Thread: Middle-Earth Put Downs
"Here shall you fail of all your hopes, and here may you yet die the same death as I." - Eol to Maeglin. Wow, such bitterness! Bye bye to you too, dad!
"Nonetheless I will grant thy prayer, and thy shalt go to Eilinel, and be set free of my service." - Sauron to Gorlim. Oooooh, sarcasm!
"Die now and the darkness have thee!" - Turin to Glaurung. Gotcha!
"Fool of a Took!" - Gandalf to Pippin. Short and to the point.
Yeah, I noticed Tolkien was pretty good with insults in the books I often say them to my brother.
And if you don’t, well, Providence will hunt you down and cast your weak excuse for a living into the cloudsome ashes whence you came. Good Day, Sir!
I specially enjoy where Randulf is talking to Maruman in Isengard.
Randulf? Maruman? Don't you mean Gandalf and Saruman?
I guess I suck at insults. Curses I can manage pretty dandy. Do you think they took the time to think of an insult before the situation arrived? Like, if I catch someone stealing my horse, I shall yell to him in an abrupt and threatening fashon. Hey, you! No that’s not quite what I want to say... You! You low life bag of... Of what? What could be really insulting? I know! Bag of horse poop. For he is stealing my horse, so he’ll understand what I mean. It starts kinda stong, but "poop" sounds not insulting enough. What then? I know! Get your filthy hands of my steed, you low life bag of Meneur! There! I got it! I’m just glad I had time to think of it in case it happens. Its hard nowadays to find the right words to insult somebody. At least I got that one covered!
It is good, Lord Curufin to find a kinsman thus kindly at need. I will remember it when I return.
The meaning of wab chnages every 64th of a nanosecond, so I can basically choose whatever it means at any given time (And you of course, Azadhel) But now I must explain this:
Wab goes wabwab,
Wab-ti-wab goes wab,
and Wabwab goes wab-ti-wab.
But of course, I hear you cry, that for example, wab-ti-wab could mean wabwab at a given time, so wab could go wab-ti-wab. When this happens, a wabbitywab has occurred.
(Amarie had to edit this post. Please do not write such long words, it messes up the page. Thank you! )
How’s that for a tick off?
"May the sun always be in your face and rabid chihuahuas at your heels."
"May ringwraiths come and stab you with knives! Pointy knives!" Ah, flashplayer dot com. Everyone must chekc out legendary frog's movies, especially "The One Ring to Rule Them All" series.
"May the seas in motion cause you to toss your cookies."
"My lord"The great knight said distantly. "I find thy face ape like and thy form mishappen. Thy beard moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog then a proper adornment for a human face. Is it posible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?.
The baron went livid, and he spluttered, unable to speak.
"Thou seemeth wroth, my lord."Mandorallen said to him in that same deceptively mild tone,"or mayhap thine unseemly breeding hath robbed thy tongue of human speech," He looked critically at the baron,"I do perceive, my lord, that thou art afflicted with cowardice as well as lack breeding, for ,in truth no man of honor would endure such deadly insult as those which I have delivered unto thee without some response. Therefore, I fear I must goad thee further."He removed his gauntlet.
As all the world knew, it was customary to hurl one's gauntlet to the floor when issuing a challange . Mandorallen somewho missed the floor. The young baron staggered backward, spitting teeth and blood."Thou art no longer a youth, Sir Mandorallen"he raged" thou hast long used thy questionable reputation to avoid combat. Me thinks it is time to be truely tried"
"It speaks," Mandorallon said with freigned astonishment "behold this wonder, a talking dog!
Let us proceed to the lower court , My Lord of fleas, maybe a pass at arms with so elderly and feeble a knight wilt give thee entertainment"
*the seeress of Kell* David Eddings, Chapter 27,pg 404-405.
Amillelya mate salque, ar cole nyelle
which means "your mother eats grass and wears a bell"