laugh or chuckle and read on to the next one. They are always turning up.

Of course my not being well-read puts me at a disadvantage or maybe you only read the type of books that I haven't; i.e., Hardy, Hawthorn, and Higgins (Thomas, Nathaniel, and Erasmus). But then I doubt if TP ever pulled a pun from the works of any of those fine fellows. Big Smile Smilie
I liked the fourth book So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish better than Mostly Harmless the fifth and final, but that was probably because in the last he finally got rid of (destroyed) Earth as well as Arthur Dent. And I knew he wasn't going to bring our hero back from the disaster of Reichenbach Falls, where Sir Arthur first tried to kill off Mr. S. Holmes. Very Big Grin Smilie And now, of course, he can't. Very Sad Smilie

[Edited on 20/4/2002 by Grondmaster]
I think I'll start reading Douglas Adams, otherwise I'm going to be unable to follow your discussions here. Very Big Grin Smilie

I just love Monty Python! Ha Ha Ha Smilie
I believe the soon-to-be-posthumously-released Salmon of Doubt will feature a very Reichenbach falls kind of thing in it, though I might be completely wrong.
is Salmon of Doubt going to be one of those deals where he wrote part of it, then someone else took over to finish it all out, or did he finish it before he passed away?
I don't know, cos DNAs idea of finished was kinda different to anybody elses. Many would say that the HHGTG was finished with the original radio play but he kept on messing about with it, so there may well be a complete version that he just wasn't happy with. Haven't actually been to look anything up on it yet, really should have done I think...
I think I just prooved my point here... Very Big Grin Smilie
What point?
Oh, and I put Children of the Jedi in the other thread, however I'm now half way through, and it's godawful sh*te so it should be in here, not even for the most loyal of Star Wars fans could this be good, I'm sorry Barbara Hamlyn, but you can't write for crap. There was a paragraph on the Ithorian's shoes for gods sake, it wasn't even very relevant...
That I really can't follow this conversation unless I read Douglas Adams. Very Big Grin Smilie
Ok ok, I'm bored, so I'll leave you in peace now. Not for long though... Very Evil Smilie
Boring Smilie
I know exactly what you mean Allyssa! Unfortunatelly I`ve read dusins of books that don`t deserve an writers award, but they always end up interesting in some weird kinda way Elf Confused Smilie

I really hate books like that cause they keep me reading..and I don`t want to read them cause they are boring (and sick sometimes). I have a own radar for them..well, at least till I discovered Tolkiens amazing world In Love Smilie

Terry Pratchett disguts me. I do like Monty Python however. Let's see...I honsetly can't think of a book I hate. Maybe...when I was in third grade I read a book by Gary Pulson I had to drag myself through.
Terry Pratchett disguts me

Orc Going Huh Smilie
How can you not like him if you don't know the guy? Oh, wait a minute, are you talking about him or his books? Not that it matters, I'd disagree with you anyways, cause I like them. Na-na-na-na-na Smilie
As for Monty Python, I have only one thing to say; This is a dead parrot...
Orc Grinning Smilie

[Edited on 12/10/2002 by Grondmaster]
That is not a dead parrot! It is 'the larch', and I should know 'cause I'm a Lumberjack, and I'm okay! Big Laugh Smilie
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa. Orc With Thumbs Up Smilie

Please, do not use smilies in your signature. They waste valuable bandwidth.

[Edited on 12/10/2002 by Rednell]
That lord of the rings book is really bad.. i mean.. WHAT IS THAT CRAP??? Dwarves? Hobbits? WHAT???

Lighening Smilie

ok.. back to an old post.. Im sorry, but I love Steinbeck.. How can you not???
I loved Of mice and Men... Grape of Wrath. great book... but then.. Im from California.. where they were written, so maybe i am biased....
Very Big Grin Smilie I saw "Men in tights" again this weekend. LMAO!!! Anyone who's depressed or needs a laugh, go and see it, it's hilarious! Big Laugh Smilie
I also love Steinbeck. I am reading Grapes of Wrath right now. At first I didn't like it though because I wasn't used to his style of writing.
My favourite Steinbeck book is "Sweet Thursday" (I am not sure about the exact title, because I read that book first in French...). It is a great book, funny and moving and wise...
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