Thread: Any Comments?
Great poem Beleg (says someone who knows very little about poetry). It evoked images of their meeting as strongly as when I first read the book.
It all works for me except the pronouns in the last stanza may be confusing to those who don't know the story.
Of course, I'm only a reader, not a poet; I don't know the rules or which can be bent when.
Quote:
The Witch King of Angmar turned and fled him,
Olorin, Warrior of Past,
But little he knew, for his death was at hand:
Rohan had come at last.
The "he" points to Olorin, the last named; therefore that line might better read: The Witch King of Angmar turned and fled him,
Olorin, Warrior of Past,
But little he knew, for his death was at hand:
Rohan had come at last.
Quote:
But little the Witch King knew, for his death was at hand:
if you aren't worried about the meter change.But little the Witch King knew, for his death was at hand:
Of course, I'm only a reader, not a poet; I don't know the rules or which can be bent when.
I see what you're saying, Grondy. How about this:
Does that work?
Quote:
The Witch King of Angmar then turned and fled
Olorin Warrior of Past,
But little he knew, for his death was at hand:
Rohan had come at last.
The Witch King of Angmar then turned and fled
Olorin Warrior of Past,
But little he knew, for his death was at hand:
Rohan had come at last.
Does that work?
Yws, I think it is better.