Thread: Comments on "Throwback"
I agree with the comments that Rednell made. In fact Rednell has summed up your work for me better than I could have done myself. Thank you, Rednall.
I wonder now whether the encounter with Gull is a turning point in Addaun's life? I doubt it will ever stop him hunting changelings, but does he now realize his noble cause is tarnished and that his life has become just an instrument of unnecessary revenge. I feel pity for Addaun at that point. Not only has he lost his halo, but he too realizes that he has.
Does anyone have anything better to say?
When I read Throwback the first time I felt it ended too abruptly. The interesting thing is that the story stayed with me and because of the ending I found myself thinking more about Addaun and Gull. I disagree with Plastic about the development of the characters. You introduce Addaun as gallant indicating he is the hero representing good. Your description of the changelings suggests absolute evil. Addaun’s bitterness and thirst for revenge came though loud and clear. Gull’s instinct for survival requires him to turn a blind eye to the evil atrocities committed by the changelings but he disapproves of the atrocities. Whatever good is in Addaun’s heart is contaminated by his bitterness. His ’ancestral character’ softens whatever evil is in Gull, as a changeling. As you have noted, no absolutes. I would like to have seen more dialogue between Gull and Addaun. Change the ending? I think your ending is quite effective. Your hero certainly lost his halo.
overall, cool story - I liked it a lot...the ending is great, but definitely a bit abrupt - if you could somehow keep the same feeling to it, but exapnd a bit, I think it'd be perfect.
I am working on The Demons Within story again (having finished school for the year). I may even turn it into a serial, if that is acceptable to the management. I will submit the first part to the council for assessment ASAP.
Did you finish the extended story Allyssa? In the meantime I finished it. It's a rather sad ending, though, and I did not write it down.
[Edited on 6/12/2002 by Eryan]